Has anyone here ever seen a Psychiatrist?

capnkid

capnkid

Optimus Prime
How did it help you?

I am having real trouble dealing with my life, where I'm at at this point in time, and my relationship with my wife.

It seems like everytime I open my mouth, my wife takes it as a personal attack. She won't talk to me, or open up to me. If she doesn't want to go to counseling together, would me going alone help me at least?
 
You'll have better luck with a therapist. With a therapist you'll have a more interactive session. Look for psychologists instead of psychiatrists. You may find family counselors in the yellow pages. It may take a bit of searching before you find a good fit, though.
 
Yeah, what he said. Pro help is good. A lot of times it's as simple as having someone to talk to.
 
capnkid said:
It seems like everytime I open my mouth, my wife takes it as a personal attack.
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I didn't know my wife was leading a double life. :)

Anyway, what Treeline said. These days, shrinks (psychiatrists - they are MD's) in general are into treating psychoses (serious mental illnesses) with medications, and not into psychotherapy.

If you work and have benefits, your employer may have an EAP (employee assistance program) that entitles you to a number of counselling related benefits at no cost to you. Ask your HR person. Or use your wife's if you're covered on her plan. :D

It would benefit you to talk about this with an objective and knowledgeable person, even if she won't go. However, don't try to bring her in after you've seen someone alone, or she might consider it a conspiracy. :)
 
crazydoc said:
. However, don't try to bring her in after you've seen someone alone, or she might consider it a conspiracy. :)
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Yeah - That's Rule No. 1 though 10. Your therapist is yours alone and not hers. Same for her - if she can't say stuff about you in confidence, she'll never say anything at all. If she ever does go to someone, her sessions are strictly private. Same for you.

If you go to someone together, remember that. No secrets in a couples session. The therapist can't then become "yours" or "hers." The therapist is for the two of you or neither. Otherwise, everything gets screwed up.
 
capnkid said:
How did it help you?

I am having real trouble dealing with my life, where I'm at at this point in time, and my relationship with my wife.

It seems like everytime I open my mouth, my wife takes it as a personal attack. She won't talk to me, or open up to me. If she doesn't want to go to counseling together, would me going alone help me at least?
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you can get counseling, stand on your head and spit nickles, etc etc and NONE of that will help....she has to be on board.....

maybe she'll go to counseling if her gay friend can go with you.....
 
if thats the only choice at the moment.. start by going alone.... then use that as a building block for educating your wife to effective communication.. until she gathers the strength to go

its very important to becoming a good listener and understanding the needs of each other... i think thats the quintessential meat and potatos of the relationship

people also need to undertstand the bad habits that put their relationship in jeparody... things such as pornography.. the longer the exposer.. the less the needs and desires of the spouse and depression.. these are well documented facts... this is another big contributor to divorce and not satisfying your role in the relationship

good luck with everything
 
JMarcomb said:
if thats the only choice at the moment.. start by going alone.... then use that as a building block for educating your wife to effective communication.. until she gathers the strength to go

its very important to becoming a good listener and understanding the needs of each other... i think thats the quintessential meat and potatos of the relationship

people also need to undertstand the bad habits that put their relationship in jeparody... things such as pornography.. the longer the exposer.. the less the needs and desires of the spouse and depression.. these are well documented facts... this is another big contributor to divorce and not satisfying your role in the relationship

good luck with everything
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if I didnt have porn Id be divorced by now....:D
 
Gidge said:
if I didnt have porn Id be divorced by now....:D
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goto section 3 verse 4 of the spousal psychology handbook...

it says that complications from pornography denial nearly doubles every year in the form of decreased spousal sexual drive and elevated depressive states

:D
 
capnkid said:
How did it help you?

I am having real trouble dealing with my life, where I'm at at this point in time, and my relationship with my wife.

It seems like everytime I open my mouth, my wife takes it as a personal attack. She won't talk to me, or open up to me. If she doesn't want to go to counseling together, would me going alone help me at least?
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Anyone who lives with a woman needs to say this daily affirmation. "I am not losing my mind."

Tell the bitch to shape up or hit the bricks. It will do wonders for your self-esteem and her attitude.
 
TexRoadkill said:
Anyone who lives with a woman needs to say this daily affirmation. "I am not losing my mind."

Tell the bitch to shape up or hit the bricks. It will do wonders for your self-esteem and her attitude.
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I did once or twice, but there are kids involved and that would have to be the very last resort.

Thank you for all the advice.
 
capnkid said:
I did once or twice, but there are kids involved and that would have to be the very last resort.
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Raising kids alone is easy compared to living with a crazy woman. I kicked out my ex and raised our baby alone for a year. It was tough but very worth it. The amazing thing was even with the cost of child care I suddenly had a few extra grand in my pocket every month.

Good luck dude.
 
You could always try, "Hey, baby, play your cards right and you might get lucky tonight!"
 
This is serious stuff; a counselor is probably a good idea. In the meantime:

Have you tried just laying out your feelings? So much happens in how we say stuff. Do your best to keep her pride intact. No blame. She has to trust that you are looking for a solution because you love her and want a mutually happy relationship. If she does not trust that, you'll dig the hole deeper.

Something as simple as "honey, you seem unhappy - is there anything I can do?". Even look for ways to draw out any anger she might have towards you: "I feel like you're angry with me, is there something we need to talk about?". Be ready to own up to issues that may be your fault.

I don't think problems can really be solved until both of you can completely swallow your pride. Someone has to go first. It really goes a long way if you can be the first one to do it.

If you do this and she still gives you the cold shoulder and won't to counseling with you...that does not bode well, but at least you'll know you did what you could.
 
The psychiatrist will deal with matters ranging from behavioural probelms to psychosis and often treat these, between sessions, with serious drug therapy - anti depressants throught to mood stabilizers & on to heavy metal anti psychotics etc.
Psychotherapy is, often, undertaken through a referral from a psychiatrist (usually an MD with psych added on as mentioned) to a psychologist (not an MD but specifically trained to deal with MH issues) to deal with deep seated matters that need to be brought forward over a series of regular & fairly intense sessions. Psychiatrist cost more too so the Psychologist doing the frequent, intesnse sessions is financially realistic too.
If you attended counselling for relationship problems and there's a behavioural problem one or both may be referred on & up...
Counselling, even solo, is a good start - it'll establish the "normalness" or otherwise of a situation and recommend strategies to begin to address it - strategies that would lead, hopefully, to joint sessions where the biggest problem of all would be addressed - communication.
Get some help mate - trying to do that sort, at the same time as living a life, of stuff without help will do your head in.
Oh & make some cathartic noise, record it & post it.
 
leddy said:
Even look for ways to draw out any anger she might have towards you: "I feel like you're angry with me, is there something we need to talk about?". Be ready to own up to issues that may be your fault. I don't think problems can really be solved until both of you can completely swallow your pride. Someone has to go first. It really goes a long way if you can be the first one to do it.
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That's a sage piece of advice.
 
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