Valentine.

S

stringtheory

New member
Hi all,

I'm looking for some crits... i'm pretty happy with the first 2 min 40 seconds of the song (aside for some drum beats). Anybody else find the hardest part of a song to be finding a way to wrap it up? if not plz give me some input on... wrapping it up ...i.e. build up outro or should we just cut it short?

thanks for listening and we obviously missed our Valentines Day deadline :P.

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8812834
 
yea im never happy wit my final piece eitha myself but i usually end it wit a chorus n fadin out the beat....but wat yo song about?? cuz wen i do a meaningful song i begin n end it wit somethin related to its message othawise i jus fade it out wat kinda music yo do
 
Kody said:
yea im never happy wit my final piece eitha myself but i usually end it wit a chorus n fadin out the beat....but wat yo song about?? cuz wen i do a meaningful song i begin n end it wit somethin related to its message othawise i jus fade it out wat kinda music yo do
Click to expand...

.........what?
 
build up an outro....or fade out ya beat.....wat message r u portraying?? wat kinda music do u record as in genre??
 
no i havent where can i find it im pretty much new ta thiz joint....dunno much bout it....but wen i get on my laptop i leave messages here n there but im usually not on thiz site.....jus started usin it....i saw homerecording.com n said thatz wat i do.....where iz ya song....im guessin not on thiz sight....i dont really use soundclick or none of them joints im more of a myspace cat....u got it up on ya myspace if ya got one?
 
Kody said:
no i havent where can i find it im pretty much new ta thiz joint....dunno much bout it....but wen i get on my laptop i leave messages here n there but im usually not on thiz site.....jus started usin it....i saw homerecording.com n said thatz wat i do.....where iz ya song....im guessin not on thiz sight....i dont really use soundclick or none of them joints im more of a myspace cat....u got it up on ya myspace if ya got one?
Click to expand...

I don't have it on myspace, but If you want to listen just click the link i posted, and choose "lo-fi" or "hi-fi".
 
Dude... One of the most creative / well-produced pieces I've listened to on here. The recording was nicely done, and using instruments which I'm sure were a bit unorthodox, as well.... Vocals were awesomely panned... Listening to them on my Rokit 8's, It just sounded.... great! Sure, it wasn't all bricked like all the radio music of today, and such, but man... For what it was, I don't think you could have done a much better job. Keep it up! Post more!

Oh, and for the ending, I think cutting off one instrument at a time until the saying of the letters, "V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E" are left, and then leave it at that, with possibly some after-the-fact vocals.... like people laughing or something like that....

Yeah.. I really enjoyed this one.
 
I dont like the bass panned off to the side like that. much better in the middle where it is expected. totally diggin the shaker thing in the end. Drums need to be more prominent in the mix.

Good arrangement, though. I like PI's idea for an outtro, but what you've got works too. Nice little harmony work.

Good song.
 
I think the bass moves to CTR at some point. It was a little wierd L, but Beatles did a lot of that...and it worked. Some of their mixes are whack...including the panning. I defer to Sir George Martin, and call it my own narrow bias...

Stringtheory...a nicely done thing, as usual. Unique. Inventive.

I think the drums and vox could be brought up together for a little mo' betternezz. Especially some more cymbal. The midrangie Hoffner bass sound swallows stuff...and it could use some HF punctuation in the hats or something....along the lines and level of the hand claps...which are a real welcome relief to the 'moooo'.

Poetic hit the ending right. A few more choruses...going toward handclap acpella and an abrupt stop...with the room still reverberatin'....that's the ticket. Leave the flavor of the hook in the brain of the listener....
 
Good suggestions by poeticintensity and jeffmaher. I'll add my 2 cents by saying mix wise I found the percussion too loud and the vocals too soft. Good songwriting and arrangement......:)
 
PoeticIntensity said:
Dude... One of the most creative / well-produced pieces I've listened to on here. The recording was nicely done, and using instruments which I'm sure were a bit unorthodox, as well.... Vocals were awesomely panned... Listening to them on my Rokit 8's, It just sounded.... great! Sure, it wasn't all bricked like all the radio music of today, and such, but man... For what it was, I don't think you could have done a much better job. Keep it up! Post more!

Oh, and for the ending, I think cutting off one instrument at a time until the saying of the letters, "V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E" are left, and then leave it at that, with possibly some after-the-fact vocals.... like people laughing or something like that....

Yeah.. I really enjoyed this one.
Click to expand...


Wow, thank you! :) I like your idea for the ending too, gonna give it a try.

Thx for listening!
 
Chili said:
I dont like the bass panned off to the side like that. much better in the middle where it is expected. totally diggin the shaker thing in the end. Drums need to be more prominent in the mix.

Good arrangement, though. I like PI's idea for an outtro, but what you've got works too. Nice little harmony work.

Good song.
Click to expand...

Thanks.

yea, i'm finding that people either don't mind the bass being off to the left or they hate it being off too the left, but nobody seems to love it being off to the left :P. I'll mess around with moving it towards the middle.

thx for listening! :)
 
jeffmaher said:
I think the bass moves to CTR at some point. It was a little wierd L, but Beatles did a lot of that...and it worked. Some of their mixes are whack...including the panning. I defer to Sir George Martin, and call it my own narrow bias...

Stringtheory...a nicely done thing, as usual. Unique. Inventive.

I think the drums and vox could be brought up together for a little mo' betternezz. Especially some more cymbal. The midrangie Hoffner bass sound swallows stuff...and it could use some HF punctuation in the hats or something....along the lines and level of the hand claps...which are a real welcome relief to the 'moooo'.

Poetic hit the ending right. A few more choruses...going toward handclap acpella and an abrupt stop...with the room still reverberatin'....that's the ticket. Leave the flavor of the hook in the brain of the listener....
Click to expand...

Thx for the comments and insight Jeff... you know your beatles mixing; i moved the bass way over to the left one day after listening to Mean Mr. Mustard (one of my all time favs). It did work for them, they usually seemed to have less clutter though which may have helped.

I'll try some of the things you suggested. Do you have any suggestions for the bass tone? should i take out some of the mid range and just let it be a bass?

Thx for listening. :)
 
Nice work man, this has a great sound and style, but I don't like the bass panned hard left like that either. I checked out your other tunes, which were also good, very nicely recorded and mixed. It kind of reminds me of The Unicorns, you should check them out if you don't already know.
 
I think the bass tone is real authentic 65 Paul's Hoffner. It's just maybe too loud. One of the things I like about the tune is the Beatles' references. And I like the bass sound. Maybe a little referencing with the bass part in "Come Together"...aim at that EQ to de-woof it, if you like the level in the mix?

Yeah...I hear some of those old cuts from Rubber Soul....amazing invention in the mixes. Out of the box, cuz there was no box. Same with Traffic's "Low Spark". I hear them with new ears. And I lose some of my own boxy prejudices.
 
jlewis said:
Nice work man, this has a great sound and style, but I don't like the bass panned hard left like that either. I checked out your other tunes, which were also good, very nicely recorded and mixed. It kind of reminds me of The Unicorns, you should check them out if you don't already know.
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Thank you!

...and i didn't know the Unicorns, but i do now and i'm a fan. thx for pointing them out to me.
 
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