Yo PolarityDude....
could it be that you're just a bit weirded out by the sound of your voice? Doesn't sound like it's you singing? Stuff like that?
Because it's pretty common. I remember the first time I heard my vocals, I thought..."Gak!" (almost a quote ) and I ended up smothering it in chorus and reverb cuz I didn't know what a compressor did.
I guess what I'm wondering is...could it be that you're being overly critical and that it's not as bad as you think?
Just a thought man...
In a world without compressors, vinyl mastering would be darn near impossible.