indietronica/hiphop song if you may

A

Around

Member
any feedback from unbiased ears would be much appreciated on this indietronica/hiphop song

Updated version 26th Sept.:
 
Last edited:
I liked it. Nice mellow groove, good beat and synths. I'd like to have heard a little more development in the lyrics, as opposed to repeating the same lines. Your vocal take could be improved--though I am the last person who should be critiquing another person's singing! ;) The lead guitar was interesting but sounded out of tune in a few spots. Check the intonation on that guitar.

I've heard some pretty well done electronic compositions on the MP3 Clinic lately. Why don't you check them out and give your feedback. Maybe those posters will do the same for you. For example:

https://homerecording.com/bbs/general-discussions/mp3-mixing-clinic/new-track-called-magnetic-383208/

https://homerecording.com/bbs/general-discussions/mp3-mixing-clinic/wonky-sounding-garage-influenced-pads-bassline-383265/

https://homerecording.com/bbs/general-discussions/mp3-mixing-clinic/para-one-south-african-youth-choir-elevation-kierancampbell-remix-382342/

https://homerecording.com/bbs/general-discussions/mp3-mixing-clinic/ready-your-jet-ski-synthpop-wave-383244/

And this one I thought was particularly good:

https://homerecording.com/bbs/attachment.php?attachmentid=94347&d=1440460809
 
Nice groove! I really like the mix. Well done. I know the style of music uses a lot of repetition, but the verse part could use a little variation, or be just a bit more melodic perhaps? That was my first impression, but then I went back and listened to it a few more times and it started to grow on me. Still, it sounded a bit like chanting, or there was a touch of an accent, something I can't put my finger on. The chorus is fantastic. Right now I think the song is very good. Tweaking the verse a bit could make it special:)

Nice job!
 
Great tune! I like the mix of loops/live guitar. I wasn't sure what a hip hop indietronica song might be like but it works great.

Good vocals but my first instinct is to make them bigger, like doubled and/or soaked in reverb. And add some saturation or overdrive or something to make the rhythm guitar really shine. Maybe thicken the synth riff a bit with another octave? Some pitch correction would help the lead guitar I think, that's all the notes I got.
 
heres the thing the chorus sounds great! but the verses are kinda meh. you should do it with less autotune and more of a aggressive rap style. i like the music though, you should just maybe re record the verses.
 
Thank you for the feedback all and for the links, Robus.

I do agree about the verse, just a bit limited to vocal recording though. But we recorded more takes, we'll have to check them out.

Great that u heard the guitar, my ears aren't that sensitive, thanks!

Will try to tweak some more. And the accent you're hearing may be scandinavian :).
 
i really like the melody, it's nice and catchy. particularly, the chorus melody...although, i was hoping you would go back to the "it's good" line the second time too...but instead it's cut short and you go to the other line. not a big problem, and sometimes writers leave the catchiest part of a song to a minimum. that way, the listener can't wait to play it again and get to that part. i know it's a mixing forum, but you have a good catchy vocal line throughout, and i wanted to throw in my 2cents. ;)
 
So I have done some changes, would appreciate some feedback. I found some new verses, both different but lyrics the same ;)


 
I thought the singer has a good voice. Kind of a weird but cool reverb. I like how it switched from a single vocal track to a doubled/split vocal.

Instruments sound nice. But they sound programmed.
 
Thank you tripleM. Yes, the instruments are programmed, do they sound too programmed? Is there any common way to make them sound less programmed? :)
 
I like your new mix Around. Very atmospheric, good use of synths, nice reverb. You've got a great voice. The chorus especially sounds fantastic.

Programming MIDI instruments so that they sound natural is a hard thing to learn. Personally, I don't think it's an issue in your song. Electronic music is supposed to sound a little robotic--and not in a bad sense. Your synths and beats fine IMO. It's an issue that I face in every song I do because all my drums are programmed. It helps to study how real drum lines are put together. Something to pay attention to is the placement of the snare especially in relation to the beat. A lot of rock drummers will put the snare slightly behind the beat. Some will put the snare right on the beat, or ahead of it. Try those out and notice how it affects the groove. Behind the beat tends to create a more relaxed vibe, ahead sounds frenetic and aggressive. Sometimes the fills will be slightly on top of the beat while the overall groove is not. Play around with the timing of the kick and hats too.

The same goes for bass lines. Many bassists will play just behind the beat. A few play ahead. Huge effect on the feel of the track, either way. When I took up bass seriously after many years of playing guitar, I discovered that I had a strong tendency to play ahead of the beat. It took a full year of work to break that habit, but it still creeps in sometimes. In the process, I learned quite a lot that helps my programming (though all my bass parts are real now).

I suck at programming keyboards. As I use them in almost every song, I've had to learn to play passably with my right hand although I'm not a real keys player. I record the MIDI output and then go back and fix my mistakes manually!
 
Robus, thank you for the feedback and for the detailed answer regarding drum programming.

Yes, midi programming can be a pain but you gave me a lot of tips that I can work with. Good point on hitting the drum before or after the beat. It can really change the feel, as you said making it more relaxed or aggressive.

I will check out your stuff when I get home and study your technique :).
 
I'd be grateful for your comments. You won't find expert programming technique there, just another learner.
 
I was a bit surprised at first by the sense of space the reverb brings while the snare seems to sit at the front of the mix,it was quiet disturbing at the beginning but then the overall song is really catchy.

The vocals are nicely placed and the effects with the doubling really brings the chorus up. On the guitar solo part not sure but I would possibly doubled the guitar track with a more extreme EQ on the high end and cutting some bottom end and add subtle hints of saturation/distortion/grit on the guitar. (this is just me liking to try different thing but by no mean I'm a pro, so the above advice might be taken with a pinch of salt :) ). Really catchy song though
 
I'm not well versed in the mixing of this genre so what I like or dislike may not be applicable. :D
The auto tune (low verse parts) was a bit noticeable towards the latter part - so I have to ask - is the effect deliberate? If yes then no issues.
The chorus was...well outstanding. I didn't catch any out of tune guitar so maybe I missed it...:D
Love the reverb/echo on the vocals.
 
Thanks for the feedback. It's not autotune actually, it's footstomping while singing :p.

This is the final version by the way:

 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top