Wanna have some fun at our exes' expense?

dafduc

dafduc

New member
Chorus:
Sing ho!, for the hoor and take comfort, poor john,
Soon her looks and her money and pimp will be gone.

Verse:
Sweet Mindy had hair of a fine flaxen hue,
And she'd laugh as I kissed her pink orbs in a kneel,
But then one day she spurned me, "I couldn't love you,
For I must find a man whose tall lance makes me squeal!"

Toss a verse in - think "Sweet Molly Malone" for the meter. Though I'll probably apply a different melody. Sorry girls, you can play on the next one (unless you were involved in a lesbian relationship and would like to share verses. And photos!!!:eek: )

Anyone tosses in an original (useable) verse gets co-composer credit! If we get enough, we'll do this at Jamfest next year.:cool:

BTW - I was only married once, still am, so had to go back to college to find a girl to write about. And don't let the facts get in the way of a good story...;)

Daf (and can ye tell I went to the Renaissance Festival weekend last, me lads?)
 
Round Cheryl was randy, an eager dark lass,
with an eye for rough pleasure, and forbidden whim,
She, the night that we parted, pledged love to the last,
But next evening was seen in the arms of young Tim*.

* - (our light man)

Still true stories (Mindy didn't SAY she was looking for a "tall lance", but I have this feeling...), but I'm not above making something up.:D
 
Anyone else???

Prudenza was eager, a fiery Italian,
In my wagon we trysted, her panties enpursed,
Next day, told her girlfriends that I was no stallion
more schnauzer than steed, and more pickle than wurst!

I dunno what she actually told her girlfriends, but I KNOW what the issue was.:rolleyes:
 
On a roll... but running out of exes

Crazy-eyed Nancy, more stalker than belle,
She learned at my knee of the world, of the flesh,
Years later, I met her, amidst a dry spell,
She teased, then she cackled — a bitter, sour wench!

(Sorry about flesh/wench - it was more colorful than world/girl)
 
Five verses already - who needs you guys???

Me and Frannie was drunk, sure and I was still green,
We rolled on the grass, she was done, I withdrew,
Then in daylight I saw her, a hideous scene,
Mourned my stained knees, lost innocence, broken fly too!

It's like a whole song already. But if anyone's got a good one, I'll throw it in...

Daf (I know, Benny Hill wrote a couple of these a week.:rolleyes: )
 
Here's a more or less final take - names modified slightly to avoid slander suits, a few word swaps, one line change. Ratso said he might offer up a verse, too:

Sing ho!, for the hoor and take comfort, poor john,
Soon her looks and her money and pimp will be gone.

Sweet Mandy had hair of a fine flaxen hue,
And she'd laugh as I kissed her pink orbs in a kneel,
But then one day she spurned me, "I couldn't love you,
For I must find a man whose tall lance makes me squeal!"

Sing ho!, for the hoor and take comfort, poor john,
Soon her looks and her money and pimp will be gone.

Crazy-eyed Nanette, more stalker than belle,
She learned at my knee of the world, of the flesh,
Years later, I met her, amidst a dry spell,
She teased, then she cackled — a bitter, sour wench!

Sing ho!, for the hoor and take comfort, poor john,
Soon her looks and her money and pimp will be gone.

Me and Fannie was drunk, sure and I was still green,
We rolled on the grass, she was done, I withdrew,
Then in daylight I saw her, a sobering scene,
Mourned my stained knees, lost innocence, broken fly too!

Sing ho!, for the hoor and take comfort, poor john,
Soon her looks (??) and her money and pimp will be gone.

Lucienza was hungry, a fiery Italian,
In my wagon we trysted, her panties enpursed,
Next day, told her girlfriends that I was no stallion
more schnauzer than steed, and more gherkin than wurst!

Sing ho!, for the hoor and take comfort, poor john,
Soon her looks and her money and pimp will be gone.

Round Sharon was randy, an eager dark lass,
with an eye for rough pleasure, and forbidden whim,
She, the night that we parted, pledged love to the last,
But next evening was making the beast, astride Tim.

Sing ho!, for the hoor and take comfort, poor john,
Soon her looks and her money and pimp will be gone.
 
Sweet Julie lay panting dew sparkling upon her,
surely I'd given her the run for her money,
but as I rolled over after kissing her g'night
she hopped out and off to 'nother took flight !

