obsoleteman
New member
Pianos are unfair. Pianists are cheaters......Anytime you can play a line, step on a sustain pedal and while the last phrase is still ringing you can escape and go to the next one? Not fair! That would be like being able to leave yourself mowing the lawn at home while you go to Dairy Queen for a Sundae. You don't get to do that on a Guitar! You have to stay there and see it through. I am in protest. There are no Sundaes for Guitarists. It is like raising the flag at Pancho's and they just look at you as if to say. "What?.."
And then there is what I like to call "The Midi Factor". When they came out with midi (a machine that plays the keyboard for you in the voice of any instrument you need) they made the controller a keyboard. Thanks a lot. If you want a set of vintage Slingerland drums? There it is, right on your keyboard. Now I ask you, what good does that do the guitarist with the weird hairdo? Does it help the creepy little lead singer who needs an attitude adjustment? Again, raise the flag and nothing....No service, no taco and certainly no burrito. And when the Pianist wants to get up off the piano bench and sit down at the Organ? Well, you just Hammer Down Piano Player! Or the Harpsichord...EVEN THE GLOCKENSPIEL looks like a keyboard. I have had dreams that I smile into the mirror and my teeth resemble a keyboard.
Lastly, there is the tuning. Pianos require a "Tempered Tuning". What that means is you have to tune the strings slightly flat so that the piano will be in tune in all keys, not just a few of them. Can you imagine if you tuned yer Guitar "slightly flat"? The entire ensemble would be looking at you in contempt. You don't get to get away with that with guitar! They would be asking you. "What's the matter with ya? Has your brain finally been Whammied 'til it doesn't work anymore?" And when you buy a new Midi controller it is in tune....forever! You never have to change strings because yours have become tarnished and dead. As a Pianist, they ask you for a note so they can tune their guitar and you patiently play "A" and wait another two million years until the guitar player gets it in tune. And heaven help us if it is one of those guitarists with a tin ear. (yes they do exist).
That is it for me, the rant of the day. Next I will take on electronic drummers and artificial intelligence.
And then there is what I like to call "The Midi Factor". When they came out with midi (a machine that plays the keyboard for you in the voice of any instrument you need) they made the controller a keyboard. Thanks a lot. If you want a set of vintage Slingerland drums? There it is, right on your keyboard. Now I ask you, what good does that do the guitarist with the weird hairdo? Does it help the creepy little lead singer who needs an attitude adjustment? Again, raise the flag and nothing....No service, no taco and certainly no burrito. And when the Pianist wants to get up off the piano bench and sit down at the Organ? Well, you just Hammer Down Piano Player! Or the Harpsichord...EVEN THE GLOCKENSPIEL looks like a keyboard. I have had dreams that I smile into the mirror and my teeth resemble a keyboard.
Lastly, there is the tuning. Pianos require a "Tempered Tuning". What that means is you have to tune the strings slightly flat so that the piano will be in tune in all keys, not just a few of them. Can you imagine if you tuned yer Guitar "slightly flat"? The entire ensemble would be looking at you in contempt. You don't get to get away with that with guitar! They would be asking you. "What's the matter with ya? Has your brain finally been Whammied 'til it doesn't work anymore?" And when you buy a new Midi controller it is in tune....forever! You never have to change strings because yours have become tarnished and dead. As a Pianist, they ask you for a note so they can tune their guitar and you patiently play "A" and wait another two million years until the guitar player gets it in tune. And heaven help us if it is one of those guitarists with a tin ear. (yes they do exist).
That is it for me, the rant of the day. Next I will take on electronic drummers and artificial intelligence.
