A New Song

  • Thread starter Thread starter Mason Jarre
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Mason Jarre

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I'd really appreciate your comments - good and bad - on my home-produced song "Forever And A Day" at my web site. The forum won't let me include the URL, so just stick the appropriate suffix on "masonjarre" to find it.

Remember, though - I'm a songwriter, not a singer.
 
Okay . . . I decided to go for a search . . . and I found the site and the song.

You say you are not a singer, that you are a songwriter, and you want comments on your home produced song.

Strangely, it is your voice that I like best of all. I accept the limitations that it has at the moment . . . for example you run out of breath quickly. But I kinda like its timbre, and it would be interesting to here you try something that was lyrically darker and more desolate.

The song "Forever and a day" doesn't do much for me I'm afraid. I appreciate the sentiment behind it, but you've delved too deeply into the cupboard of cliches for my liking.

The production has some musically interesting things, but you have a fair bit of work ahead of you to make this gel. There are two major points of disconnect. The first is between the voice and the general backing: there's no sense of them belonging together. The voice is too far forward, the backing is too far back. I acknowledge that the mix ensures that the vocals are heard. The second point of disconnect is between the vaguely guitar-sounding instrument and the backing. The solo bits sound too artificial, and don't mesh properly with anything else. Additionally there are some timing problems here and there.

If you see yourself as a writer, and you want to be recognised as such, maybe another approach could be to keep the backing as plain as possible; just a piano or a guitar, so that it has at least a neutral effect on the song. That way the lyrical and melodic quality can be judged without being contaminated by background distractions.
 
Needed a prefix and a suffix to get a fix on the site...then a download. That's a fair bit to ask... you ought to set up a steamer like on soundclick etc.
The music and vocals don't gel. It's not that your voice is bad - it works in a Rod mcKuen way but the backing is SSSOOO polite it could be synthetically developed my Microsoftsongsmith - in fact that program would probably provide you with some more interesting stuff than I heard.
You ought to take some more cues from McKuen and simplify the backing to just a nylon string acoustic and piano - ah, I see Gecko is on the same line of thought. If you're havingt trouble with breath and phrasing do two takes and split up the lyric son you can manage chunks in a take.
The songs - I listened to a couple - are lyrically country in that they cling to homeliness and comfortable phrases a little too much.
I think there's an audience for your voice and songs - but not with the style of backing you've chosen - even Brill Building writers just used a single instrument and focused on melody and hooks - if you want to tout your tracks focus on what makes them memorable.
 
I thank you both for your comments.

I'm doing what I call "pre-demo demo" recordings; i. e., mp3 versions I can send to a producer to give him a foundation upon which to build a demo. They also help my partner, a producer of some four decades, to judge which songs are worthy of promotion.

To the extent that I can convey, with my limited talent, the emotion of the song, I try to do so - but I neither have nor want to work to attain the competence to be a singer at my age (68). I'm something of a neophyte writer, having begun less than two years ago.

As long as I'm recording and producing at home, however, I do want to improve my skills in those areas. So your observations are of great value to me, and I shall take them to heart.

KEN DIXON
Vice President/Writer Relations
Blanding Publishing Company BMI

aka: Mason Jarre, songwriter
 
http://www.masonjarre.com/clicktolisten.html


I'm a classical musician for a living. In opera, there is something called "Recitative". This is essentially what you are doing here.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recitative

Recitative /rɛsɪtə'ti:v/ (also known by its Italian name "recitativo" (/retʃita'ti:vo/)) is a style of delivery (much used in operas, oratorios, and cantatas) in which a singer is allowed to adopt the rhythms of ordinary speech.

Schonberg (classical composer) would call this "Sprechstimme".

Basically, the listener cannot make out a discernable "melody". I could not notate the melody here if you paid me too. There is no rhythm to catch on to, it's basically talking over a chord progression, with pauses at the end of sentences. If I had to pick a genre for this music, I would call it "rap". Seriously.;)

I would suggest making alternate versions, with a piano or synth playing the melody. It would give the listener a much better idea of what you are going for. :)
 
David...

What an interesting perspective. Thank you!

I have a close friend who is also a classically-trained musician and teacher, and I'm amazed that he sees validity in what I do. He's surprisingly supportive. I don't read a note of music, and I have the greatest respect for those who are disciplined enough to study and become accomplished musicians.

As far as the rap comparison is concerned, I'll need to give some serious thought to an image makeover!

KEN DIXON
 
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