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Good intro story, and the song looks like a good start but it still leaves me a little confused... Verse 1: For the second line, maybe something like "There lies...who soon will rule no more" ? "Strong and fruitful life" is something of a cliche, maybe more of a contrast of her strength then...

Hey Dave, haven't heard from you in a while. here's hoping things are still going well for you. Hopefully soon we can be back to colaborating... In case you're wondering, I'm doing all right, but my muse has gone quiet again for a while. Ah well...Say laH V.

I have a CD course that I bought online for about $200. Its called Singing Success and has the best reviews (from mulitple, independent sources) of any CD course I've seen. If you cant' find a good voice coach in person, perhaps you are self-disciplined enough to take full advantage of a good...

I like that line...also toying with "We'll be on cloud nine." As for music, I just recently downloaded the finest recording/songwriting software I can afford (i.e. I finally found some freeware) that I plan on installing and testing over the weekend. If it works decently, I plan on making...

Joneses "Take 3" Latest re-write, including bridge and re-arranging of last verse. KEEPING UP WITH THE JONESES. Male: I work two jobs all week long ‘Cause we have bills to pay When I get home, late at night I don’t have much to say I just want to watch TV And maybe get a drink Keeping up with...

EUREKA!! I told you I thought it was missing something, like a soup with too little salt. It needs a bridge! Not everything I write with a bridge actually needs it, so I kinda got out of the habit of adding them, especially since my songs tend to be long, anyway. But I actually do have a few...

With a response of "excellent", Cat can only be responding to my finished song.:D

First take of finished song for Keeping Up with the Joneses: KEEPING UP WITH THE JONESES. Male: I work two jobs all week long ‘Cause we have bills to pay When I get home, late at night I don’t have much to say I just want to watch TV And maybe get a drink Keeping up with the Joneses Is leaving...

So far, seems like a powerful piece, especially for a comedy. Only thing with me is I'm not sure how smoothly the last three words (they can't ignore) will come off. I'm a fan of musicals, myself and I'd love to see how this one turns out.

Thanks guys...this one is born out of a couple of things...one, my father was a workaholic back in the day, nearly destroyed his marriage; I've seen reflections of the workaholic mentality on the tv show "7 days to save our marriage" where the men spend so much time at work thinking they're...

The challenge is meant to stretch our limits on songwriting, while giving us the chance to give and receive constructing critism. Much to my embarassment, I had written the first part of my "duet" then life got so busy I haven't had a chance to complete the counterpart yet. For what its...

Anybody with any entries for this?:confused:

Mine is a spoof song with the same title. Kinda like what Wierd Al might do... Wouldn't It Be Nice Wouldn’t it be nice if you were faithful Instead of doing every guy you know And wouldn’t it be if you were classy Instead of some two-bit skanky ho. But you know I’m only dreaming I still wake...

Challenge addendum I think taking a pre-existing song and either changing it to a duet or changing it to the view point of another person should be acceptable as well. Duets don't have to be mixed gender...two guys/girls singing are still duets.

After looking at May's Challenge (which I am still working on), and a couple of other threads, I think June's Challenge could be something along the lines of writing a duet, or writing a song in both a male and female version. Whaddya think?

If any of you folks watch "Numbers" on TV, you'll see that there is some R"eal math" to the hit-o-meter. I mean we can all believe what we see on TV, right? even by someone who says "I'm not a mathematical genius, but I play one on TV." LOL

Thanks, folks! Thanks for all the great feedback on all the songs. As for mine, "When You Get to Where You're Going", here's some background on the lyrics. I'm sad to say that the song is based on an actual conversation. In fact, the convesation took place between myself and my new wife. We...

Interesting lyrics, tho less third person than even MY lyrics, which WAS the challenge for this month. That aside, I'm wondering about the title...since the song is less about a sewer and more like a circus, wouldn't it be more apt to call it "Circus Song" or even "Sewer Circus"? Just a thought.

Fine by me.

Thanks for the input, guys. I do have someone I collaborate with from time to time, actually met him here...Kudos to Dave Morehouse aka Upfiddler. But I know that Dave is a rather busy man in his own right, and lives WAAY up north from me, so communciation with him is limited to mostly email...