Wee song lyric for comments

J

jimihey

New member
Those who know, know that I DO NOT DO LYRICS, tunes, guitaring, singing but not lyrics.

I have decided that I'm going to try.
This is about a band I play with.

It is all true.........................

"Bogle rides again"

Living room wannabee rock an roll band
a silver haired daddy with a mike in hand

you know you got problems
when the roadies look young
you gotta dodge groupies when the drummers your son.

don't look now but the bogles ride again

the bogles ride again
happenin embarasin' middle aged men
groove to a tune that you loved at ten
lock up granny cause the bogles ride again

used be cool bein' 5 pints down
now the prostates bigger and the six packs round
it's great to feel younger when the night gets old
cruisin in a ford 'cause the porche has been sold

don't look now..........

Hard to stay angry as an angry old man
the colours get grey and the curries get bland
it's nice to feel the pop shield cool on your lips
but you gotta watch your back when your swinging those hips

don't look now


I'll post the music later.......


All the best,

Iain
 
Hey Iain,

I love novelty tunes and this fits right in.

The rhyming is firm, the rhythm is solid and the scansion appears tight.

I dig the opening couplet.

I'd like to hear this sung w/ a thick accent, not like one of those fakey Sting, "I sing like I'm from New York" british voices.
 
a silver haired daddy with a mike in hand

lock up granny cause the bogles ride again

now the prostates bigger and the six packs round

but you gotta watch your back when your swinging those hips



This is my life. Nice blend of irony, sarcasm and fun.

I laughed, I cried, I had a good time.

Great job.

Can't wait to hear the tune. I'm thinking maybe a straight ahead pop rocker in the vein of a Nick Lowe type of thing.
 
This could be a great fun tune. I like it.

My only observation is you're mixing first person narrative and third person throughout the lyrics. Just go through and make sure the person is consistant.

for exampe, third person:

Living room wannabee rock an roll band
a silver haired daddy with a mike in hand

and first person narrative:

you know you got problems
when the roadies look young
you gotta dodge groupies when the drummers your son.

The only line that sounds funny to me is the "pop screen" line. Maybe use a line like:


Used to shake my sacariliac playing for tips
Now I gotta watch my back when I'm shaking my hips.


got mojo?
www.voodoovibe.com
 
Great stuff Iain (or Jimmy, whatever:D )

I'll have to show it to our ageing (but younger than me - he's still the right side of 40) Glaswegian guitarist.

"You gotta dodge groupies when the drummer's your son" is my favourite line.

Look forward to hearing the music

Garry
 
Hey, thanks chaps. The critic is so welcome. I am engaged in the vagaries of protools to bounce this wee thing to MP3.
(It is sung with a scottish accent..cause that's all I can do and it is fairly straightish folkandroll, because that's.......)

As an aside...why is it that I can take other peoples songs, overflow with stunningly executed and original ideas...create sounds of grace and beauty....(as if)
but when I approach my own music it's like...duh....duh...how do you prongramme drums again.....

Bizarre.
 
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