Well, it sounds better than my first recording. That being said, you guys have a long ways to go.
As has been said, your big issues are fake-sounding midi instruments; thin, pitchy vocals; and weak drums.
For the midi, do some research into what instruments you're using find midi instruments that have a reputation for sounding realistic and learn to use them well. ("Humanize" is a term you'll probably hear a lot here.)
For the pitchiness of the vocals. Practice. Take vocal lessons. Sing with confidence. Don't throw out the 39 vocal takes you didn't use. Instead, replace the most egregious mistakes with a patch from one of the other takes. (BTW, your vocalist's falsetto sounds pretty good. Watch the pitch there too though.)
For the thinness of the vocals, record a second take. Make sure that the two vocal takes are identical performances (i.e. your timing and notes have to be spot on, but you can't just copy-paste the track). Designate one as the primary. Make two copies of that take. Apply tons of compression to the first copy, and apply reverb to the second. You now have 4 vocal takes. Adjust the levels of all 4 bearing in mind that you don't want to be able to consciously perceive anything except the original copy of the primary take.
Drums aren't my forte. Go with what CMB said.
Good input, and yes its definitely better than my first ever recording.
Another thing you could do with the vocals, though vomithats suggestion is good... is triple track the vocals and double track the harmonies...
Reason being is it, to me, makes a much wider, bigger voice.
the vocal takes must be similar in tone and timing as vomit said, but this method you can get away with it a bit more which might be good in this case.
Get 3 very very solid takes... or like vomit said, cut them together.. meaning.. you have take A and take B... Take A sounds good in the beginning but terrible in the end... and take B sounds terrible in the beginning but good in the end... then you splice the two together... take the beginning of A and chop of the rest .. and take the end of B and chop of the rest so now you have take A/B... get it? (this can be done with every sentence of the melody if needed, its called "punching in vocals"
ANOTHER thing that will help you sing... most singers sing 50% better when they are singing along to something... so once you get that 1st good "take" (spliced vocals)... but it doesnt sound fluid... then retrack the vocals again while your LISTENING to the franken-take. ever notice that you sing better when you sing to another singer? thats because its kind of a guide and it makes you feel safer and boosts your confidence... ALL things necessary to have a good vocal take.
ANYWAYS.... now that you have those 3 good takes... take the very best one and put it dead in the center. take the other 2 and pan 1 of them hard left and the other hard right and drop the volume of them a pretty good amount... they are morely there for support....
On the 2 side tracks... roll off the EQ at around 200hz... blend the 3 tracks the best you can so it sounds like 1 voice (it wont fully sound like one voice untill its fully in the mix and after this next step)... send all 3 to a Bus called Melody or Vocals or w/e the hell you want... use this bus and treat it as 1 voice.. EQ it, Compress it, and put a touch of reverb on it and there you have it... if done correctly you will have 1 massive/full sounding voice.
Harmonies always sound better properly double tracked.
You dont have to do any of this if you can get 1 solid take, compressed and reverbed and eq'd properly....