Critique on my new song?

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pewterbird99

New member
I just finished writing a new song called "Love Me" hear it at www.myspace.com/danielsmithrock and wanted you guys to critique the songwriting. I wrote it with a "movie soundtrack" kinda feel which to me means a big chorus. My technique for the structure in this song was to build up to the chorus quickly and hit you in the face with it. Then for the second verse I built it up with a lead in the "I need you" part just to give it more dynamics. For the break I wanted to keep the energy flowing until I dropped it off for the lead in again. Then I let it slam out for the last chorus. As far as lyrics I wanted to make it a more "raw" emotion type of song leaving out a lot of the metaphors. You can see the lyrics in the myspace player. I would appreciate any thoughts on the song.

Thanks

-Daniel
 
Look it's not a style I'm particularly fond of, but I think you should throw out your autotune plug in and just sing if you want to convey emotion. All sounds a bit robotic to me.

That said, you do have a good idea of how to structure a song, so props for that..

Good luck
 
Thanks, I used Melodyne by the way. I like the more robotic sound of the vocals on occasion kinda like Owl City. It's getting a little worn out but I'll do it until I get bored of it then move on to something else...
 
It's a really well structured song and the hook works well, good work. There's no doubt that you have achieved that 'movie soundtrack' feel, subsequently, the lyrics work well in this song.

Honestly, I don't think they are revolutionary, but what they are is solid. They convey emotion and let the listener engage easily. Will they win prizes for originality? Unlikely, but when you consider the type of listener a song like this will attract and the context of the song, then you've made something really successful.
 
apamallard said:
It's a really well structured song and the hook works well, good work. There's no doubt that you have achieved that 'movie soundtrack' feel, subsequently, the lyrics work well in this song.

Honestly, I don't think they are revolutionary, but what they are is solid. They convey emotion and let the listener engage easily. Will they win prizes for originality? Unlikely, but when you consider the type of listener a song like this will attract and the context of the song, then you've made something really successful.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the response apamallard. It's interesting that you point out the lyrics in this song. I usually like to write with a lot of metaphors (check out the lyrics for my song soilders) but for this song there was something "raw" about it. It had an almost "say what you mean and just yell it out" feel to it. For some reason it just felt right for this song to go that route. I agree they're not original but I think they convey the emotion well.
 
These songs are sorta finished and mixed. i guess you're asking us so you'll take these in consideration for your future songs?

it's great radio stuff. i don't listen to the radio though. it seems you nailed what you're shooting for.

this is a comment for all the threads and songs you're wanting to get feedback on.

i can't even talk about your lyrics really, because radio would eat it up and love it. just keep doing your thing i guess.
 
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