Mixer overlay @ 0:19: too fast, can't tell what it is. If the viewer can't see it, doesn't make sense to use it.
Shot @ 0:26: aspect ratio needs to be corrected so either all of it needs to be 4:3 or the 4:3 shot needs to be stretched to 16:9. Also, looks bad with the person walking across the shot. Since you're overdubbing audio and not really sync'ing to it....I'd edit around that. Viewer probably doesn't want to see "some random guy's" back & butt.
Guitar pan @ 0:39 i would personally stop before it gets to the word Epiphone due to potential for giving false impression of sponsorship/support. This is moot if you're not going to be selling the album and it's distribution for publicity.
Opening shot --> 0:17 (this is where the fast mixer stuff starts) = love it!
Closing shot = love it!
All in all, not bad and a good direction.
