3rd Song Uploaded - Please give a listen

[DigitalDon]

The 3rd song has been uploaded for band No Stigma on nowhereradio.com. Name of the song is "Temptation". Site is http://www.nowhereradio.com/artists/9/1292/singles.shtml
Comments of mix and song itself please.

For some reason the last 5 seconds of the song is chopped off. Have reloaded twice but seems to be a problem at the other end.

Lyrics are below.

Thanks,
DD

Lyrics are:

Look at me, and I
See your face, and I
Know that pain, and I
Know that shame, as I
Reach my hand, hope you
Understand, that the
Price is paid, and it’s
Not me, that you’re
Looking for, something
So much more, than I
Have to give, than I can
Ever live, but you
Got to know, that the
Way to go, is the
Son of God, is the
Son of God

Can’t you see that your
Tyranny is just
Killing me, and I
Cannot stay
I cannot stay, not a
Another day, not just
One more day, got to
Get away
I’ve got to get away

I can see, that
When we touch, it is
Just too much, yes it’s
Way too much, and if
We begin, in this
Carnal sin, it can
Mean your life, that’s a
Heavy price, and I
Know it seems, like a
Little fun, but if we’ve
Just begun, then we’re
On the run, it can
Mean your life, it can
Mean my life, I don’t
Want to pay, I don’t
Want to pay

Chorus

I’ve got to flee
I’ve got to get away

Chorus

I’ve got to get away
I’ve gotta go
I’ve got to get away

Copyright 2002 – Martin Fischer, Jr.; David Salas, Jr.; Jim Durham

 

[mixmkr]

I liked having the lyrics to read as I played the song. One thing I think might help, would be to come up with some phrasing slightly more different in the chorus..as it mimics the verses. I like the effect on the vocals...but maybe a tad overdone...reserve it for the chorus's?? some drum timing errors in there, and I'd take a punchier, more killer kit sound, if you can get it. You have a good vocal sound too...so don't feel you have to cover with effects. watch your pitch there though...as it strays a bit sometimes...punch-in that stuff..eh?? Put a solo over that bridge section too...k??

btw...I like you lyrical opinions too
nice tune...

 

[DigitalDon]

Thanks for the comments. I'm trying to help these guys get started because I think they have potential. Good guys too. They're still meshing things together so their sound is evolving. Just got in a drum mic kit today so I hope to get better sound and separation. As far as drum timing, it was really a frustrating weekend for the drummer. Also his first time at recording.

DD