piano driven Springtime Motivational

S

samicide

New member
hello,

Heres a stranger than usual one. There is no guitar except for some Ebow. Obvious fake drums are present also...it is a machine, and there is an attempt at a three part harmony...

Here are the lyrics if you cant understand them,

"It's springtime, and I should go outside...and you should go outside.."


I would appreciate your ears on the mix..

thanks if you bother..

'springtime motivational'
www.nowhereradio.com/samij/singles
 
So you're sitting inside writting and recording a tune about how you should go outside. I can oddly relate to that!

Nice piano piece. I thought the ebow was a tad too snarely and grumpy for the rest of the feel. Nice vox. I think the level is just about right.

Maybe I'll see if I can't find the way to the front door.
Peace,
Theron.
 
A real good job. There is a ton of stuff going on in this one, and it's all managed very well. How much did it cost to get Issac Hayes do to those vocals at 1:51 and 3:46? :D Serious though - great vocal effects.

Good use of dynamics, as you do frequently. There were a couple of transitions that seemed a little abrupt for my taste (e.g., @2:39).

The harmonies blended fairly well, although not perfectly. The vocal effects compensated for it rather well.

But again - an absolutely terrific job of getting all the parts to sit well together.
 
Oh, that drumbeat again :o ! I'll forgive you, since the song has that mood. The church organ is too loud, but I like the playing on this tune. The sound effects are quite a nice flavour. I've been listening to some Roger Waters lately, and those reminded me of his stuff right away. I love the left & right guitar theme there. I love the way you made the mood on this one again.

The part at 2:39 was a bit sudden, and I'd like to have heard a little bridge part or some drum action to kinda prepare for the change. There's really no mixing issues for me aside from that organ being too loud. Maybe the organ wasn't a right choice for the song, soundwise. I'd like to hear some different sounds you can conjure :) I love your stuff and you've delivered a solid one again. I can see your musical style forming here.

And you've got a nice message there on your song. I'll have to go outside starting from next week, since I've got a month to work, and that means $$$ :)
 
Thanks for the comments guys! The first ears to have heard this tune are yours... Thanks for not making me think I'm completely crazy to have considered this a song..:D

later

Sam (samicide)
 
Sam,

Really cool song!
I like the way you changed to that funk groove,perfect.
Dig that E-bow too!

Now I gotta go outside.

Well to bed anyway.
Mabey tommorrow I'll get outside!

Best to you,
Pete
 
thanks muzeman, I was pushing the limits on what I could get away with on this one, appreciate the comments.

later,

sam (B.Sabb)
 
That chorus knocked me over. Excellent title to the song as well. I liked the harmonies and the piano sound is very realistic I thought. I think this song would fit in well the phantom of the opera.
 
thanks enrichenryus...

Even when I try to write a happy song it comes out like Phantom of the Opera type stuff..:D

thanks for the comments

sam
 
samicide--You rock. The recording and mix sounds very good to me. I like the way you compose. You seem to find things that avoid the melodic cliche and that sound inventive. Another thing I like is that you take my ear to different places within the space of a song. One thing I can count on is that I never will be bored! I like this. Think I'll go outside now!
 
Nice!

I liked the tune.

the only comment I have, is it would be nice to have a short verse in there somewhere about why I should be going outside, it would be a nice change within the song and give it a little more depth lyricly IMHO. I know you don't stay on a song very long, and this would cause you to re-record the whole thing, so it is not a very realistic suggestion, but maybe for next time. :)

Matt
 
Interesting song. I really like the phat organ sounds. Mood song. Strange but it kept my interest. I thought the changes could have been smoother and not so ABRUPT, but I like the parts. I listened to a few others of yours and liked 'Cruise' and the 'dark piano interlude'. you have some really good parts but have some problems with structure.

Certainly some of the more interesting music I have heard.. Work on the structure and flow a bit more. Keep it up.

Nice work!


Roth
 
theron
TripleM
CrankyOne
CyanJaguar
muzeman
erichenryus
crawdad
mgiles7
Roth

Thanks for taking the time to drop some comments. Some people listen and dont bother, thanks for taking the time to do so. :cool: It is appreciated.. I have a lot to work on.

sam
(B.Sabbath)


BTW - mgiles7, if I can ever think of a reason, I'll add it. :D
 
you know...if I was the last person to reply...I probably would have been put at the bottom of your "list" ....not sure if I'd like that or not:D :eek:

so...your guitar out gettin' new strings and a wax job.. or sumpin??

very nice, Mr. Sam ...you even have a unique ivory skill too...I like it.

I found the lyrics to be a little deep ...and I didn't really understand them.

so...gettin' into mood music with the rain and thunder, eh??

You like that cathedral patch, don't you?

Yeah..very King Crimson-ish ....
 
First impression was it reminded alot of Cristopher Franke.I really liked the transition at around 1:45, that added some nice flavor very cool. You could maybe bring the piano up a bit in the main body ,the organ kinda drowns it a bit,or maybe eq a little of the 1-1.5k out of the organ and boost the piano their too.Just work on those abrupt changes, they can work,one idea I had was silence,just let the piano intro ring out then 1+2+bladamm hit us with the main body(basically what you did with a slightly longer pause) Or for a smoother(old rundgren/utopia) kinda change x-fades can work with some effort.(maybe another piano part linking the two) Real good stuff Sam,liked it very much.
 
Hey Keith, thanks for the tips.. I have to experiment with using the e.q. more. I try to use as little as possible because I have had bad results before, I'll tweak some more.. thanks again man


Hey mixmkr, I just thought you hated this tune so much that you didnt want to respond.:D

As far as the lyrics, people always tell me, "It's a beautiful day, go outside!" Many days whether it's sunny or rainning, I will usually choose to record something. I really must get out more during the day on my days off... That's really all there is to the lyrics, just a reminder to myself to get outside..:) I will be stripping it down for the next tune....right after the Cranky One collaboration..

As far as the organ, I am usually playing that thing at a very loud volume.. When it's loud, I pretend I'm playing a giant church organ with 50 foot pipes!:D :rolleyes: I think that's why I've been using it so much lately... I have been enjoying that sound..I will hold off on it for awhile though...

thanks again for the comments.. please feel free to give me the negatives, that's why I post tunes..

thanks dudes

later
sam
 
you know though...I listened to your tune...probably within minutes after it was posted...but was one of those wankers your refer to, that just listen and keep their mouths shut. I figured I'd get around to saying something, but damn...there's been a zillion people posting here in the clinic lately, so many songs....so little time...blah, blah....

My negatives have been stated by others...just the separation of the different musical parts from one another. a good...and a bad. You might try CONCIENTIOUSLY transistioning between parts in your next couple songs...like take an instrument, and blend it over both parts..whatever...something easy like that. I'd also take a better pno sound, if possible....something more real would give you some neater textures...possibly with something like this. This was your alesis?? it's just got that "midi grand" sound...eh?...like heavy sustain pedal dealie...

The harlem globetrotters part (Isaac Hayes), was kinda too current sounding for me (definately not of the 80's!), but hey....you've got more ideas in ya, I'm sure.

SO......are you legs, "chicken white?" ha!!!


oh!!....I know what you mean...I like playing the role of "Lurch", sometimes too!!
 
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