To You I'll Turn

R

Robus

Well-known member
New song. So far I've been working on balancing levels of lead and harmony vocals, and between the lead vocal and doubles.

All comments appreciated. Anyone who would like to try a lead vocal take, standing invitation. Thanks!

New Mix:



To You I'll Turn

Hey hey brother
You’re a long time away
But we got us a code
And it don’t sway
Says we’re gonna stand together
We who bleed got to band together
Where else will we turn to?
What else can we do?
To you I’ll turn when I’m falling

Hey hey brother
We were shot out of one barrel
Though the target is one that none
Can understand
But each man that is born got a certain knowing
Like a thorn in his soul
That keep on growing
Until he lift that soul up high
To you I’ll turn when I’m falling

Come on brother
We see how it’s spinning
Game’s for keeps in the seventh inning
Should we celebrate, be thrown out at the plate
We have stood on this planet together
A righteous hand in need and a brother
Let them stars record that if they do

Hey hey brother
We have fought out every battle
In a world that was give us by better men than we
And their blood dug up those prairie stones
Or washed down that old Mekong
It’s given us to soldier on
To you I’ll turn when I’m falling.

Words and Music Ray Taylor 2016
 
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Levels sound pretty good, I'd bring down the lead git on the right a hair, or maybe (instead) bring rhythm gits up a hair. Seems there's a lot of stuff panned off to the sides, but center elements aren't quite as present or something. Some good ideas regardless.

Here's my plan: Add something to capture the listeners' attention, some loud wah gits, maybe redo the vocals so they sound a less lethargic, add some twists and turns to the arrangement so it's not the same repeating feet-dragging dirge 3-4 times and out. Add a hyper-arranged instrumental section, then hire Mark Knopfler to play on it, and you're good! ;)
 
I listened on headphones HD 560 for reference. Sounded very balanced.

The vocals sounded like they fit. My only comment on them seems they are not relaxed or you could loosen them up a bit and smooth them out. But the vocals aren't bad. Maybe a few more goes at them to make them feel like an old glove. Maybe even try an octave lower.
 
Sounds nice, I might bring down the guitar that comes in on the right around 2:00 And the one on the left around 3:20. They seem a little loud on my headphones. Great lyrics.
 
fat_fleet said:
Here's my plan: Add something to capture the listeners' attention, some loud wah gits, maybe redo the vocals so they sound a less lethargic, add some twists and turns to the arrangement so it's not the same repeating feet-dragging dirge 3-4 times and out. Add a hyper-arranged instrumental section, then hire Mark Knopfler to play on it, and you're good! ;)
Click to expand...

Better yet, we'll take the best bits of my latest song and yours, mash them together into a 2:50 pure pop gem, hire Warren Haynes to do the guitars and Justin Timberlake to do the vocals, and split the millions in royalties. It'll work! :guitar:
 
"Rami" - gets me every time.


the second "to you i turn" gets a little buried in the guitars. very nice little tidbits here and there, those little fillers work very well. great tone to them - this is what i was most impressed with. fillers can be difficult to manage, but you picked some great ones here. love the "dueling" guitars closer to the end. they might be a scratch too loud, but this all works very well. great fade out, like that you included the vocal in it for a split second there, that gives it an authentic, live feel. i'm really impressed here.

nice job Ray
 
Fat_feet: Yeah, unless I'm forgetting something pretty much all the rhythm guitars are panned left, blended into a kind of pad, and set low in the mix. The idea was to leave the center of the mix as open as possible for the lead and harmony vocals, and that electric piano that comes and goes. As the keys and harmony vox are intermittent, there's not much in the middle besides the lead vocal for some parts of the song. Last few songs, I've been experimenting to see how much I can leave the center open. Maybe overdone it a bit?

Easlern: Yeah, I'm thinking the lead guitars could come down. There might be another take for that solo at the end, especially the Strat on the left.

Music Box: Thanks!

Phil: Thanks bro! Thought you'd given up on me.

