a sad song...what do y'all think?

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jimistone

jimistone

long standing member
i wrote a song about a close friend of mine who's wife died in childbirth....i wrote in from his perspective. Any input would be appreciated.

there is no chorus...cause the chord progression i used makes the last line of one verse kind of flow into the first line of the next verse.

(spoken intro) "you know, i think back on the little spats that me and my baby used to have and end up not speaking to each other for for a few days. Then out of left field she's gone....i sure do wish i could talk to her now....this is what i'd say..."

1st
when day turns into night,
i get a pain down deep inside.
you've left me here behind,
and im loosing my mind...
cause you're not there to reach out and touch.
i love you girl
and i miss you so much.
2nd
so i think back on better days,
before the Lord called you away,
we were hand in hand,
now all i've got's your wedding band,
and some love letters that i read each night.
then the tears start to fall
you know it just don't seem right.
3rd
that im left here all alone.
i try to carry on
cause i know that in the end,
we'll be together once again,
i'll be there no need to pretend,
we'll fall in love
all over again

there is a line the repeats several times on the end as the song will fade out
"lord call me home....my angel's all alone"
 
My input? Excellent! Touching. Have you played it for your friend? It might not be easy for him to listen to, but these things can be very therapeutic. I especially like the lines "we'll fall in love
all over again" - a ray of hope in all this dispair.
Well done.

Bob
 
Simple Tune, beautiful song.

It brought a tear to my eye reading the song. It would be hard to know exactly what a person who goes through a traumatic time as the one you described would be feeling. This song gives an insight into this. Play the song to him. He will cry when he hears it, however if something so beautiful is written he will appreciate it soo much.

Excelent song

Porter
 
thanks for the input guys...i really like the song too. When i wrote this tune it was one of those times when the lyrics flowed and everything i wanted to say rhymed. (a very RARE thing for me LOL).
 
I had a song like that... written for my Grand Father in the morning just after he had passed away.

Here it is:

True Time

Verse 1
There’s a journey,
we all must take one day.
Some people take it early,
and others late.
And when the true time comes,
you don’t have a say.
All your suffering,
gets taken away.

Verse 2
Some babies,
don’t even live a day.
Their lives,
taken prematurely away.
And when the true time comes,
you don’t have a say.
Some things in life,
are just unfair.

Verse 3
Old age,
Will never escape the young, that’s for sure!
Disease or disability,
The type you make or the type you catch.
And when the true time comes,
you don’t have a say.
Life is too short,
everybody says.

Verse 4
You say goodbye,
to a body but not the soul.
It lives on in your heart,
for as long as you live.
Then when my true time comes,
we’ll be together again.


© Daniel Porter 2000
-------------------------------------------------

Porter
 
good lyrics porter....i lived with my grandad and grandma for about 10 years when i was growing up and losing them was really hard on me. If i wrote a song about losing my grandad I don't know if i could sing it without crying.
 
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