NEW SONG R2OS, comments & advice?

roomx

roomx

New member
Hi, and thank you for reading my post :)

Hi. I've been using the Easter holidays to relax, review some music here and record a new song. It's an R.E.M. / Beatles sounding thing, about lost love...

Have been trying to learn from advice on earlier songs submitted, listening to you out there and reading comments here and on the cakewalk forums homepage(are posting there as well.)
Looking forward to getting your advice, comments and criticism on anything you can think of concerning this song.

Fine by me if you speak your mind and come with your honest, subjective opinion, I can take it, I learn more from advice and criticism! :)


R2OS - Teardrop

128 kbps streaming Song: Teardrop

320 kbpsdownload (not soundclick)

All music is recorded as audio, drums are loops/samples. All instruments played by me.
I have no bass guitar yet; so the bass is a guitar transposed on octave down, have to get one!
The guitars are tuned in C6 and the acoustic have a capo on 6th.
Planning to by the CME UF8 CME UF8 keyboard with firewire to be able to work more freely with sounds and spices for the song.

I've always thought it a good thing to pass on some additional info on the recording, lyrics, influences and so on, so:

BPM: 109
Genre: Alternative pop/rock
Influences on this song: XTC, R.E.M, Chris Isaak, Grant Lee Buffalo
Length: 3:21
BPM: 109

My gear:
_ Cakewalk Sonar 2.2
_ Fender Strat+ http://www.guitarbar.com/images/FenderStratPlus92Sun.jpg
_ Fender Acoustic- Sierra Vista http://www.guitare-village.com/matos/23_02_2004/sierravista.jpg
_ Marshal MXL 2003 mic http://www.mtlc.net/manager/images/db/f1773.jpg
_ A small Behringer 4 track mixer http://www.videoviden.dk/images/behringer_mx602.jpg
_ Boss delay RDD-20 http://www.effectsdatabase.com/images/gear/Boss_RDD20_s.jpg
_ Boss Compression Sustainer CS-3 http://dynatone.ru/guiteffect_boss/ib/cs3.jpg
_ Creative Live soundcard from 1998 http://www.sk.co.yu/1999/02/sktd02.jpg
_ An AMD 2400 athlon

Lyrics:

R2OS – Teardrop 2005 ©

1) Save;
your lies
your ways

2) come what may
come what may

Chorus:
This is what it does
What was your cause?

Teardrop
Teardrop
Watering eyes
Watering eyes

3) Save:
your life
today

4) go away
go away

Chorus 2)
Say:
You waste your time
Say:
You waste mine

Teardrop
Teardrop
 

Attachments

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Last edited:
Shame

Garry Sharp said:
Hmm...looks like soundclick is down...again.

Shame, I was looking forward to see how those lyrics work
Click to expand...

You can always get it at the other download site (it's fast)

Thanks for the interest, G.S.
 
i'm really suprised at the sound of the "bass" it dosn't sound nearly as bad as i thought it would. really, i'm suprised.

first, cut the air closer to the guitars (in the intro), it sounds strange coming in all at random times.

i'd turn the rythem gits down a little and the lead up (a little)

i think git 4 in the verry end is not needed, kinda cluttered

is thare a REALLY hi hi freq boost on the guitars???
or something else

i dont really pay a lot of attention to lyrics (why i don't write often)
just to how they sit

is ok, not my type of thing but it sounds like the b-side of a very good album

very indicitive of whats been happening in europe the last few years

i'm being super critical though
 
Thanks for the good advice...

giraffe said:
i'm really suprised at the sound of the "bass" it dosn't sound nearly as bad as i thought it would. really, i'm suprised.

first, cut the air closer to the guitars (in the intro), it sounds strange coming in all at random times.

i'd turn the rythem gits down a little and the lead up (a little)

i think git 4 in the verry end is not needed, kinda cluttered

is thare a REALLY hi hi freq boost on the guitars???
or something else

i dont really pay a lot of attention to lyrics (why i don't write often)
just to how they sit

is ok, not my type of thing but it sounds like the b-side of a very good album

very indicitive of whats been happening in europe the last few years

i'm being super critical though
Click to expand...


Thanks, this is really helpfull...
(how do I "cut the air" closer to the guitar"?

"is thare a REALLY hi hi freq boost on the guitars" Ehh, no eq used on the rhythm guitar. Used a mic., then through my compression, through my mixer and and in the computer...

