I'm no expert at all, so read what you will into this. The song sounds to me like an awesome 80s power-metal hit, and I think the arrangement and composition is sound indeed. The recording/mixing, however, stumbles on just about every front. Please don’t be discouraged by this, I’m only writing what I hope everyone else would write to me if I uploaded this. After all, that's why we're doing this!
In general, you should begin by removing any and all reverb plugins save whatever you have on the vocals. I think both the choice of reverb and the amount serves to obscure most elements in this mix, either directly or by placing them in very different places. Hold out on the reverb until it sounds a lot better dry. Then see if you need some. If it isn't reverb, say on the guitars, then think about how you can dampen the sound of the room you're recording in. Blankets and pillows - anything will do. The vocals are the only thing that sound pretty good, and even though I think they may be hi-passed a bit high, that may turn out to work perfectly once the rest of the issues are addressed. I’d leave it for now.
The snare sounds extremely compressed, either because it is or because it has little to no top end or both. For this type of song, you might want to try the exact opposite – very little low end, and a lot more of the string-thingy’s on the bottom side. Add a huge plate reverb with a decent amount of pre-delay, but perhaps don’t mix it as high as they did in the 80s ;-) The snare should at least be a lot snappier.
The kick is mostly “woof”/”oomph” on my monitors, and forced me to listen at quite low volumes – especially at the end. What is lacking here is the “click”-sound, which should be a lot more audible whilst the “woof” sort of just fills in a short space after it. Try and find some of the click, turn it up a lot and lower the volume of the kick overall. EDIT: There might not be a click on your recording. If this is the case, I believe it's fairly easy to get a hold of a sample or two and trigger them when the kick plays. I've never tried that myself, though.
The cymbals are obscured by something, but I’m not skilled enough to hear exactly why. I sort of hear the moment they are struck, but more for a brief time after before they prematurely disappear. Not sure what that is about, but it might sort itself out once the guitars are addressed.
You don't need to have much string and attack on the bass for this genre,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3yScwtYzKE , but a little more would go a long way. There are massive bass sounds out there with a lot of string-sound as well, I've always been partial to this compromise
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CprfjfN5PRs
I think I heard some toms in there. Turn those suckers up
I think some hi-passing of the guitars are in order, to get some room for the kick and bass guitar. Maybe a shelf too, but definitely look for some mud and boost the mids and high mids – there should be plenty of room with that vocal.
Those are my two cents. You can make really rapid progress here, so you should have a lot of fun with it!