My newest tune "The Blue Horizon"

Strat1958

Strat1958

Late-blooming songwriter!
I know I just posted a tune 2 weeks ago, and I don't want to overstay my welcome - but I was inspired to write another song very quickly after the last, and I got it on tape before I lost the motivation behind writing it!

This is proof that you can be inspired to write a song by just about ANYTHING ;)

If you have Windows XP, you are familiar with the pictures available as your desktop background. One of the pics is a tiny tropical island, with a cluster of coconut palms on white sand. There is a sailboat entering the frame at the left.

One day I was looking at it, and a story quickly formed in my mind (it didn't hurt that I had been listening to a lot of Jimmy Buffett over the previous few days). I typed out some ideas, made them rhyme, then the next day sat down and recorded it.

This is the result - a little rough around the edges - but my wife says it's already her favourite song of mine. It's meant to evoke a very lazy feel, being in no hurry, taking your time.

GZ, for you I purposely mixed things up a little. I threw in a few chord changes that are 'unpredictable', and I started the song on the chorus. But not by singing the chorus; by playing a slide guitar right out of the gate, then singing the chorus.

Hope you like it, and I hope it brings imagery to your mind......

The Blue Horizon

THE BLUE HORIZON Copyright 2009 by Mike Pilling

[Solo intro…]
[CH]
The blue horizon
Is calling me
The sun is risin’
On a distant sea

A clear blue ocean
With sky above
Feel the motion
Feel the love

[V1]
Daydreaming all about sailing
Cool fresh wind on my face
Coconut palms on the white sand
Lose the rat race

Soon we'll be cutting a clean wake
Sails all full of the breeze
Real world just made a clean break
Alone on the seas

[CH]

[V2]
As we push for our destination
The copper sun disappears
The distant joy of calypso
Starts to fill our ears

A smiling man, he takes the lines
Walks us up to the town
Some rum, some lime, some coconut wine
Good times all around

[BR]
The moon, the waves, the streets don't have names
No-one demands a thing
At sunrise we'll head back out to sea
And see what tomorrow brings

[CH]
[Solo & fade]
 
The lyrics readily conjure up a tranquil, tropical torpor . . . a relaxed, easy-going laze in the sun . . . great work.

The song does justice to the lyrics . . . it strolls along in a carefree way.

I note the start on the chorus . . . a nice change from more conventional arrangements! I also liked the chords you used on 'clear blue ocean' and 'with sky above', again an interesting departure from the conventional . . . and possibly a bit George Harrison-ish. While on the subject of interesting chords, I wonder what you would think about trying an Ab diminished (Ab B D F) or a D augmented (D F# A#) on "is calling me". Both have a D in them which allows you to preserve your melody line, but both give a different push to that part of the song.

Two points of slight discontent for me. I thought the lead guitar was a bit too dry, and I would have like to have floated that on a larger bed of reverb to keep it in line with that tropical feeling . . . at the moment its edges are a bit hard. There is an organ that comes in towards the end of the song, vaguely Hammond-ish, and likewise, I would have liked to have heard that as a stereo sound, rather than a mono; again to add more space.

One thing you might like to try is to ditch the conventional kit for this track, and add a more eccentric percussion. For example, you could hit a cardboard box, use shakers, play a pair of bongoes . . . whatever you can lay your hands on or invent.

But for all that . . . a pleasant song, well performed, well sung, and very evocative of that tropical tranquility!
 
Not gonna read Gekko's until after write this, so not persuaded by any comments that others (justifyibly make.)

Okay, first impression as I listen - pink flloyd's original singer guy, laid back and meaningful voice -
Phrases very much like Roger Waters

The synth sounds like their guy, Mason? too.

Damn, finished early.
Stop cutting out at precisely 3 minutes!, okay?
Ha hrar, it came in again a little thought it was a refrain.

Sorry abhout the spelling, I'm a bit drunk. Dealing with the blues in reality with good family in laws.

Now, I like (You Need a) Friend better. From first impression? Umm, I just like Friends a lot. In fact, going to My Artist page to hear it again.

'Just tell me ...'
What's the missing word, 'do'? 'true'?

Sorry, changed subject, 'Oh yeah.'

Now, to skip above aND READ WJAT Gekko writes.
 
I'm picking thru the music page ..
'Goodbye My Friend' starts off strong. And stays there a long while. All the while. I like that.

Can I aar, cover this?

Good song.

Have you got the publisher route activated yet? Like Taxi .. Not a recommendation, just a thought.

I reckon there are a couple of sales here.
 