These women they're cocky aye to be sure,
say they're a hoor can't say I do,
then call to you sadly when nought do you pay,
the attentions they crave, the love of the day.

<first one inspired, second one just for good measure>
 
mmm... Julie...

:D

I was hoping to maintain the ABAB rhyme scheme, but 'tis but a small point. Th'insipration's the thing!!!

Daf
 
Poor Paula the bloody was sexy for sure
And in my goth band she'd sing
And I made her mine for ever more
That night I earned my red wings!

Sing ho!, for the hoor and take comfort, poor john,
Soon her looks and her money and pimp will be gone.

Brenda was slender and fine in the sack
But I knew that I'd lost her one night
She awoke to Jennifer's bouncing rack
By her side with me on top taking a ride!

Sing ho!, for the hoor and take comfort, poor john,
Soon her looks and her money and pimp will be gone.

Sweet Traci, my favorite, I lost forever when
She came to my room to find clues
And there were the ear rings of Brenda and Jen
Three women in two days did I lose.

Sing ho!, for the hoor and take comfort, poor john,
Soon her looks and her money and pimp will be gone.

Punk Lisa was wild and fun for a time
But alas I could not keep this lass
She never forgave me for being a man
And not asking before entering her ass

Sing ho!, for the hoor and take comfort, poor john,
Soon her looks and her money and pimp will be gone.

Party Amy was crazy and hot for my shlong
But I lost her one night while on LSD
On the roof of a strip mall I coaxed off her thong
But three friends were watching to see what they could see.

Sing ho!, for the hoor and take comfort, poor john,
Soon her looks and her money and pimp will be gone.
 
Here's the final version of rats' verses (we did this offlist):

Red Paula the bloody was sexy for sure
And in my goth band she would gyrate and sing
And I made her my own starlet for ever more
That night that I earned me my scarlet red wings!

Sing ho!, for the hoor and take comfort, poor john,
Soon her looks and her money and pimp will be gone.

Brenda was slender and fine in the sack
(But I) knew that I'd lost her one revelrous night
She awoke to Jennifer's soft bouncing rack
By her side with me on top taking a ride!

Sing ho!, for the hoor and take comfort, poor john,
Soon her looks and her money and pimp will be gone.

Sweet Traci, my favorite, (I lost) forever when
Suspicious, she came to my room to find clues
And there were the earrings of Brenda and Jen
Three women in only two days did I lose.

Sing ho!, for the hoor and take comfort, poor john,
Soon her looks and her money and pimp will be gone.

Punk Lisa was wi-ld and fun for a time
But alas I could not keep this lithesome lass
She never forgave me for being a man
And not asking her before ent'ring her ass

Sing ho!, for the hoor and take comfort, poor john,
Soon her looks and her money and pimp will be gone.

(Party) Amy was crazy and hot for my shlong
But I lost her one night while on LSD
(On the) roof of a strip mall I coaxed off her thong
But three friends were watching (to see) what they could see.

Sing ho!, for the hoor and take comfort, poor john,
Soon her looks and her money and pimp will be gone.
 
Thanks, Scott!

Rats & I shoulda done this at voxfest, but time got away from us. I think we'll take a "Home for a Rest" approach and rock it hard, and trade verses, though we may still use the Molly Malone melody - it's such a good'n!!! The melody, I mean.

One last verse for good measure, and thanks to Studioviols for the idea of softening the blow a little:

This song's mostly rant, for are we not men?
Yet our tongues wag in cheek, not in misogyny,
For we're both men of business, we live by the pen,
And thus much bigger hooers than they'll ever be!

:D

Daf
 
Forced writing sucks...

Best I could do at work, without getting myself too worked up.

Ahh, Laura, so plump and rounded of thigh
A sweet and young thing, an innocent
Until the night when I first got her high,
Her groping and humping would not relent.
(She humped me till my cock was bent)

And Barb, such a dainty, her past left behind,
She really fucked like an angry beast.
Then once upon the throne, What should I find?
In my urine of flames, the stench of yeast.

Alas for Sally, such a smart pretty one,
For my misconception, she will be missed.
I thought her a virgin, this proved to be wrong,
For she begged me please to give her the fist.
 
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