Slaves Of The Truth Are Free

Z

ZzEeAaLl

New member
SLAVES OF THE TRUTH ARE FREE

© Buck Stewart
November 2005

Alien residents in a foreign land
Parched throats, dust on their feet
A spectacle to the world
As wisdom cries out in the street

Whispers kiss my mind
Echoing from some ancient time
In the mirrors of history, unseen certitude and hope
Emotion and knowledge agree
Slaves of the Truth are free

The debaters of this system of things
Warm sheol for the end
Wheels of war are turning
A hissing sound just around the bend

Whispers kiss my mind
Echoing from some ancient time
In the mirrors of history, unseen certitude and hope
Emotion and knowledge agree
Slaves of the Truth are free

The times of the nations has run out
Who dares to consider it all
Snatch victory from the jaws of defeat
The hand writing is on the wall

The prophets trump philosophy
The Truth does not change, the Truth does not change
In step with eternity
Oh, oh ecstasy,
Slaves of the Truth, are free

Whispers kiss my mind
Echoing from some ancient time
In the mirrors of history, unseen certitude and hope
Emotion and knowledge agree
Slaves of the Truth are free

Oh, oh ecstasy,
Slaves of the Truth, are free
 
I assume you're asking for critiques...


Is this about religion? The hook line seems to refer to "and the Truth shall set you free". Personally, I really like where this sits in the obvious-ambigous spectrum (and I think it leans in the ambiguous direction) - however, I'm a big fan of Enigma/Delerium, etc. - I have no idea what genre/target audience you have.

I like the overall structure - I do have problems with a few specific lines, though.

"Alien residents in a foreign land" - alien and resident are at odds with each other - the title of the song is, too, but that seems very intentional, and is enough contradiciton to think about. Really, neither word works in the vibe of the song - I'd much prefer "Nomads in a foreign land".

"Echoing from some ancient time" - kind of a cliche (I know I've heard "echoing down the halls of time" somewhere...) - this song has kind of a deep/intelectual vibe to it, and that puts you at risk of sounding pompous - I think that makes cliches all the more damaging.

"Snatch victory from the jaws of defeat" - same thing - too cliche - and "snatch" doesn't fit with the vibe.

"hand writing" on the wall - this cliche doesn't bother me (don't know why, but it works) - I'm used to hearing it without the "hand" though, and this throws me off.



Those are my thoughts - feel free to ignore them.
 
LFO, thanks for your imput. I'll give some thought to your suggestions.

ibleedburgundy, is that a song?

Buck
 
ZzEeAaLl said:
LFO, thanks for your imput. I'll give some thought to your suggestions.

ibleedburgundy, is that a song?

Buck
Click to expand...


NO, that's my brother's old crappy highschool band. They were hilarious.
 
Hi Buck, What style do you think you would do this song in. I'm a slave to the truth, could be a good song...............Barb
 
I really like that, and i dont like a lot of what i have read in the songwriting board. Its funny though because as i read it i heard U2 playing it. Reminds of Radiohead's paranoid Android for some reason and that is one of my favourite songs.
 
im not really into . . . whatever type of music U2 is a part of -- although i have been moved by a few of their songs.

I like the "im a slave to the truth" declaration though. IT makes me think of a hip hop/rock hybrid type of song . . . like RUN DMC waaay back or more like . . . shux who is that group that has made a splash with some "rap" type lyrics being sung -- not kidrock but . . . LINKIN PARK . . . ?
 
"In the mirrors of history, unseen certitude and hope "

I have no idea what the word "certitude" means and it's used a number of times.

"Warm sheol for the end"

I don't know what "sheol" is either...

Years ago, there was a group on Howard Stern by the name of the Jesus Twins. They had executives come in and critique their performance. One of the critcizms was that they were using words that seemed like they were taken out of an "improve your vocabulary" workbook. Unless the song can stand on its own without lyrics (a good musical hook), words I don't recognize turn me off.Just an opinion...

J.P.l
 
Thanks sweetpee. I appreciate your imput. I've heard songs that have words I don't know and they make me interested in finding out what they mean if the rest of the song speakes to me in some way. I'm not too worried about it to tell the truth, but maybe I should be. Certitude means something that's certain, sheol is the common grave of mankind. On a different board one person thanked me for introducing him to a new word. He had never heard of sheol. But I think you have a valid point. It will be a problem for some.
Thanks again for taking the time to share your thoughts.
Buck
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top