A Higher Place and Time...

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RAMI

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I just finished this song, though I know it's not finished becasue I always get great advice here that makes me go back and re-do a few things. Right off the bat, I know I have to re-do a few shaky vocal lines.

This is the first tune I record with my new TASCAM 2488, so I'm still getting to know it.
As usual, comments, criticism are more than welcome....Thanx

It's called A Higher Place and Time
 
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Oops...Sorry, True...Since this one worked, I edited it to read what I originally wanted to say...:)
 
LOL!! No problem.

A bit funky, I liked it.









BUT ....I got to listening to the others again, and I couldn't stop. I was going to reply15-20 min ago. LOL. I am hung up on the 70's song!! :D
 
RAMI, good sounds once again. Nice feel to the song. It flowed very nicely. Bass sounds very cool. Nice tone, and it sits well in the mix. Vocals are killer. You are in tune the whole way through, and very smooth, even with the pitch changes. I like the song alot, and will give you some constructive criticism later, after I have had a chance to listen a few more times and think. I heard a few small things I would like to hear different, but after a few listens, this may change.

Talk at ya later..
Ed
 
Thanx guys. Dog, anything you hear that you'd change, I'm open to suggestions. I work alone from beginning to end on songs, so I only have one set of ears to go by.
This is about as corny as I'll ever get lyrically and melody-wise, but needed to write and record this song. Thanx
 
The chorus of this song is really catchy. I could actually remember the chorus (in fact, it is still in my head now) after listening to the song a couple of times.

The only thing I may have done differently is keep the vocal harmonies in the last chorus. I figure you may have been trying to break it up some there at the end; but I think those harmonies over the chorus really give the song a cool feel. To take them out there at the end is a bit anticlimactic...not a deal breaker though.

Overall, the mix and arrangement was really cool - simple and to the point...and that is why it sticks in my head.
 
I like the song Rami. I think the drums and vocals are especially well recorded - very live sounding. I like the guitars but they sound a little overcompressed and reverby to me, though I like the distortion. The bass is a bit too dark IMO, especially given that the line is so interesting - deserves a little high freq articulation (a tiny bit would do it). At the beginning I think it'd sound a little better if the vocal and guitar weren't panned so hard – the vocal sounds kind of bare to me - and if the reverb used on the gtr matched more closely the drier vocal. The bass sounds great when it comes in. The BG vocal is done really well. Man, the bass part is good.

Tim
 
Good advice guys.
I was never sure about leaving the harmony out of that last chorus, but like you said, Boo, I wanted to break it up a bit. I'll have to try and put it back and see if it's better in there.

Timothy, now that you mention the intro having too much panning space between the guitar and vocals, I hear exactly what you mean. The vocal is pretty much in the centre, but the guitar is on the left. I should pan the guitar only after the "band" (that's me) comes in. I also will dry up the guitars a bit, too.
Thanx guys. Good stuff.
 
Thanx alot for the advice guys. I re-posted it and took alot of the suggestions in this thread into account. I moved the guitar to the middle in the intro and slowly panned it as the "band" comes in. I also wet the vocals a slight bit more so they're not so in your face. I tried adding some highs to the bass, but couldn't really find any frequencies that would make a difference in the mix. I might have tracked it without enough highs. I also added the harmonies in the last chorus. Can't remember exactly what else I did, LOL...But I made a few other changes based on some comments I got. I think it's getting there...Thanx guys.
 
Great song, RAMI - once again you have done a great job delivering the vocal.

I think the intro guitar is a little too much distorted - I'd like to hear a little more string there.

This is a great song to use a pedal tone device - some simple string of notes that repeats throughout the verses modulated by the bass guitar notes (Sorry if I'm being didactic).

Maybe switching up instrumentation in the 2nd verse (piano or ep instead of guitar) would help move this one along too.

Is this stuff available commercially?

