Z
Zarathustra
New member
I have alot of trouble writing my own lyrics, or even my own tunes. I find it pretty easy to make fun of preexisting songs, but I have no desire to become a ripoff of Weird Al.
I've been singing and playing the song Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen. It's a beautiful song, and it's got great lyrics. I suppose I'm butchering it, but after singing it late one loneley night, I came up with a new verse for it, basing it off a passage of Deuteronomy, commanding the Israelites to destroy the pagan altars (the song does have alot of biblical in-references). But damn it all, I can't get the Hallelujah line. Here's a sample of the song to show you how it goes, if you don't know already. You probably should listen to it before telling me anything, just to see if what I have fits.
I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do ya?
Well it goes like this, the Fourth, the Fifth
the Minor fall, the Major Lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah!
You see, it rhymes two lines, then says something that ends with do ya, to ya, or fool ya. Then a kind of forced triple rhyme, and it ends in Hallelujah. I've got a verse that goes like this (and it pleased the Lord)?
For you I built a throne of gold
A silver idol dead and cold
And from the One I gave my worship to ya
But all you did was cut me down
You threw my pillars to the ground
And something something something Hallelujah!
I dunno what that last line should be. "And it wasn't worth a single Hallelujah"? I dunno. It needs to end in Hallelujah and fit with the verse, any help would be appreciated. If I'm just wasting my time on a crap verse to a great song, please tell me. I'll try to write my own then.
I'm a lousy poet, though.
I've been singing and playing the song Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen. It's a beautiful song, and it's got great lyrics. I suppose I'm butchering it, but after singing it late one loneley night, I came up with a new verse for it, basing it off a passage of Deuteronomy, commanding the Israelites to destroy the pagan altars (the song does have alot of biblical in-references). But damn it all, I can't get the Hallelujah line. Here's a sample of the song to show you how it goes, if you don't know already. You probably should listen to it before telling me anything, just to see if what I have fits.
I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do ya?
Well it goes like this, the Fourth, the Fifth
the Minor fall, the Major Lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah!
You see, it rhymes two lines, then says something that ends with do ya, to ya, or fool ya. Then a kind of forced triple rhyme, and it ends in Hallelujah. I've got a verse that goes like this (and it pleased the Lord)?
For you I built a throne of gold
A silver idol dead and cold
And from the One I gave my worship to ya
But all you did was cut me down
You threw my pillars to the ground
And something something something Hallelujah!
I dunno what that last line should be. "And it wasn't worth a single Hallelujah"? I dunno. It needs to end in Hallelujah and fit with the verse, any help would be appreciated. If I'm just wasting my time on a crap verse to a great song, please tell me. I'll try to write my own then.
I'm a lousy poet, though.
