A song about my father's passing

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VTgreen81

VTgreen81

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This was a collaboration from another site that was centered on a lyric I wrote about the events surrounding my father's death. Many thanks and Kudos to Scrubs for writing the music and performing the lead vox bass and guitars. The Song is Still Cold Blowing Breeze
 
Thanks for listening, those of you who did, I'm curious though, what did you think?
 
A touching song. Don't know how long ago it happened but I feel for you... I've been there.

I'd like to hear more of the mandolin - it's a great part. I like the spontaneous quality that the main and BG vocals have - it's not an over-rehearsed-too-many-takes kind of sound and adds a lot to the mood of the song. Good voices - the BG singer has a sweet sound. I'd prefer them and the ac gtr a little less big and close sounding, maybe less reverb too overall. To my ear there's a little low-mid buildup with the bass & gtr but it's not bad. Yeah, too much reverb... I'd prefer a more realistic in-the-room sound to go along with the genuineness of the lyric and performance. Just my 2c though… it’s really nice as it is.

Can you post the lyrics?... hard to make them out some of the time.

Tim
 
Timothy Lawler said:
Can you post the lyrics?... hard to make them out some of the time.

Tim
Click to expand...
Thanks for checking it out Tim.

I'll run it again through my RTA and see if I can find that low -mid hump.

On a storm swept moonless night
The wind came with a chill
Although the breeze was blowing
The air was deadly still.
Our cries were in the distance
They could hear them through the trees
Whispered in their ears
By that still cold blowing breeze

Running through the fog
Drifting in the haze
Anxiety, confusion, going home
We're trapped inside a maze
It all could end in an instant
I'll know then what he sees
Blown away too quickly
By that still cold blowing breeze

Darkness follows shadows
Shadows follow me
Who am I to turn to?
What shall I believe?
I believe what gives me comfort
What puts my mind at ease?
And offer up my wishes
On that still cold blowing breeze

The nights no longer moonless
But the wind still brings a chill
When the storm comes blowing in
As it often will
Our cries have turned to prayers
If just for our own ease
Carried to the heavens
On that still cold blowing breeze

Darkness follows shadows
Shadows follow me
Who am I to turn to?
What shall I believe?
I believe what gives me comfort
What puts my mind at ease?
And offer up my wishes
on that still cold blowing breeze
 
Beautiful song! Really like the vocals but at times it seems the main and bg vocals run over each other and takes away from the mood (but just a touch). Great tune!
 
SuperCreep..............That's the best compliment anyone could give to this song. Thank you. It took me several weeks of just listening and becoming immune to the emotions before I could actually work with it.

Megaman............Thanks for the listen and comments. The BGvox levels we're intentional, almost going for more of a duet than a lead and backing vox arrangement.

I've since tweaked the mix by rolling off about 2 dB at 250 to clean up the low-mids and take away the "boominess" I was getting on some systems.

The lastest mix is available here
 
VT, very nice! Nice mix. I also agree that the BG vocals were sitting too up front in the mix and offset with the lead vocals. The song is a bit too long for me to stay interested, and it is a bit repetitive sounding throughout. The chorus does not stand out, meaning that the verse to chorus transition was subtle, so it kept the song kindof uneventfull. However, I still was very moved by the melody, mood, a some of the lyrics of the song, which caused me to do a bit of reflecting about my father's passing as well last year. Overall, I would say excellent job, thanks!
 
Hi VTgreen81

First time I've listened to one of your songs and I like what I hear...

A well written song is a fine tribute and while I don't know your fathers musical tastes I'm sure that he'd be touched to be remembered in this way... after all who wouldn't like to have a great song written after them?

Cheers
Al
 
Great song, very emotional.
liked that mandolin.
and the vox are very sensetive and nice.

nice lyrics as well.
 
Thank you all for listening and commenting. The excellence on Mandolin was performed by HR & RP member "dtb" .
 
VTgreen81 said:
This was a collaboration from another site that was centered on a lyric I wrote about the events surrounding my father's death. Many thanks and Kudos to Scrubs for writing the music and performing the lead vox bass and guitars. The Song is Still Cold Blowing Breeze
Click to expand...
This song made me cry too. It is very emotion filled, and the melodicness of it is haunting. I had quite a few listens. It draws one into your own emotions.

Great lyrics VT!

Great vox, and tune Scrubs!
 
Thanks for the comments. I really enjoyed working on this tune.
 
Hmmm....I don't know. I really don't like the Main Vocal/BG Vocal much.

Here's my thought on way:

This is very much a commercial sounding song. I could easily see it played as a country tune on the radio. However, the two vocals seem to fight with each other too much. I like your voice, I like the girls voice. Used sporadically I think it would be great...but it's too much.

I want to be drawn into the song. There's not enough emotional pull for an emotional song.

If it was me...and I'm not much of a musician myself, but I would cut out the BG from the entire first two verses. Keep in the chorus, and maybe add it in certain places where it would create a good harmony.

Also, I would do a fade out on the song instead of an abrupt stop.

This is only a simpleton's opinion.
 
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