I think it's nice that I can tell there is a very delicate and femine hand on the drums. Your drumming is very 'attentive', you really want it, and I think you have a clear idea of the role the drums should play in this song, and I agree with that idea, it is very tasteful. That the drums are not perfectly in time, or played with super technique is a non-issue for this 'writer's scratch'.
What is a 'drum issue' at this point in the development of this work is capturing what is happening with the drums in a format that is consistent, so that the piano and the vocal can be crafted more firmly, to move you and this piece along within the 'Steps of Production'.
You say in your post that you ... think you can get it all to work together ...
You can develop and follow a 'game plan', a set of 'Steps of Production' and be true to those steps, completing them, and then revisiting them with help from board members to finally end up with a really fine recorded performance of these rough ideas, you are feeling this deeply, it is real, I hear that.
Now that you have an idea of what you want to do, drum wise, it's time to find a collaborator to write you a drum track in MIDI based upon a chart that you can provide. Or do this yourself.
Yes, I'm playing producer here, I like to produce and it's all IMHO, I don't mean to commandeer your song or your music, I really, honestly hope for you to be able to coordinate and finish this as a polished piece of music.
You have a voice, a great voice that is crying out for a consistent part that will lend confidence to the performance. I would like to stand directly in front of you in the choir loft and bask in your voice at full volume while you sing the hymns that you probably know so well.
I think you can do most anything with your voice, and I think you have a fine mind to do that with. It's really all about organization and 'Steps of Production'. This could be a heavy duty, and 'heavy on my mind' type of song. You could sell this.
The drums are not a critical part of the artistry of this song, they are a tool at this point, to assist in defining the structure of the song and provide a 'click' for you to sing to. The 'Steps of Production' to move this piece of music further towards a more whole and somewhat finished and polished performance and recording ... demand that the drum part be 'knocked out'.
The keyboard part and the vocal performance are much more 'flexible', they need to be crafted a bit, and with a strong and consisent 'backbone' of a drum track that you the performer know will be strong, and in time and the same every time will give you great confidence in continuing to craft this song. You will then be able to 'release' the drum part, and concentrate on performing the vocal and piano, polishing and finishing those 'elements' of this piece of music ... that we call 'a song'.
The most productive step to take now is to let go of the piano and vocal for a while and 'knock out' a well metered and consistent simple drum part, a MIDI or computer drum part.
Real drums can come later, and much more productively if you write the part, and 'rehearse' the song and firm up the structure and details of the song using a MIDI drum track.
Drums are consistently one of the most difficult instruments to record well and then ... to mix well. Getting all hooked up in that difficulty is a pitfall in production for you at this point. Unless of course you are enjoying messing with all the 'drum stuff', then I'm off base.
If you want to collaborate on this tune, I will write you a very basic and simple drum sequence, or I will find you a suitable board member to do that for you. I'm urging board members to make that offer now.
I think your style can be a great contribution to this board and help round all of us out. It's really blues, I mean ... ain't it all the blues ?
Your style, the torch style, is in my ballpark, I like ;-).
But you will have to committ to a chart of the format of the song. That doesn't mean the tune is forever set in stone, you can change the chart, and of course you can cut and paste on the computer and change the drum track easily to follow any changes in format.
A chart is a custom template, and you can find that new songs can be borne from charts of your tunes, indeed, you can define your style much more rapidly and produce a dozen songs in rapid succession with one chart, and exhaust that 'part of your musical being' and then move on to new territory.
Once you have a 'defined' structure, you have something to craft and work within more confidently. Words can be changed here and there, chords can be altered subtley ... melody crafted more finely and more confidently. But most importantly, ambiguity in performance is eliminated, and you can work up to a point where you have format to perform more freely within, rather than searching for the 'live juice' it's all there for you haning on the trees ripe for the picking ... in that particular orchard, that chart.
In your post you have already mentioned structural elements of the song, 'verse', 'chorus' ... etc ...
If you will make a chart in wordpad or even notepad, (and I give an example later based on your performance here), where each 'tally mark' equals a bar or 3 beats you will probably find yourself feeling a lot more in control of this song, this will also help others collalborate with you very efficiently.
The chart helps you to visually place elements of the song in their time context ... where drum fills occur, where breaks occur, where the hooks occur, where harmony vocals will occur.
Ultimately, this song could have some real strings as backing, and that's my specialty, I perform and record with violin, viola, and cello.
I also practice compassion, that's why this song is of such great interest to me. A lot can be done with the word 'compassion' just by itself at the end of this song to 'take it out', especially with what I could hear your voice doing with it.
The chart of course documents the song, much as an Information Technology Project Manager would document any project. To document art, to document music, is the supreme product management IMHO, most folks call that 'being a producer'.
The chart allows you to release the emotional connection to the song, and look at the 'piece of music' from a more crafty viewpoint.
Chart Example :
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METER : 3/8
TEMPO : ~80
INSTRUMENTATION : Piano, Vocal, Drum Kit, Strings.
INTRO :
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VERSE 1 :
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REFRAIN (CHORUS) HOOK :
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PIANO INTERLUDE (Bridge) :
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VERSE 2 :
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REFRAIN (CHORUS) HOOK :
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ORCHESTRAL-PIANO BRIDGE :
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HOOKS OUT (compassion):
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I will give you confidence by saying that the method you have used to mic your vocal has provided you with a very nice tone from your voice. I mean the quality and tone of the vocal is rich and lovely, very moody but without bogging our ear down, there is still a crispness in the vocal and it is tastefully processed.
You intonation is pleasing. When you modulate or ... move into a new 'tone center' at 0:56, I think what you are attempting there is very difficult and subtle for the performer's ear, your ear, to grasp solidly. If you will really analyze what is happening there and firmly commit to a 'theory' of your vocal approach there, I think ultimately you can give both yourself and your listener more confidence as you 'move us' there, and that can be a very 'moving' harmonic device, what you want to accomplish there. Perhaps if you take the few notes up to and after that point much more softly, with more 'compassion'.
And again you do this here at about 2:24. Although I hear and agree with a 'theory' of harmony here that you want to accomplish, if you really analyze and concretely define ... how the vocal is moving, in relation to the chords preceding it, and following it, we can all have more confidence in this 'gut movement' of harmony. And I'm feeling a lot of tension here, as the harmony and melody you are using are very theoretically 'tense'. We don't have a lot to anchor us to where we were, as you go to 'where you went'. We as the listener must have confidence in your here, teach us here, convince us to come along, that it is safe to move with you here. Singing this all more gently and softer may provide you with an even more effective device. But I'm convinced just getting a little clearer picture of what you are actually doing, which keys on the piano your voice is singing here, and how they may ... or may not ... relate to which keys are being played before and after, will help you to 'realize' the magic here.
I think all of us really want to hear you open up and 'belt it out' as you probably really have some powerful pipes ... but your strong voice here, singing pensively is very, very effective. Never lose the questions in this song, never lose the 'wonder', that's the anxiety here.
This 'harmonic' trickery you are doing here can be very, very effective as you are using it to highlight the hook 'Compassion'. Don't abandon this, work it, refine it, make it happen because there is magic there in your voice, in your soulful fiber ... you do have soul and it's sweet !
But to boil and condense all the magic out of that brief moment at the hook, this harmonic and melodic tension you are 'wrapping around' compassion, you gotta produce this tune and get this drum track made and release it, and come back to it later.
I'm assuming you are the only musician working on this and that the whole 'baby' is 'your baby'. Consider letting your board members join in with you on this one to help move you along.
Sincerly,
Pat
I think I can get it all to work correctly and not make all those mistakes later.
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