427 Skid Row

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badgas

badgas

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Here is a simple verse/bridge song I wrote about fifteen years ago.
I'd forgotten all about it till I found it last night.
Gonna post it here for some feed back on the lyrics, structure, getting the point across or anything else.
After looking at it most of the night and this morn', I find I'm not happy with the bridge, so I'm gonna change it. The verses will remain the same unless someone finds something amiss in the presentation of the meaning.
It's just under 3 minutes, and a straight forward simple melody.
When I get my studio put back together I'll record it and post it.
Till then,,,


427 Skid Row

~ Verse 1 ~
You say you wanna hear my story, well then listen right along.
I've been down here on this avenue just a little too long.
My friends use to call me Easy, but now they just don't know.
Life is hard on this avenue at 427 Skid Row.

~ Verse 2 ~
My home is on my back, and a side door pullman my ride.
The winters they liked to chill me, and in the summers I nearly fried.
I ride dirty face and I'm free and proud, riding the rolling crescendo.
But life it hard on this avenue at 427 Skid Row.

~ Bridge ~
I've streamlined from Tampa to Houston and up to ol' Montreal.
Rode those grainers from Seattle to Atlanta and on to cold St. Paul.

~ Verse 3 ~
I jumped a freight in Natchez, watchin' from a box car door,
The myths and legends of older hobos, now I'm livin' the lore.
It was lonely, hard and tough and I'll share with you, all of what I know.
Life is hard on the avenue called 427 Skid Row.

~ Bridge ~
I've streamlined from Tampa to Houston and up to ol' Montreal.
Rode those grainers from Seattle to Atlanta and on to cold St. Paul.
 
Train songs

Too bad boxcar willie died you could have sold this one.
 
Possible bridge rewording.

"I've trampled over Tampa, hitched Houston and ol' Montreal.
Rode those grainger from Seattle to Atlanta, concoured cold St. Paul"

Just a quick thought. Tried to make the verses flow out of the mouth better.

What don't you like about the bridge that you have?

Hope I didn't step on your lyrical toes.
Theron.
 
I like it. Lyricly your bridge works fine as it is- what bothers you about it?

The only thing I noticed is that I want a 4th verse. The story seems like it lacks an end because I'm not sure if you want to focus on what was or what it. Maybe that's just me, though, because I'm not sure what else you would say. Believe it or not changing "Life was hard...." to "Life is hard..." would satisfy that little.

:) Maybe I just want to hear more about what's going on with this guy.

I can't wait to hear it.
 
BG..Good stuff as always!The bridge is pretty good as it sits..The only thing that I see is maybe substitue..Hitched for Steamlined and Hopped for rode...Verbage is easier that way?..Life gets so hard on {427} Skidrow Avenue..Try "Railroad Rodeo" instead of "Rolling Crescendo"..Just ideas as always..Good song, Be cool to hear the finished version!Good luck

Don
 
Thanks guys, for the replies.
I find each one of interest and positive in structure and rhyme.
I have to mull over each suggestion individually.

Darrin,
Thanks for your comment. Thinks so huh? :)

Theron,
As in any field, if you'd call hoboing a field, there is a lingo that goes with it.
'Streamlining' is when someone rides with no baggage, no bedroll, water, food, nothing but what they wear.
I tried to fit several phrases in like that in different spots.
But now that you mentioned it, probably no one except someone who's streamlined would know what it means.
A good point you brought up. Worthy of much thought.
I wear steel toed boots, m'friend. Besides, if my toes were delicate, I'd not be asking for this.
Thanks for your comment.

Chris,
Theron mentioned the bridge also.
I guess it's ok, but there's just something about it that don't sit right in my craw. Funny thing is I was going to use that bridge lyric in a fourth verse and redo the whole bridge.
I'm trying to keep it under three minutes though, and another verse would mean really singing fast.
I've tried that and it doesn't sound, ummm, real. Too much, too fast.
'More about the guy', you say? Yes, I agree. Possibly, to keep the time down, changing a few lines in the one of the verses a bit, but then, a longer version wouldn't hurt either.
I'm trying to keep the time down cuz I might pitch it as a country/folk song.
I blow harp, use a slide through out with some electric guit filling in with some riffs. No definate soloing. But a longer version would let me do that. Hmmm.
Yes, you've given me more to concider. Much obliged.

Henri,
Thanks for the compliment.
Yes, the bridge again. Ya know, I may let it sit as is, and add another verse. I guess I was wanting the bridge to say more.
What do you think about adding one more line to the bridge?
Change the chord pattern on that third line so it leads into the next verse a bit with a bit of ease.
Ah huh. Steamline is mentioned again. I'll give 'hitched' some serious concideration.
I used the term, 'rolling crescendo' because it was music to my ears. The steel wheels clicking along the joints in the track, the rumbling and growling coming from the floor, and the rocking motion gave me many an inspirational moments with my harp. Thats when this song was born.
I always think of a rodeo as either a cowboy event or a joke about something. But I'll give your idea about changing crescendo some deep thought.

I should be done moving and have my studio set up in a few weeks. It'll be the first tune I work on with any seriousness. By then I should have the lyrics down, and I'll toss up the rest of it and find out what it comes across as.
Again, thanks for your comments you guys. Most productive.
 