About Blue Horizon: I think the vocal should be sustained on the verses. So, the last note carried thru for a few seconds up to the next verse.
Where are you delightful harmonies on those lines??

Gat lead: Calypso like. But, as Gekks says, too dry. But then the song ends. Not satisfied as was with some of your other tunes, tunes that stand out more.
 
nzausrec said:
I'm picking thru the music page ..
'Goodbye My Friend' starts off strong. And stays there a long while. All the while. I like that.

Can I aar, cover this?

Good song.

Have you got the publisher route activated yet? Like Taxi .. Not a recommendation, just a thought.

I reckon there are a couple of sales here.
Click to expand...
Nothing would make me feel more humble than hearing someone else cover one of my songs. Please go ahead and do it, with my utter and complete blessing.

Somewhere down the road, I may look at a way to make money at it, but for now I see it as a gift I have - and gifts are meant to be given away.

Besides, I have a "real" job that pays me obscenely well, so I'd love to keep this a hobby.
 
GZ, thanks to you as well. I take everyone's comments seriously, but you give constructive criticism designed only to help your mates improve.

I must admit that there is a George Harrison influence here, and it is intentional, but it wasn't on the chord changes (though, listening back, I see what you mean). I purposely made the slide guitar absolutely dry, to counteract the airy vocals and guitar. You will likely remember George did a lot of that, especially on "Cloud Nine".

I like your idea of bongoes and marraccas. I'll inject a bit of that on a remix and see how it flies.

I also like the thought of using diminished and augmented chords. I'm gonna start keeping that front-of-mind on future songs.

Thanks for your ideas and feedback!!
 
Hi, yes I like it... Are you using Jamstudio on this-a one, and if so, which bits (just out of interest).

Thanks for the tip about Jamstudio, I did try it in fact and it sounded funny to me at the time, so I didn't pursue it, but I'll take another look. BIAB does look complex, I must admit...

Back to Blue Horizon. I am not one to suggest chords and stuff to try, but there were some nice changes in there. What I'd do with this song, if I were you, is rewrite, rewrite & rewrite to turn what is a pleasant song (as Mr Gecko, he say) into a great song, because this one has the potential to be great.

Also, it reminded me a little of Peter Green's Fleetwood Mac circa. 1970 but with a positive vibe. If Pete Green had written this track, he would have gone for the melancholy angle (as would I, if this track were mine).

If you don't know Pete Green's songs (you probably do..) but 'Man of the World', 'Albatros' and the whole of the 'Then Play On' album really are worth a listen.

Blue Horizon: A worthy effort mate... good lyric, good song and worth a rewrite, rewrite, rewrite/re-record to take it even further.

Fx :-)
 
Frankie Rage said:
Hi, yes I like it... Are you using Jamstudio on this-a one, and if so, which bits (just out of interest).
Click to expand...

My guess is that the song used Jamstudio as a basis. There is that hallmark consistency of backing which is highly suggestive of this.

I've never used Jamstudio, but I've heard a number of creations based on it, and my main criticism of it is that it tends to produce a sameness throughout the song. It seems to be difficult to inject significant changes into it. However, as I've noted elsewhere . . . you work with what you've got . . .so I didn't comment on that. Additionally, sometimes it is just right for the song. If I were to do a cover of this song I think I would incorporate hypnotic relentlessness.

Which leads me to a train of thought. If Strat reads this and is okay with it, I am tempted to do a cover of it . . . but I wouldn't mind having a rough chord chart. (I could work them out, but it's easier for someone to just tell me!)
 
GZ, I would be honoured if you covered this. Your gravelly voice will add a nice dimension to the song.

Here are the chords...pretty simple.

THE BLUE HORIZON Copyright 2009 by Mike Pilling

[Solo intro…] G/// G/// Am/// G/// Bm/// Dm7/// Am7/// G///
[CH]
The blue horizon G///
Is calling me G///
The sun is risin’ Am///
On a distant sea G///

A clear blue ocean Bm///
With sky above Dm7///
Feel the motion Am7///
Feel the love G///

[V1]
Daydreaming all about sailing G///
Cool fresh wind on my face Am///
Coconut palms on the white sand D7///
Lose the rat race G///

Soon we'll be cutting a clean wake Bm///
Sails all full of the breeze Am///
Real world just made a clean break Em///
Alone on the seas D///

[CH]

[V2]
As we push for our destination
The copper sun disappears
The distant joy of calypso
Starts to fill our ears

A smiling man, he takes the lines
Walks us up to the town
Some rum, some lime, some coconut wine
Good times all around

[BR]
The moon, the waves, the streets don't have names Em///
No-one demands a thing Dm7///
At sunrise we'll head back out to sea C///
And see what tomorrow brings D///

[CH]
[Solo & fade]
 
And yes, I did use Jamstudio for the drums, bass, steel drums and high mandolin-like guitar. I do have a Fender bass and 2 great drum machines, but JS is so stupidly easy that I use it for the bed tracks on almost all of my songs.

