Electronic instrumental - requires feedback

[GenChildren]

Hello. I used to post here ages ago but my username seems to have disappeared. Oh well, maybe I've just forgotten it.

This is a shortish electronic instrumental I'd like some response too. I'd like to know if you think it sounds good, or if you perceive any problems with it. I've not been doing this for long and I figured it was time to get some feedback from real people, to make sure I wasn't going insane. I know it won't be perfect as my set-up is hardly ideal, but I hope you don't think it sucks.

Thank you for taking the time to listen.

Alex.

 

[TripleM]

Nice mood piece. The piano is real nice (could be brought up just a bit though). I like how you took that theme and brought it back in spots. Some of those other keyboard parts sounded nice too.

Bass is fairly boomy. Makes a little rattle in my headphones. You could probably pull the fader back just a nudge or EQ out some lows.

You may want to put some drum fills in in spots. They get a little "mechanical."

 

[M.Brane]

From a mix standpoint:

It's a bit thick in the low-mids/upper-bass, yet lacking a bit in the low-bass. You could get a kick, or use a bass sound that has more bottom. Maybe even add another sub-bass pedal tone in there to add some bottom. There's a grainy top on that string patch that's a bit unpleasant. Might want to low-pass that.

From a song standpoint:

I'm not heavily into electronic stuff, but do like some of it. This is cool, but seems like it's incomplete. Needs more variation.