I like it, lots of good imagery and terms, but then again I'm a sucker for 'em. Had the good fortune to many times hear Rose Maddox and the Maddox brothers do 'Old Black Choo Choo' and after that you're never the same.

That said, most sucessful hobo songs are in a narrative rather than the first person and for a reason, audiences are not sympathetic to the down and out but are to those who sing about them. It also gives you more options regarding the main character and what becomes of him. At least that's what I got from Steve Goodman.

I never wrote a train song cause I never lived it, even though my great grandfather was an engineer on the KATY and his gold watch is in my posession, it just never sunk in.

My favorite is an obscure one by Bruce 'Utah' Phillips:

QUEEN OF THE RAILS
v) I guess his name was boomer Bill, if that wont do, another will
A hobo doesn't need a name cause he never gets no mail
And the only friend that boomer had to ride with through the good and bad
Was a shaggy little mongrel he called Queen of the rails

(ch) The black smoke choo choo's gone away bummin its iust not the same
Dreams are few and far between but memories seldom fail
Waiting down there by the track for her master to come back'
You can count on seein that old dog called queen of the rails

v) Boomer bummed the rio grande the Santa Fe and never planned
on where hed be from day to day the jungle or the jail
But when the snow was falling down, he'd catch a California bound
With, that little day to keep him warm he called queen of the rails

v) one day he went to get a bone and left his little pal alone
He crossed the coupling joints of a train that blocked the yard
They switched the reefer off the main, and humped it into boomers train
He fell and died beneath the iron wheels so cold and hard

v) theres a place for some old friends, Who wait until the journeys end
Then boomer he'll be glad to see old queen of the rails
 
Nice song, philboyd.
Crossin' on the couplers is pretty dangerous, as the song says. Toes, feet, hands and lives have been cut short.
Good lyrics.
Thanks for the comments, Philboyd.
 
It's a term.
I'm not sure of the origins of it, but was told once that 427 was an old steam engine that run on the UP, Union Pacific, back in the early 20th Century. Will Rogers used the term in an interview or a song. I don't remember.
It's just a bit of slang, meaning 'homeless and on the move'.
Not used much anymore.
 
Thanks for the info, neat story.

Like the one about Phoebe Snow, not the singer but the advertising symbol for a railroad that began to use a new 'smokeless' coal. Supposedly so clean that women could wear white.

The KATY was the Kansas and Texas narrow guage railroad based in Jefferson TX. When Jay Gould came through with his railroad I think in the 1870's the Jefferson folk felt they were happy with what they had so he made Dallas and the rest is history. In my great grandfather's time the KATY was also known for letting entertainers ride free to sing to the passengers make a little walking around money. The was quite a little circuit. My favorite was 'Ragtime' Henry Thomas who sang, played guitar and panpipes. Remember the group Canned Heat? He was their source. Henry would take bits of popular songs and mix them together (rags) and change the lyrics. This was before Scott Joplin popularized the term. There's one great song where he calls all the stops on an imaginary train ride. I can email a 64kbs mp3 if you want.
 
badgas,

Did you get that Henry Thomas song? He's the guy that wrote 'Bull Doze Blues' that Canned Heat covered note for note.
 
Philboyd.
Sorry for the long lag in replying, I just finished moving.

No. It hasn't arrived yet.
Possibly the mail I use won't accept a file that large.
Not sure, never sent one to myself to find out.
 
Lyric?

Badgas...
To write any lyric takes great skill. To write a great lyric...who knows!
But, you've written half a page about 'you' without any point.

In this ole' world (from a writer's point of view) no one is remotely interested in 'you'. Remember in this case the 'you' is a song-writer/ performer - there lies a possible point to the tale. Shall I sum it all up in two lines? Try this....

I'm a travellin' man, livin' dreams of gold,

but no one screams, when you're old.

Okay?
Good sentiment there, 'no one screams when you're old' and I've been milking' that for years! But use it if you wish.

The story has now been changed from one about 'you' (I) to one that the listener (or reader) can now identify with. How many people are there around that are too old to attract screaming (an audience)(or think they're too old! I'm 55 and do a one-manner with just an accy guitar and self-penned songs. Sell the sizzle not the sausage!)
rhs2000
(Written as friendly critisism - write-on Badgas!)
 
Umm, okay rhs2000, err, whatever.

If other people think you're even a fraction as brilliant as you think you are, you've got it made.

Nice lyric, badgas. The feeling reminds me a bit of "Willin" by Little Feat.

Looking forward to the mp3.

later --Tyler
 
Hi RHS.
Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner.
I read your post the other day and copied it. Then went to my song and recorded it on cassette. I waited till now to listen to my song for the first time.

I sat here for a few minutes and tried to clear the day's clutter from my mind. Then I listened to it as if I had never heard it before.
I do see what your saying. I heard it in my song too. There is not much there about direction.

Give me a few more days to mull this around and let me mess with the lyrics a bit.
Thanks for your suggestions, RHS. I deeply appreciate it.


TyleDude.
Thanks for the Little Feat compliment.
But I honestly think RHS is onto something in what he said. After I listened to the tape tonight, I was, I guess deflated.
There doesn't seem to be much to grab the listener and make a connection. I didn't feel anything when I listened to it.

Thanks again, guys.
Really.
 
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