"i think git 4 in the verry end is not needed, kinda cluttered" I'll try without it.


"i'd turn the rythem gits down a little and the lead up (a little)" Ok, thanks

Good luck with your music as well.

Regards
 
how you expect comments when you offer to review songs and then are bais about it. I'm not even going to listen to yours dude. Wtf.
 
I can tell you can sing and have a good sense of melody, but that recording is really really really difficult to listen to. The fingernoise and picknoise from the guitars is making me blink violently, and the whole mix sounds like you ran it through some kind of...ummm...fuck, I dunno'..."sandpaper" plugin?

And if you're going to use drum loops, why would you use loops that sound like they came from a drum machine?

Youch. It hurts, it hurts, which sucks, b/c I can hear a cool song and some great performances in there...somewhere in there...behind all the distortion and grainyness...
 
HAHAHAHAHA...man, sorry...I was listening on headphones that had a short, hehehe...sounds much better than I thought. dude, you have no idea, lol.

BUT MY DRUM LOOP COMMENTS STAND, lol.


My bad...carry on.
 
Thanks

chrisharris said:
HAHAHAHAHA...man, sorry...I was listening on headphones that had a short, hehehe...sounds much better than I thought. dude, you have no idea, lol.

BUT MY DRUM LOOP COMMENTS STAND, lol.


My bad...carry on.
Click to expand...

Ha ha.

Thanks for the honest comments. I'll work on it. Planning to get a keyboard, and hope that will enable me to make my own drum loops.
 
Hi

I like the song; Good bass, guitars and vocals. I think you are still working on the song because the production quality is not as good as for "No Questions". A keyboard on "Teardrop" would really help smoothing out things and give you access to more drum voices (if you plan to use it with a sequencer).

/Jack Real.
 
Listening now. Hate the drums, shame it opens with them. Some very nice guitar touches, though a bit too plucky and squeaky. Very Beatlesy vocals, but they sound a bit harsh and lacking in body. I think there is scope to do more with the bass line. I normally hate pads but I can hear space for one on this to give the midrange a bit of body.

The song itself is perfectly OK but nothing special.

All only IMHO of course.

Garry
 
Garry Sharp said:
Listening now. Hate the drums, shame it opens with them. Some very nice guitar touches, though a bit too plucky and squeaky. Very Beatlesy vocals, but they sound a bit harsh and lacking in body. I think there is scope to do more with the bass line. I normally hate pads but I can hear space for one on this to give the midrange a bit of body.

The song itself is perfectly OK but nothing special.

All only IMHO of course.

Garry
Click to expand...

Thanks for the words... As I said, I don't have a bass-guitar, so I have octaved an el-guitar.
 
Jack Real said:
Hi

I like the song; Good bass, guitars and vocals. I think you are still working on the song because the production quality is not as good as for "No Questions". A keyboard on "Teardrop" would really help smoothing out things and give you access to more drum voices (if you plan to use it with a sequencer).

/Jack Real.
Click to expand...

I think so to. I think I shall do some more experimenting on recording the acoutic guitars through a microphone, maybe cut some of the hi off, and use some sort of limiter on it maybe?

Thanks for listening to both songs.
 
i'm liking your style, I listened to a another tune you posted recently, "no questions". cool stuff. i thought the drums worked ok for the tune/style. maybe the snare could use some variation in timbre to make it sound a little more real. that guitar sounds pretty convincing as a bass to me. i think its a cool tune.
 
Thanks

TravisinFlorida said:
i'm liking your style, I listened to a another tune you posted recently, "no questions". cool stuff. i thought the drums worked ok for the tune/style. maybe the snare could use some variation in timbre to make it sound a little more real. that guitar sounds pretty convincing as a bass to me. i think its a cool tune.
Click to expand...

Thank you for the comment. I'm looking forward to getting a keyboard, so I can start working with the drums....
 
Improvement

chugheshc said:
very nice. no complaints, very, very listenable.
trickled in and filled all the spaces in my ears.
cheers
C.
Click to expand...

Thanks. Got some ideas on improving the lyrics on usergroup:
rec.music.makers.songwriting
Got some ideas for improving the mix here and in the cakewalk forums.

If anybody else have any ideas on improvement, please let me know!
 
i think its a bit clicky but that fits this song perfrct imo

when i read the lyrics i was thinking "this can't be good"
but when i gave it a listen i was pleased to be wrong.

if i heard this on the radio i would not change the station :P
 
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