-Casey
 
Hey casey...Thanx alot for the comments. You're not the first one to tell me they think the guitar in the intro is too distorted. I can see why, it is a bit dirty for that kind of part, I might vhange it. I'll let it sit for a few days and see how it sounds after not hearing it for a few days.
Not to justify it, but my reasoning for using a dirty sound there was becasue I didn't want the song to end up being too typically "ballad-y". That's the same reason I kept the vocals a little drier than most would have. I didn't want it to fall into the typical rock ballad sound with long echos and reverbs. whether I'm doing the song justice or not that way, I'm still not sure, but i just didn't want to do the obvious with it.
As far as my stuff being available commercially...I wish. I don't have enough songs yet, but when I do, I'll probably send a few to CD BABY. I have an older collection of tunes on a CD at CD BABY, but they're not great recordings, so I don't really consider that CD even exists any more.
Thanx for the reply :)
 
Sweet Song!

On the guitar, I like it dirty, but the sound you have IMO doesnt have much presence.
 
RAMI, I will try and be as ctitical as possible. I love the tune, and if it were mine, I wouldn't change a thing. I actually couldn't, so that's easy for me to say. You've gotten so many elements right, that anything wrong is more polishing, than anything else. I usually get one thing right for every 10 wrong things, andf have to be satisfied with that.

All that being said, I agree with Casey about the guitar in the intro. You should at least try a fairly clean setting, just to get some more string sound, and it will thin it out a bit, so you could have it a bit louder, without burying the vocal. If nothing else, try some eq, and cut the bottom end off, just a little. It's deep, and your voice is more in the middle, so there is some space to play with and fill. Once the band comes in, you could dirty it up, or add the lower frq's back. I like the bass alot, don't know that it needs anything. Vocal sounds very strong, and seems to fit well in the mix. When the bass is more the central figure, it could probably use more highs, but sounds very well with everything else playing, so probably needs nothing.

If you could, maybe add a bit more bottom end to the main vocal, and see if that fits, but that may not, so take that as just something I heard I might try. May screw things up too much.

Dude, killer tune. If you don't change a thing, It's still on par with the best shit I've heard on this site, and you've heard, there's a lot of cool tunes here.
Ed
 
Ok, so I finally caved and added a clean guitar track...slowly fading in the dirty as the first verse progresses. I know it's better, but I was just trying to avoid doing what would be "conventional". Can't deny it sounds better, though. Once again, based on feedback from people here, I think this song is now way better than if I didn't ask opinions from you great people. Thanx alot.
 
RAMI, I really like this bass guitar. At :51 - :56 you are playing a very tasteful countermelody to your vocal. I appreciate the little details like that. I notice that as a drummer, you write songs like a rhythm section would, a very holistic approach; you're not just providing a platform for a guitar showcase.

The only thing I can suggest is that you avoid the dipthong when you sing words like rise and eyes.

-Casey
 
I heartily agree with Casey on the bass playing. Played like a bassist. (that's a compliment.). The clean guitar puts a bit more focus on the vocals at the start. It's actually a nice sound. Not cheesey, just clean. I won't say I disliked the distorted guitar before, but this one changes what your focus is at the begining.

Very cool tune. Just full of nice, clean sounds.

Ed
 
The chorus is excellent. :) Especially the first time you hear it, and not expecting it. Dogman is spot on about the bass.

Summed up I'd say this song is all about happy contentment. :cool:
 
Thanx guys! I guess, being a drummer, I've spent so much time listening to and playing with bass players that I try to make it more than just a "supporting" instrument. Just got to watch that I don't overdo it sometimes...I might be on the verge of over-playing sometimes...
Casey, I know what you mean about the way I end lines with the "eye" vowel...Funny how some vowels are easier to stay on key with, and "eye" and "cry" aren't one of them for me, so I think I do that dip just to protect myself...lol.
Roktuk, does "happy contentment" mean "fucking corny"??? haha!!
Thanx for all the help and comments.
 
RAMI said:
Roktuk, does "happy contentment" mean "fucking corny"???
Click to expand...


Not at all!!! I didn't mean to imply that. Words are not my forte'. :o
I just meant that the words and music are a perfect match.
Sounds like a guy with a beautiful life and the music brings that out.

:)
 
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