Andruskiwt: Rami...yeah, I know.... That's an old internet name I've used for years, based on my initials. I started that Soundcloud account before I joined this forum or had heard of the illustrious member by that name. I would ditch that Soundcloud account and start a new one with a different user name, but I've got a number of songs posted there now. Maybe time to do it all the same. Thanks regarding the guitar fills. You're no slouch on guitar, so your appreciation carries weight. More and more, I'm interested in fills rather than straight up guitar leads. I keep paring the guitar parts down to make them simple, direct, and hopefully melodic.

DM60: I'll be doing another vocal take for sure. This one was the outcome of the songwriting process, comped together from about ten different takes trying out various phrasing and melody lines. The song is brand new, written and recorded over the past two weeks. Once I've heard it a few more times, I should be able to pull off a more confident take. My vocal range is too limited to go down an octave; I'd have to transpose to get lower. Currently it's in D minor/F, usually one of my better keys.
 
Robus said:
DM60: I'll be doing another vocal take for sure. This one was the outcome of the songwriting process, comped together from about ten different takes trying out various phrasing and melody lines. The song is brand new, written and recorded over the past two weeks. Once I've heard it a few more times, I should be able to pull off a more confident take. My vocal range is too limited to go down an octave; I'd have to transpose to get lower. Currently it's in D minor/F, usually one of my better keys.
Click to expand...

I used the wrong term, a lower frequency range is closer to what I meant. In the middle C range would seem to fit your voice as that higher pitch is usually reserved for younger singers.

Is there another term for that? C1, C2, C3 etc.
 
Robus said:
Fat_feet: Yeah, unless I'm forgetting something pretty much all the rhythm guitars are panned left, blended into a kind of pad, and set low in the mix. The idea was to leave the center of the mix as open as possible for the lead and harmony vocals, and that electric piano that comes and goes. As the keys and harmony vox are intermittent, there's not much in the middle besides the lead vocal for some parts of the song. Last few songs, I've been experimenting to see how much I can leave the center open. Maybe overdone it a bit?
Click to expand...

Well, see, I'm partial to bizarro 60s, lofi, and underground stuff where, say, the entire drum kit's on one side and everything else is lurching from side to side, buried vox etc. Far more eccentric than your mix. To me, performances and ideas are more important, but I try to base my feedback on the "polished modern mix" aesthetic I suspect you and others are after.
 
I dig that stuff too fleet, in the right mood. Just not the kind of music I'm making these days. I'm not down with what I think of as the "modern mix"--too much limiting and compression, and too much stuff crammed into the mix. What I'd like to achieve is a mix that has space in it, even if it means pushing the guitars to one side.
 
Great song Robus. The arrangement is really good and the playing is as tight as a tick. very nice guitar work and tones. I'm listening on my alpine stereo in my pickup...on the drive home from work. I kind of got lost in the tune and was thinking "man that guitar sounds good, I haven't heard this on the radio before". Then I remembered I was listening to your song. LMAO.

Very nice fade and a really great mix IMO.
fantastic work man!
 
Gotta be honest, I don't think this is your best effort.

What effects do you have on the vocal? They have a little hollowness and swishiness to them. The levels on the lead vocal could be better tamed.

The synth patch and the vocal are competing with each other.

I think the bass is too loud. It's also a bit clean sounding. Needs some low-midrange to warm it up - like the 500hz - 1000hz range.

The clean-ish guitar solos near the end really jump out. They're a little too bite-ing.

Sorry to be so critical. But I've heard you do much better.
 
Thanks TM. You're probably hearing some flanging between the lead vocal and the double. It's a troublesome issue. I may dump the double if I can get a better take on the lead vocal. By synth patch I assume you mean that electric piano thing. Yeah, it's a bit in the way. Something to sort out for the next mix. Those clean guitars will be coming down as well. I didn't think they were quite tight enough either. I retracked both today. The new solos will go into the next mix. Bass is too loud for me too.

Don't apologize. I'm here for the critique. My dog thinks I'm the greatest musician on the planet. I know better, and come here for help in improving. ;)
 
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