another lyric

T

tweedledee

New member
a lullaby (copywrite 2007, subject to all copywrite laws)




Night's Lullaby



stars high above

twinkle in silence

as moonlight in silver

caresses the world



soft autumn breeze

at windows

she whispers

Hush,Hush

and dream


all of the lonliness

haunting your days

dreams now befriend you

and lonliness fades

sadness may melt

into night's lullaby

it sings

to your mind



pure is the voice

you feel in your heart as

trees gently sway

in harmony

this time is yours

the silent song whispers

Hush, Hush

your pain



all of the walls that

your heart builds by day
in darkness they crumble

defenses may fade

here you are safe

within night's lullaby

it songs

in your mind



(bridge)



feel at peace now

lay down your burdens

and sleep

rest 'til sunrise

wakes you

in bright symphony





all of the hope that

the night gives your heart

bring it to morning and

find a new start

carry
always

with you night's lullaby

it sings......................



night falls again

at my window

she whispers

Hush,Hush

my pain
 
I like them. They are sad and lonely, and I imagine them to a similar, romantic tune to your last one.

Towards the end, you have a sign of hope - a new day. It would be nice to finish maintaining that hopefulness. The last few lines take us straight back to the pain, however. I'm not sure if that is deliberate or not.
 
it was deliberate. . it is both sad and happy. i wrote it because i fond night time, my alone time to be the best part fot he day for refelecting, songwritng, corresponding but sometimes that refelction leads me to refelct on how lonely my life is and i plan all the things i will do the next day to change it but i don't do them, but the thing is the quiet time is comforting and saddening all at once.

don't worry. i am in the priocess of a faster paced happy tune called beautiful day that pretty much continues where this one leaves off so that should make up for it.
 
Wonderful job. I have a melody coursing through my brain for this one as I read it. I might tweak the line "Hush, hush, my pain" since it makes me uncomfortable but I realise that it is central to what you are trying to say. I truly think that the first 17 lines of this one are the best work we've seen from you. Nice job.
 
up-fiddler said:
Wonderful job. I have a melody coursing through my brain for this one as I read it. I might tweak the line "Hush, hush, my pain" since it makes me uncomfortable but I realise that it is central to what you are trying to say. I truly think that the first 17 lines of this one are the best work we've seen from you. Nice job.
Click to expand...
best work you've seen from me? you've only seen one other song! but thanx. i'll see what i can twek. i am a lousy tweaker though. once something gets stuck in my head i fidn it hard to replace it but i will set it aside and work on it when the inspiration finds me.
 
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