Waiting & It's been a while...

[lifelyrics]

Well, I haven't been 'round these parts for a very long time. Hopefully, a few of you will check out my newest recording anyway, and I'm anxious to catch up on what I've been missing out on over here!
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8646020

 

[joeym]

What have you got going there in the background? Some kind of percussion? That definitely doesn't work. I would leave that out and just leave the piano on its own. Quite a good song.

Joey

 

[lifelyrics]

What have you got going there in the background? Some kind of percussion? That definitely doesn't work. I would leave that out and just leave the piano on its own. Quite a good song.

Joey

Yeah, well, I had been advised to try to add a little variation in my stuff, and my son, Lukas, played his "OneDrum" (handmade by him and my hubby), and then a tambourine track. I listened to it a few times, and got to where I missed it when I listened to just my piano & vox. I am not crazy about my vox already, so I thought it spiced things up a bit. I was kind of hoping for a couple more votes on the subject before I yank the added percussion. I may strip it down by tomorrow.
But, for today, thanks for listening, Joey. And I always appreciate additional ears for my meager attempts at making some music.

 

[onestu3]

Nice melody, and lyrics. I think that the drum thing can work but you have to make sure that it never goes out of time. I noticed a couple of times that it did. If you are playing with a click track and everything is in time then you can make drum samples and repeat them if you want. There are some tricks that are pretty obvious so I wont bore you with them but you can make this pretty cool I think. I hated the piano at first and by the end it had just become another part of the song, and that made it do its job and thats all that is needed, so by the end I liked the piano. I would like to hear a cleaner take on those drums and maybe a little less of an intro, I thought that :18 sec was a perfect starting point, but that is personal preference. Well thought out song and mix, I enjoyed it a lot!

 

[rayc]

Hello LL, long time no read!
The piano intro needs a little EQing - the bass is a little dominant.
The tambourine is fine - works in the places used those sounds distant.
The drum part - sounds too distant also - needs to be retracked with a closer mic & Then maybe pan drum L & tambourine R.
The stereo image needs some work I think:
- voice front & centre
- create a clear stereo image of the piano - you may need to throw in an Odub of the chorus chords played higher up as the range your using on the keyboard doesn't lend it self to a natural wide spread - to my ear there's more emphasis on the left hand notes.
- depending on how you deal with the piano you can place the drum & tambourine opposite each other in the spaces.
The vocals - yeah, mostly fine but I can hear some uncertainty in your delivery - you still don't believe in yourself enough. Track another set & see if you can put some more of your self into it.
- how about some harmonies - I know you can do nice harmonies.
To sum up - a good start, some retracking of percussion & vocal & work on the stereo image.
I look forward to the updates.

 

[lifelyrics]

Onestu3, Thank you so much for your thoughtful response! I did take out a bit of the intro today, and giving it a try. Took out the beginning part of the drum, where I think the main timing problem was, although I think there may be a spot or two I need to focus in on, and fix. Also, made some adjustments on the eQ of my piano (hopefully, it is a bit easier to listen to). I really appreciate your constructive criticism, and positive comments. As Ray pointed out, I'm not very sure of myself, and was thinking I probably should just keep my little songs to myself, until I got your feedback. I am encouraged, once again, to just keep trying to learn from folks here, even though my project is one of little significance in the world. So, Thanks a bunch!
p.s. I'll be posting a new mix later tonight, after I make my family's dinner, etc.!

 

[lifelyrics]

I look forward to the updates.

Hi Ray!
So nice to hear from you, and to glean more fine tuning from your amazing ears!
I had eQ'd my piano with too much bass, and as soon as you mentioned it, I recall it sounding overbearing to me, too, but I didn't focus in on it. Also, my only monitors are AT headphones, which means I probably don't hear near the bass others do. I'll need to keep it in mind.
I made several changes and adjustments today, based on the feedback I got here, and elsewhere. I've been at it for some time, today, and think I need to come back to it with fresh ears before I post an updated version.
My friend in Oregon is going to be sending me some harmony tracks to round out the song. She normally does high harmony, so maybe I'll even add something below. So far, I haven't heard anything for this song except the lead. Not sure where it's going. I still may decide to remove the OneDrum completely, based on Joey's feedback, and if I can't get the right timing and sound to make it all work.
So, after dinner time, I'll listen again, and post a new one tonight.
Thanks again, for your detailed comments!

 

[lifelyrics]

new mix uploaded...

- create a clear stereo image of the piano - you may need to throw in an Odub of the chorus chords played higher up as the range your using on the keyboard doesn't lend it self to a natural wide spread - to my ear there's more emphasis on the left hand notes.

Can you please explain more about how to create that clear stereo image? Did I fix it with the eQ adjustments, or do I need to do more adjusting?

- depending on how you deal with the piano you can place the drum & tambourine opposite each other in the spaces.

