These Borrowed Bones, I'll Make Them My Own

E

esull1985

New member
Comments? Pleaseeeee. Negative or positive.

These Borrowed Bones, I'll Make Them My Own

[verse 1]
These borrowed bones,
I'll make them my own.
I'll strip the old, paint a new coat,
and finally call them my home.

[verse2]
And when I talk,
they think you're living dead.
The shape of my hands, the slant of my eyes,
the size of my head.

[bridge]
And I know for now I'm just borrowed bones,
living in your past, you're old run down home,
but someday I'll, someday I will...

[chorus]
I'll make them my own,
these borrowed bones.
Yeah, these borrowed bones,
I'll bleach them white, to a brand new sight,
and call them my own.

[verse3]
And when I talk,
they'll know who I am.
And when I smile,
they won't say you're name.

[outro]
These bones of mine,
they'll stand up straight,
someday.
 
really nice lyrics, they stand alone very well. it would be good to hear them set to the music though, and if the music is half as good then your future is bright.
 
Not bad...

I really like the phrase "borrowed bones" a lot.

The verses are pretty straightforward, so if it were my song I'd probably look for more perfect rhymes instead of the false rhymes you used on two of them.

A
www.aaroncheney.com
 
They sound really good to me actually. A couple of phrasing issues here and there, but the actual imagery is pretty good.

What sort of music can your hear this set to? I can already hear something in my head.
 
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