Possible submission for HR.com Comp CD

WATYF

WATYF

...happier than you.
OK... so.. normally there's a long-winded explanation at the beginning of all my mp3 posts....







and this is no exception. :p


(not that any of you actually knew that, seeing how 90% of the clinic is a bunch of freaking newbies now... :p)




So anyway... I'm a little busy... haven't been around to comment on anything... kinda gettin' married in 4 days (or something like that) so things have been a little hectic.


Anywhoo... I heard aboot the comp CD and wanted to submit something... I also happened to be working on a tune for my (soon to be) wife... an old song... so I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone.


This particular song is one I wrote years, and many moons ago, (and all that). It was back when I didn't know how to actually write a song that was in my own FREAKING RANGE!!! So... in order to even barely pull this off, I had to string my guitar and tune it a whole step lower than standard. Even with that, there's a part that I can't hit... (you'll know it when you hear it... :p)

As for my usual "I hate my guitar sound" gripe... well... this one actually came out half-decent. I'm not as disappointed in this one as with all my previous recordings. I am ticked that the vocals aren't that great (because of the high parts) but the over-all musical aspect isn't so bad.

I used a couple things in this one that I don't normally use.

1) Loops... I wanted some drums in this, so I took some stock loops and messed with em a bit. I think it adds to the composition. I'd still like to be able to get real drums on my recs sometime soon, but these are OK for now.

2) Bass guitar... My brother, who has a knack for being given instruments, (like a 68 Gold Top. :eek: ) was given an old 70's gibson bass. It's ugly and it sounds like crap... so I thought, "Hey... I'll use this on a song." :p Anyway... it's not that bad. The low end is filled out just by its mere presence, and you can't really hear how crappy it sounds with all the other instruments.


Anyway... the song itself is kinda cheesy... It's got some really cliche lyrics at certain points, but I just couldn't think of anything else... so deal with it... :p I also made an interesting grammar choice. I used a noun as a verb. (see if you can spot that one.) :p


Anyway... let me know what you think. All comments welcome. This is the first mix, so let me know what needs to change.



Thanks all.


Interrogating Angels


WATYF
 
Good heartfelt dynamic singing. The emotions were obviously there during the recording which really brings in the listener.

I'm not a fan of ballads like this extending into the 5-6 min mark. I would think the listener was presented with pretty much everything the song had to offer at the 3-4 min mark. (At least muscially) And like I have said in other posts, you risk "losing" the listener if the overall dynamics of the song are the same for an extended length of time.

This song had me hooked fairly quickly due to the singing style, I would have liked to see the "rythm" section kick in before the 2:20 mark to brighten up the overall dynamics of the song quicker.

Actually, I would like to hear another version mixed down to about 3:30 with the rythm section kicking in around the 2min mark.

With those comments out of the way, I have to say this is a very good performance of a very good song.
 
sounds like shit!!!
















no man, I love it! it's the kinda of sad-romantic tune I wanna hear with the right girl, u know?
I love it, man!!
 
I find it sounds fine, especially the acoustics. Nice and full and well doubled.

I can hear what you mean about the vocals in the higher ranges, I get that all the time, you probably cringe when you hear them because it's you singing, but I didn't find them bad by any stretch.

Nice guitar solo!

The song is long for sure, but hell this isn't pop radio make it 20 minutes long... :) It didn't drag on or anything to me.
 
I am ticked that the vocals aren't that great (because of the high parts)
Click to expand...


Are you serious? They sound great man. Really nice vocals all around, loved everything about this tune and it wasn't to long at all...not for me anyway. Big5*****
 
hot tea with creme and honey.
Its all about the delivery, (applause goes here...............................................................................................)
This one is saved....
 
homeuser... Yeah... back in "the day" I didn't know how to write a song that wasn't 45 minutes long. :p I'd like to figure oat how to shorten this, but I'm not sure how without leaving out parts that I like. That's ok. I don't plan on "releasing this" anywhere publicly. :p

groove.. thanks man. F**k you too. ;) :D

Emeric... you're prolly right... I hate my voice anyway, so hearing me "reach" sounds even worse... but I guess it doesn't sound as bad to anyone else. I think the gits were a fluke though.. (no, really :p ) 'cause I've never gotten a sound that good, and I seriously have no idea how I did it. :D I tried a different stereo mic position, so I guess that contributed to it.

fresh... thanks man. glad you dug it. :p

Toki... (thanks goes here......................................................) :)



WATYF
 
I am always a fan of a moody ballad. I was hooked from the get go on this. I always hate when someone takes an arrangement that begs to stay simple and overcrowds it. I am glad that you didnt fall for that kind of thing. I like the vocal sound and the use slight delay on the vocal. YES!!! the guitar solo fits perfectly!!! This one gets 4 stars from me, my brother!!!
 