At Kacia's (my daughter) advice, I took out the drum (besides what Joey already said). She said it sounded African or reggae, and didn't fit the "country" feel of the rest of the song. She suggested an acoustic bass line, or fiddle. What do you think? does it need another instrument, or just leave it?

The vocals - yeah, mostly fine but I can hear some uncertainty in your delivery - you still don't believe in yourself enough. Track another set & see if you can put some more of your self into it.

Thanks for the suggestion to retrack my vox. I did a quickie last night, and am posting it tonight. I'm anxious to hear your take on it.

- how about some harmonies -

Once you hear my dear friend's angelic voice (she has agreed to do some harmonies for me), you will probably wonder why I don't have her record all of my stuff - lead and harmonies. But you already know the answer to that - she's in Oregon, and I'm in Southern California! Nevertheless, I'm excited at the prospect of developing an online recording relationship with her, since we used to only be able to record together on her seldom visits here!

 

[rayc]

Hi LL,
stereo image - that'll depend on how the piano was recorded. Is it in stereo already? If Y you need to bring up the higher notes in level a little so that they are as audible as the low notes. That would just mean raising the vol on the track of that side.
If you're not in stereo already you might use a VST or similar plug that will create a stereo image MDA has a free one that can be tweaked based on freqs to accentuate the image.
If you pop in an acoustic bass or even electric bass you'll have to play notes on it that won't be lost in the piano bass lines. You might try playing a bass line on the E & A of an acoustic guitar also - just to see if it can find a space.
Harmonies - well I heard the family harmonies you've recorded so you can do some lovely stuff already. A collab with a friend online is excellent & a geat way to get another set of ears involved.
I'll keep an eye out for your repost.

 

[gecko zzed]

The song itself is fine.

The song would work fine with just piano and vocals. I would like to hear the piano pushed back a bit and the vocals lifted a bit more (but that's a personal preference). However, pushing the piano back a bit may resolve some of the spatial issues raised by rayc.

I note the improvement in the singing performance since last I hear something from you. However, I do agree with Rayc that there is an element of uncertainty in the delivery.

I wasn't convinced by the 'wai-ai-aiting' that appears at around the two minute mark. I reckon a striaghter delivery would be fine.

But I note that things are progressing nicely

 

[valacirca]

Hmmm interesting... is this a praise song? Anyway... tbh, I really didn't dig this song at the beginning, but for some reason it grew on me. You definitely have a better lower register in your vocals. The higher parts didn't sound too great.

I also think the tambourine could definitely work. It takes away some possible monotony if the song were just straight off piano and vox.

'wai-ai-aiting' also doesn't work for me. maybe you could lose the staccato and a straight 'waaaaaaaaaaaiting' might be better.

 

[lifelyrics]

stereo image - that'll depend on how the piano was recorded. Is it in stereo already? If Y you need to bring up the higher notes in level a little so that they are as audible as the low notes. That would just mean raising the vol on the track of that side.

Yes, it’s recorded in stereo, but I haven't seen a tool that works as you described. But I toned down the bass notes, and, hopefully, evened out the piano sound with a 4 band eQ. Before, the first two bands (bass frequencies) were set much higher, and closer together. I can’t say I totally understand what I’m doing as I move things around, I’m just listening to what it does as I change it, and what sounds good at the time (in my headphones). You may also note that I haven’t touched the Q part, because I don’t notice much of a change whenever I’ve tried to play with that part. So, I have even less understanding of how I could effectively use that tool. Piano eQ settings (please see below for the pictures - it's the first image).

I would like to hear the piano pushed back a bit and the vocals lifted a bit more (but that's a personal preference). However, pushing the piano back a bit may resolve some of the spatial issues raised by rayc.

Hi Mike! It was so nice to hear from you! Thank you for your comments. Can you offer a bit of coaching, based on the pictures I included (piano is first, then the settings for my vocal track)? Oh, and I have a bit of reverb set for each of these tracks as well. I know you tried to help me understand the reverb once before, and you explained settings that would make something sound nearer/further away. I’ll go review that correspondence while I wait to hear from you guys, and see if it makes more sense to me now. I’m very pleased to hear you say you think I’m improving. I think I’m a slow learner with a lot of heart and fortitude!

Hmmm interesting... is this a praise song?
'wai-ai-aiting' also doesn't work for me. maybe you could lose the staccato and a straight 'waaaaaaaaaaaiting' might be better.

Well, it was a song born in search of a better way to deal with a difficult situation than a praise song. It has served its purpose, though, in that it has helped me find, and remember to stay in, a much better frame of mind, and heart, in dealing with conflict!
I really appreciate your comments, and will be retracking the vocals as you have suggested. Your and Mike’s comments was just what I needed to be convinced that will be the best for the song. I have had others say they really liked it (the staccato), then, one of my friends didn’t; so I was waiting to see if any other comments would weigh in on the subject. So, thanks again for listening, and telling me what you heard.