American Dream (a trilogy)

[K-dub]

Hey folks-

The first movement in this trilogy is a tune I dreamt and then woke up and recorded.

Someone here (when I posted it) commented that it sounded like it was the beginning of something "larger".

So I wrote two more movements behind it ...

No mix comments necessary, as this is very much "in progress" w/ more to add.

... but before I invest the time, I wanted to gather opinion on the early conceptualization.

Does it work as a trilogy or do the parts sound awkward -- is it a good flow?


Thanks!


Best,

Kev-


American Dream (a trilogy)

 

[VomitHatSteve]

I'm typing as I listen (This is a very long piece, so I guess I'll type slowly?)

Sounds pretty good; your voice sounds a lot like Bowie's.

The transition between the first and second movements could use some work. It doesn't sound like two movements of one song so much a segue between two different songs.

The second transition was much better. It's an abrupt change, so it still sounds like to distinct songs, but the way the second builds up to the transition makes them seem more interconnected. I'd probably shorten the time when just the piano is playing before the rest of the instruments come in at the beginning of the third movment.

Nice job. I'll be interested to hear how it comes out.

 

[K-dub]

Exactly the thoughts I was attempting to solicit, bud.

Do you think that if I developed more of an "arrangement" between the first two, it might "segue" better?

Thanks!

Kev-

 

[Rokket]

Whatever I was expecting, I didn't expect this. Very nicely played. I have nothing to add other than what Steve already alluded to. I won't give you any mix advice because you said you weren't ready for that, but I would think about bringing the vocal down a hair in the mix when you do. The louder sung parts jump out a bit too much. It's not horrid, and a little harder press with the compression will help that out. Don't overdo it, you'll lose the great dynamics you have going on.

Unlike what Steve said, I am going for the opposite on the bridge between the first and second movement. I actually believe a longer segue would be better, with a steady building.

Are the 'oooh' and 'aahs' organic or is that a keyboard?

4:25 in and I am still intrigued. There is a Meatloaf/Pink Floyd thing going on here with the whole piece that I like. And the vocals are pretty damn good, the above mentioned nit aside.

I am at 5:45 and I guess into the third movement. Yeah, the last part is a total departure from the first two. Not sure if this is the direction I would have moved in, but then again, I would have brought the drums/guitar/bass in a lot sooner, say midway into the second movement. Not my piece, so you can ignore that, but I really like the last part. Not too keen on the bass, I can't decide if it's a real fretless or a keyboard patch. Doesn't quite fit, but that may be an eq thing too...

Very nice overall. Kept my attention all the way through, and with a lot of stuff on here lately, that's saying a lot.

 

[K-dub]

This whole piece formed oddly, as I alluded to above.

The first passage came to me in a dream complete, and what you hear here is what I got up that morning, played and sang.

The second passage was bits and pieces that I had of another piece that I thought would meld with this ... so I recorded it distinctly from the first ... leaving the piano segue at the end as a tail to eventually hump the next passage onto ...

Which I wrote competely new ... and auditioned all separately on RP.

What's heard here is the end result of the assimilation of the three distinct works.

After I got each "sort of" in place, I then went to assemble the full sequence.

I had NO distinct connection from the first to the second passage ... and I agree that that's the clumsiest of the transitions currently ... but some folks seem to think that a quick transition is favored ... but no TOO quick.

Originally, my thought was to take the ringing chord from the end to a slow fade in of the next ... but it didn't really sit right w/ me. It was dischordant and clunky.

So I took the conservative route ...

I opened a new file in Sonar. I took each piece and put them in relative order ... placing each separate movement in tracks 1, 2 and 3.

I then spaced the files ... giving enough room between track 1 and 2 to insert a new "arrangement" that attempted to bridge the "gap" of the differences.

Between 2 and 3 was actually trickier.

Although I'd set up both to "jive", AND recorded each at 120 bpm ... finding the right groove ... where shit felt "natural" in the transition ... was a bitch to get "right". Yet, I think I FINALLY hit it okay.

THAT ALL SAID ...

This is a frame.

I've complete lyric rewrite ... to conceptually combine the three passages.

I've bgvs to add.

I've smoothing between transition 1 and 2 (and thanks ... I thought so too).

I (because of the lyric change) have to retrack the main vocal.

The bass of the third passage, which is a Roland JV1010 (good guess!) is something I wish to immediately jettison ... although it fits to give direction to future intent.

So much to do ... but thanks for letting me know your thoughts! What everyone offers becomes part of the process!

Best,

Kev-

 

[VomitHatSteve]

So listening a second time, I think the trouble with the first transition is the minor chord you throw in there. Is that a key change? If not, I'd probably find a different chord to use there instead.

Rokket's probably right that a longer transition would serve you better. I think these sorts of transitions work best when they're very abrupt (like the the second one in this trilogy) or very drawn out so that the listener doesn't really notice.