It's a good beginning. Your second guitar - the slower one - is out of step with the drums. The first guitar may be a hair out of step too.
Tbh I'm not noticing this "horribly out of time" everyone's talking about ahah. I think I played to the track, I'll play with a metronome.
This is going to sound tougher than it should maybe.......but it's crucial that you are able to pick out the timing issues in your song before you go any further. If you're not able to do that.......things will only get exponentially worse as you go. I assume the drumbeat in your tune was programmed right? That could serve as your metronome. You can do it........concentrate carefully and you'll hear the issues.
For me the thing that really spoils it is, as everyone is saying, the timing is pretty poor. I suspected at first it was sequenced, or entered a note at a time on a guitar sound - because the guitar plays dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum - with each note exactly the same length, with the same attack and overall exactly the same envelope. No different tones as the pick/finger nail hits the string at different angles and small differences in volume. Sometimes the two similar guitars play the same note, but at slightly different times - which sounds like a mistake by one of them. The voice is singing some very unpredictable notes. Harmony has quite a few 'rules' - that let the listener predict the next note that is coming, and this doesn't follow them. You can break the rules, once you know them in the first place. The result is the guitars and the vocal line creating very unusual chords. The combination of the guitars at the 50 sec-ish mark where one guitar suddenly changes the notes to ones that make you squirm really needs fixing - it just sounds like the guitarist was playing the wrong notes.
Sadly - I think the song is a non-starter I'm afraid. It's difficult to listen to and in places just sounds random. In your head, what chords were you actually creating, and what was the melody doing? Taking you on a musical journey, or just a loop that crosses over the loops the two guitars were playing, also quite independently?
When you say 'experimental' - I thought it would somehow evolve, but it's too random in so many areas.
.. But seriously how is the timing off? I've checked in the program and everything seems to be on the grid. Here's the audio with only the drums and guitar, if you listen to the drums you can hear kick, snare+kick four times.
Gridwise it's on time...
Listening to your Menace, and Again.. there are no drums and your vocal keeps fairly good time with your guitar strumming. So it doesn't appear to be that you yourself can't keep time.
Ya know.. something that MIGHT explain why you hear it in time and we don't .. maybe.. perhaps there is a latency problem
somewhere. I don't know - it's a long shot.
I'm afraid not. When the guitar comes in, it's in time for a few beats then drifts off again. When you begin to sing I think the vocal may be in time with the drums but the guitar being way off is just eating it up. Vocal could be off a little too, but I can't tell from here.
I don't believe you mentioned what DAW or equipment you're using.
I'm using Reaper as my DAW to record, so I found some info related to Reaper and this problem - you could just substitute your DAW's name for Reaper in this as it appears to be a common problem across platforms. You'll have to read your manuals to see how to make your adjustments.
Read this : How to deal with interface latency (delay/lag) - Cockos Incorporated Forums