Care to help?

weird like first series star trek weird. oops. That was the backwards incomplete thing. Enough time. The mix is kinda low. Guitar sounds are industrial, not sure if you were going for that. Ah, here we go at 1:44. Good sound for the most part. That was a lot of verb on the crash. This can be a first track on the album, but the hit will be later. It sounds introish. missing maybe some analog keyboard stuff, just what I hear in my head. B+ good job. Hey, lay down the trax ;)
 
Joeydego,

Thank you sir. The drums are what I'm not happy about, and the reverb will go once it's remixed.

What did you mean by industrial?
 
the verb need not go altogether, just used more conservatively. Guitar tone was industrial, kind of NIN in certian parts. Makes me think of the movie, the Crow.I'd get a Nord keyboard happening on this track. Just my personal taste and what I'm hearing for it.
 
Volume is way too low on the long intro and low overall.

The plucking guitar stuff needs work.

Other than that, just keep at it and refine it by your own ear.

Sounds to me like you are able to get the job done.
 
Hey guitarmonkus,

There is a lot of interesting stuff going on in there! A few constructive comments though:

-thought the intro was a bit long IMO. It's very minimalist (almost nihilist), and is definitely not the most interesting part of the piece. So 1' 40" may be a stretch. Of the top of my head, some spoken word backwards tracked (but sunken in the mix) might add a nice layer here

-there is a rudimentary quality to the playing in spots. Should I assume you were going for that? Also there are spots where I heard some tuning issues.

-I like the harmonies ALOT. Problem is, they sound much better than the vocal bits without them. Have you considered running harmonies throughout?

Overall, I think this is pretty cool. There are spots that are truly inspired, especially the bit as the piece approaches the 4' mark. It is all clicking there.

Hope this helps,

Chris
 
Thank you gents for your words and the time you took to listen. EL34, I plan to raise the volume as soon as I get a chance.

Bigmahon: I noticed you said that there were tuning issues. I believe you might be talking about the end of the part where I stretch the note up to create a clash. That was intentional. I was going to for a little tension in the part. You might have not been talking about that part, but I waned to clarify in case.

Thanks for the advice. When it's redone I will shorten the intro. I think I got carried away. When leaving it as long as I did, I wanted to add more layers, but they never surfaced Maybe adding your word track or something playing backwards is what it needs. I'll think things through.

Thanks guys!!

Thom
 
Cool trippy sounding work here.
Like the intro and dig the overall feel to the song, interesting throughout.
The cymbal crashes are king of harsh and loud on my system.
The vocals on my system sound somewhat burried.
I like the fat driving rhythm guitar in the fast sections.
When you start playing lead, I'd thicken that up some... bring up the volume a tad or try double tracking/chorusing it.
Cool song man, liked it :cool:
 
Really loved the feel of this song, great intro, just thought it was a bit long. Could be my setup at the moment, (I'm listening through headphones) but thought the vocals could do with coming up a bit so we could hear what you were singing. But still I loved the song... cool bass too.
 
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