Jesus made you white

[Ashway]

White

I tried to make the bass more warm, less deep.
Also I made the vocals less nasal. And I skipped the aahs in the intro. Should I perhaps skip the chorusintro?
I reprogrammed the drums.
I've also added more warmth to the guitars and raised the volume on the background keys. (orchestra stuff)

Here is the new version: https://soundcloud.com/peter-d-jakobsen/white

The old for comparison: https://soundcloud.com/peter-d-jakobsen/jesus-made-you-white

. Any feedback greatly appreciated.

 

[Greg_L]

Great title

 

[JDOD]

Sounds good so far, very smiths. Haven't listened to it all cos my broadband supplier has fucked up and I am only on my mobile connection till next Thursday.

 

[Ashway]

Thanks a bunch ��

 

[Ashway]

JDOD: Thank you as well! What about the snaresound? Not too highendish in lack of better words?

 

[TripleM]

I thought the snare sounded OK. It was kind of highendish, but it was OK for this song. Lead vocal sounds good. I didn't care much for the vocal doing the "ahs" in the intro. Just to washed out in effects. Personal taste.

Drums are a little programmy though. The kick sound is a little sterile. To me it could use a little more low-midrange.

Little pop at 1:25.

The distorted guitar on the right sounds decent. But I'd like something with a little more low-lowmid to it.

Bass level was just about right to me - maybe just a tad louder. It's a bit indistinct - one note blends in to the next. Just in spots.

I'm a bit too negative. It was a pretty good mix.

 

[Schwarzenyaeger]

That bass is deep. It makes everything else seem a higher than it probably is. Not a criticism, just an observation.

The bass has a few muddy spots.
Really nice voice.
I enjoyed the very subtle keys in the background. I might bring them up 1dB though. If I hadn't been listening on my headphones, I probably wouldn't have even heard them.
The drums are somewhat far back.

 

[Ashway]

Thank you very much TripleM for the constructive critique. I agree about the drums. I need an electric drum kit instead of using the keyboard perhaps. Anyway.. I have much to learn. Bring it on!

 

[Bubba po]

Smiths? LOL, what planet? I couldn't make out a single one of the words, I'm afraid. This is a serious failing on a song with a message, in my opinion.

I'm not sure if your tags #rock pop #christian are ironic or not.

Give me a clue.

 

[Ashway]

Thanks Schwarzenyaeger! I'll check out the things you guys have been suggesting.

Bubba, hi! English isn't my primary language, so I guess muddy vocals is my trick to avoid anyone finding out.

It's not ironic though.. I probably have lots of spelling errors and wrong wordbuildups in there.. Still I feel Ive cranked the vocals though, so Im kinda baffled that you cant hear one single word or sentence...?

 

[Bubba po]

Thanks Schwarzenyaeger! I'll check out the things you guys have been suggesting.

Bubba, hi! English isn't my primary language, so I guess muddy vocals is my trick to avoid anyone finding out.

It's not ironic though.. I probably have lots of spelling errors and wrong wordbuildups in there.. Still I feel Ive cranked the vocals though, so Im kinda baffled that you cant hear one single word or sentence...?

Can you explain to me what point you are making in the lyric? "Jesus Made Me White" can't be a straightforward lyric, not in this day and age. It HAS to be ironic, given that Jesus was ethnically middle-eastern if he existed at all, which is extremely doubtful.

 

[Ashway]

Just got to say, Schwarzenyaeger. Im suprised you even noticed that orchestral keys in the background.

Bubba. I guess the lyric or verses are kinda meaningless. The sentence you are referring to though means that Jesus has made us clean and white as snow in his blood. I guess you already figured that out but are just busting my chains. Don't know if that's an expression but it sounded like one.

 

[Schwarzenyaeger]

I'm going to give you a heads up and tell you that 99% of people are going to take the name of your song as a racial and social commentary. Being "white" doesn't mean "pure" anymore, at least not in everyday life.
I at first thought that this would be an ironic song about white Americans doing bible things and I don't think that I was the only one.

 

[Greg_L]

White power!

 

[Bubba po]

Bubba. I guess the lyric or verses are kinda meaningless. The sentence you are referring to though means that Jesus has made us clean and white as snow in his blood. I guess you already figured that out but are just busting my chains. Don't know if that's an expression but it sounded like one.

I'm going to assume that English as a second (or third?) language is the problem, here. Christianity in the western world has been hijacked by the White Right. think Ku Klux Klan, not purity. I didn't get your intended meaning from your lyric, which I couldn't hear, anyway. You shouldn't make your lyrics meaningless if you have a point to put across.

Why am I even saying this? It's evident to anybody.

 

[dobro]

The vocal isn't as clear and prominent as it deserves to be. I think Bubba Po might be exaggerating slightly, but I think he's right about the vocal being a bit buried. It needs to be turned up.

Jesus has made you white
You're free to go
Although you were black as night
He made you white as snow

See, I made them out.

It's a beautiful song with a beautiful delivery, and the mix is pretty good. My one suggestion would be to get a real drummer to do this one, because the present drum sound is pretty ticky tacky, and in parts the drum part and the other tracks aren't completely in synch - a live drummer would avoid that. So yeah, get a real drummer. Ask Greg. He likes to do Christian tunes about white people.

 

[anoopbal]

Nice tune!

just curious, do you have a desser in there for the vocals?

 

[Armistice]

I think you really need to work on those drums. It's not hard to program drums to sound better that you've currently got them... bit more variation in velocity here and there, because right at the very start with the snare it's really obvious they're programmed and so I tended not to be able to get past that... and FWIW I think the snare sound is a bit "soft" - not as in volume, but it needs a bit more "snap" to it...

Otherwise sounds pretty good, mix-wise, to me.

 

[Ashway]

In the back of my head there were probably a few brain cells telling me that you guys were talking about racial stuff but you had to spell it out since the idea of this title being a problem was really buried in my head. Darn...

So may I still sing the lyric and change the title?

There is a Christian hymn sung by famous hillsong called "nothing but the blood of Jesus"
going like this ; Oh! Precious is the flow. That makes me white as snow; No other fount I
know, Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

 

[Ashway]

Nice tune!

just curious, do you have a desser in there for the vocals?

Thanks! I never use de-essers. I probably should though.