Nice song ... another mellow track from the drum-stick-breaking-specialist ! :D

Having a little trouble getting into the lyrics though ... could you post them ?

Great sound and production.

All the best with the wedding
[whisper] (does she realise she'll be a computer widow ? ;) )

Cheers
David
 
WATYF said:
knew that, seeing how 90% of the clinic is a bunch of freaking newbies now... :p)
So anyway... I'm a little busy... haven't been around to comment on anything... kinda gettin' married in 4 days (or something like that) so things have been a little hectic.
Anywhoo... I heard aboot the comp CD and wanted to submit something... I also happened to be working on a tune for my (soon to be) wife... an old song... so I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone.
This particular song is one I wrote years, and many moons ago, (and all that). It was back when I didn't know how to actually write a song that was in my own FREAKING RANGE!!! So... in order to even barely pull this off, I had to string my guitar and tune it a whole step lower than standard. Even with that, there's a part that I can't hit... (you'll know it when you hear it... :p)
As for my usual "I hate my guitar sound" gripe... well... this one actually came out half-decent. I'm not as disappointed in this one as with all my previous recordings. I am ticked that the vocals aren't that great (because of the high parts) but the over-all musical aspect isn't so bad.
I used a couple things in this one that I don't normally use.
1) Loops... I wanted some drums in this, so I took some stock loops and messed with em a bit. I think it adds to the composition. I'd still like to be able to get real drums on my recs sometime soon, but these are OK for now.
2) Bass guitar... My brother, who has a knack for being given instruments, (like a 68 Gold Top. :eek: ) was given an old 70's gibson bass. It's ugly and it sounds like crap... so I thought, "Hey... I'll use this on a song." :p Anyway... it's not that bad. The low end is filled out just by its mere presence, and you can't really hear how crappy it sounds with all the other instruments.
Anyway... the song itself is kinda cheesy... It's got some really cliche lyrics at certain points, but I just couldn't think of anything else... so deal with it... :p I also made an interesting grammar choice. I used a noun as a verb. (see if you can spot that one.) :p
Anyway... let me know what you think. All comments welcome. This is the first mix, so let me know what needs to change.
Thanks all.
WATYF
Click to expand...

WATYF!

WTF is up with all these disclaimers? Let the good ears ( even us newbies) @ this forum rip it up before you do this. This is a FINE romantic ballad!

Great song! Full of feeling, coaxed me right in!

Vocal quality is hip & sensitive as it should be for this lyric.

Congrats on your upcoming nuptuals!!!Small wonder why you haven't been around!

I'd fade the vocals up right from the get go on the next mix.........and even then juice 'em just a db or two The lyrics get buried under the guit a few times.

The Gibson is fine as is your bros playing for this tune but I would separate it from the guit more.

Get hitched, tweak it, (not on your wedding nite, dude) and we'd all love to help you get it ready for submission.

(added edit) I don't know if I'd use it @ the wedding though, on first listening, which for many guests will be the first & last, it is a song of lost , not new love, and could be interpreted incorrectly.?!
Some examples of negative lyrical connotations are : refuse, waste, wondering about you, how do I ( indecision ) , say goodbye!!!??? been wonderin' about you, escape it....etc, etc
( just a thought , dude......don't want her relatives up your butt to soon!)

later,
Ralph
 
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It's a really nice song, and kept me listening. It threatenned to be a bit long, but the last half doesn't dissapoint. I thought there may hae been a bit too much verb on the mix until the band kicked in.
 
Elvis... Thanks man. The solo is the part of the song I'm the most pleased with. I think it came oat pretty decent. That was one of the first solos I ever wrote (maybe even the very first one.. I don't remember). It kinda just "fell" on me. :p


Dres... I have a feeling I'll be spending just a weeee bit less time on the computer now. ;) :p As for the lyrics.. here they be:

I refuse to play this game anymore.
I’ve been around this block way too many times.
I refuse to waste the remnant light.
I need to loosen up the vice on my eyes.