Click the chords, pick your instruments, then save the whole mess: There's your song.

But you are right, there is zero flexibility with JS - what you get is what you get!

-Mike
 
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Interesting about JamStudio. I did try it as I said, a few months ago when I first came on this site proper. What I didn't like then was the changes. I'd ask for G and get it and then D or whatever, but the changeover between chords sounded odd to me.

Maybe BIAB will be a bit more flexible (if complex) but Mike, I'll try JamStudio properly now I've heard Blue Horizon! I have downloaded your song and have been playing it for my listening pleasure! I'll probably be playing it on my Hayman Comet 6 string electric (name dropping!!!) and Stagg shortscale bass in due course. In my musical heyday around 1978, I did have a Rickenbacker 480 6 string and a Fender Mustang bass! Sigh! Long gone and I loved those bits of wood, plastic and metal with a passion fierce!

Btw I did listen to the next three tracks directly after Blue Horizon on your Soundclick page. I must say that they were well done but did not have the same potential (for me) as The Blue Horizon. I shall be interested to hear Mr Gecko's version, as I am a fan of his!

Btw I too am paid obscenely in my day job, but not in a good way!

Are you a politician or banker, perchance (see UK news 2008/9):D

Thanks once again, re JS...:)

Fx
 
gecko zzed said:
My guess is that the song used Jamstudio as a basis. There is that hallmark consistency of backing which is highly suggestive of this.

I've never used Jamstudio, but I've heard a number of creations based on it, and my main criticism of it is that it tends to produce a sameness throughout the song. It seems to be difficult to inject significant changes into it.
Click to expand...

That's a good point about Jamstudio, Mike, but for (a) those with weak instrumentation skills, or (b) those who want to record the basic idea for a demo in an expedient way, Jamstudio works. I use it for both reasons, but I speak for myself only. Mike (Strat1958) probably only uses it for the latter reason, because he is actually a good musician. He may wish to comment further on why he uses JS.

As for myself, I see the Jamstudio process as a stepping stone; and intermediate, early step in the creation process. Most songwriters who use it want to eventually advance their songs further, using real musicians. When I say "advance their songs further," I mean by ultimately replacing the Jamstudio recording with real musicians who can make the song sound authentic and vibrant, as opposed to artificial and mechanical. To that end, the Jamstudio demo serves only as a template for a "real" song.

Please do not take this as a defensive post, Mike, I merely wanted to acknowledge that I agree with your criticisms of Jamstudio, but it does function as an important step in the creation process for some with less skills and/or less time.

BTW, I would love to have your talent and skills, my friend! :)

Cheers,
Joseph

(still "crap ass busy"!)
 
What a nice song. I am glad to see/hear that there are still others out there doing the genres of music that I still love.

Certainly I realize that your song is not a fully produced or finished product. But it has a whole lot of potential. And I really think with the right production on the backing tracks/ harmonies and just the right microphone on your voice, you would sound great on it. I am impressed.

Danny
 
icystorm said:
That's a good point about Jamstudio, Mike, but for (a) those with weak instrumentation skills, or (b) those who want to record the basic idea for a demo in an expedient way, Jamstudio works. I use it for both reasons, but I speak for myself only. Mike (Strat1958) probably only uses it for the latter reason, because he is actually a good musician. He may wish to comment further on why he uses JS.

As for myself, I see the Jamstudio process as a stepping stone; and intermediate, early step in the creation process. Most songwriters who use it want to eventually advance their songs further, using real musicians. When I say "advance their songs further," I mean by ultimately replacing the Jamstudio recording with real musicians who can make the song sound authentic and vibrant, as opposed to artificial and mechanical. To that end, the Jamstudio demo serves only as a template for a "real" song.

Please do not take this as a defensive post, Mike, I merely wanted to acknowledge that I agree with your criticisms of Jamstudio, but it does function as an important step in the creation process for some with less skills and/or less time.

BTW, I would love to have your talent and skills, my friend! :)

Cheers,
Joseph

(still "crap ass busy"!)
Click to expand...

I've no objection to JamStudio, nor do I see your post as being defensive. It harkens back to a couple of points I made in the past:

a) we do the best we can with what we've got; and

b) some music applications have their characteristic 'signatures', as well as the way they organise their work flows, which carries through to the end product.
 
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