And I’ve been wonderin' about you.
I’ve spent too much gray, trying to explain it.
And I’ve been listenin' for truth.
That just might open up the flood gates... but then.

How do I hold on to what's burning through my hands.
And how do I move on... through a door that never ends.
How do I taste the rain, if you're still runnin' through my veins,
And I don't know how to say.... goodbye.

I refuse to interrogate this angel.
She's seen enough of life without my trials.
I refuse to justify this angle.
I know who I eat to, so why is it so hard.

And I've been wonderin' about you.
I've spent all this time... tryin' to escape it.
And I've been holdin' out for truth.
That just might lay to rest this endless age... but then.

[Repeat Chorus]

[Solo]

How do I hold on to what's slippin' through my hands.
And how will I move on now from this war that never ends.
How will I taste the rain, if you're not runnin' through my veins.
And all I know is I don't wanna say... good bye.


flat... you'll just have to get used to my disclaimers.. :D That's why I'm decrying all you newbies... I already had to defend my disclaimers when I first started posting. :p But thanks for the comments. I will try tweaking the vocals, and getting some seperation in the bass. (p.s. I just borrowed the bass from my bro... he didn't play it... otherwise, I woulda been even harder on it. :D)

And I'm not going to use it at the wedding. I understand the confusion though. It's not really a sad song. If you notice, the theme in the last chorus changes. It's basically a song about confusion. Not about a "break up". I mean,... I wrote it aboot her, so obviously, we didn't break up... Heck... we weren't even dating when I wrote that. LOL.. Trust me,... you don't want to even try to understand what it's aboot. It's a very long, weird story. :p


Doug... Thanks. I'll try to mess with that verb some. I wasn't sure if it was too heavy or not.


WATYF
 
Hey Watyf,

Im listening here at work on my shite comp speakers, so take that for what its worth. From here the vocs neeeeed to come up! Your voice sounds nice. Dont get down on yourself about that. I believe that as long as a voice is in pitch..... the rest is character. ...some have better character than others:D ...but the weird shit we do, even the stuff that might be a little strained....makes it ours. ....and i like that.

You write strong ballads man, ...nice tune.
gw/5
 
Hehehe, looking at the way you type I was curious if you would sing with......a..............lot..................of.................long...............pauses.........................also.

Fortunately you don't. Song sounds very good, actually. Guitarsound especially. Solo is lovely! :)

About your vocals: I hear fear, man! Loose that fear, and it's gonna be much better. You can reach those high notes, you've proven it, I know it & you know it. So, sing a bit louder and with maximum confidence next time and everything will be alright!

Btw, when I lost my fear I discovered an extra octave in my range :eek:

Go WATYF! :D
 
Pedullist said:


About your vocals: I hear fear, man! Loose that fear, and it's gonna be much better. You can reach those high notes, you've proven it, I know it & you know it. So, sing a bit louder and with maximum confidence next time and everything will be alright!
Click to expand...

i agree with that comment. you do have the range (and a unique voice), you just lack the confidence imo.

i like the sound of the guitars. can't really hear the vocals all that well.

i liked the song very much.

congrats on getting married. now go make a daughter and write songs about her like everyone used to do around here before all the newbies showed up.
 
Sounds good to me man.Vocals could come up just a tad but other than that it's a good mix.The vocal delivery is really good and the acoustics are recorded well.I see no reason why it shouldnt be on the Comp CD!
 
Thanks for the comments everybody... I gotta run cause I got a billion things to do before Saturday,.. but I wanted to drop by and say thanks for the replies.


I put a new mix up... I tried to incorporate some of the suggestions (boost the Vox, seperate the bass, etc). Let me know if it's any better.


WATYF
 
Man, it sounds HUGE & CLEAN :)
The guitar just cut it well... I can get the vibe... I will be proud if my tune sitting next to this one on the HR.COMP CD's II. Good job, WATYF... good job !!!
 
very nice man......the acoustics sound very good....oooh here's that solo...........nice one for sure........vocals sound good....I must be hearing the new mix......doesn't seem too long to me.....the high parts are fine man....sure, I notice that they aren't perfect...so what?.....one of the coolest things Joe Cocker ever sang was breaking that note on 'You Are So Beautiful'.........
Good one WATYF.....you should submit this for sure.
 
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