The Death of Mr. Phone (An Anthropomorphic History of Telegraphy and Telephony)

[propman]

Ladies and gentlemen (and/or bitches and assholes ),
lend me your ears, for -- as always, I'm not too certain if I've hit the mark with this mix. I started recording this tune a few years ago and just today took the initiative to mix it. Lots a' trouble with this one. It's not incredibly ornate or anything like that but between collaborators having to bale and the subsequent style changes made to accommodate that fact, I got burned out on it until very recently.

Lyrics, mix, musicianship, vocal technique ... whatever you want to nitpick, please do.

Mix #1 - 4/9/14 [MP3]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/65316259/The%20Death%20of%20Mr.%20Phone.mp3[/MP3]
Mix #2 - 4/10/14 [MP3]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/65316259/The%20Death%20of%20Mr.%20Phone%20(Mix%202).mp3[/MP3]
Mix #3 - 4/11/14: [MP3]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/65316259/The%20Death%20of%20Mr.%20Phone%20(Mix%203).mp3[/MP3]
Mix #4 -4/11/14: [MP3]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/65316259/The%20Death%20of%20Mr.%20Phone%20(Mix%204).mp3[/MP3]

Lyrics:
Mr. Phone Died (x7)

I knew his older sister, Dot
To whom her brother meant a lot
And when I told her he had crashed
Good ol' Dot made a mad dash

But when she got to the hospital
It took her too long to say too little
He'd flat-lined and made the big leap
And she couldn't leave her message after that beep

I tried to speak at the service
But I lost it which made me nervous
Dot came to the rescue
Taking the lectern with her nephew

Their eulogy was a nice one
They knew just how to push our buttons
He prank called us then hung up 'till the very end (Is your refrigerator running?)
But now he cannot try again

 

[rayc]

Good song Adam.
I enjoyed it & the almost doo wop stylings too.
there were 2 or 3 points that had a loud ess issue but apart from that it works for me as is.
Lyrically - cute punning story I'd rather you not haved rhymed crashed & dash(ed)
And when I told her that he had crashed
To the hospital Good ol' Dot dashed
would have suited me better.

 

[propman]

Good song Adam.
I enjoyed it & the almost doo wop stylings too.
there were 2 or 3 points that had a loud ess issue but apart from that it works for me as is.
Lyrically - cute punning story I'd rather you not haved rhymed crashed & dash(ed)
And when I told her that he had crashed
To the hospital Good ol' Dot dashed
would have suited me better.

Thanks, Ray! Could you point out the words which have the ess issues? I thought I'd dealt with them all.
(And ... yes, "dot dashed" would have been funnier (and rhyme-ier) ... but I can't change it now. Thanks a lot for showing me up!)

 

[jimmys69]

Good song right there.

 

[rayc]

Adam,
It may be streamer compression BUT
the t in meant the sh in dash quickly followed by sh in she.
mainly in the verse verse after the intro & 1st line after that.

Dot Dash is a cool song too!

 

[jm67]

Love it! Very cool song. Can't wait for the sequel about the abacus and the calculator...
Only mix issue I noticed was the gulp for breath before the final "again" - you might edit that out.

 

[propman]

Good song right there.

Thank you, Jimmy! I appreciate you taking the time to listen.

Adam,
It may be streamer compression BUT
the t in meant the sh in dash quickly followed by sh in she.
mainly in the verse verse after the intro & 1st line after that.

Dot Dash is a cool song too!

No, I definately hear what you're talking about and nip that in the bud in a little while. The mistake I made was using a de-esser that works on transient detection instead of the less subtle frequency-detection type that I've used with great success in the past. Ever since I switched, I've heard a lot of complaints about the ess-ness in my songs. I'll switch back and dump the new one at once!

By the way, I listened to Dot Dash (by Wire, yes?) and I quite liked it! I might check out some more of their tunes.

Love it! Very cool song. Can't wait for the sequel about the abacus and the calculator...
Only mix issue I noticed was the gulp for breath before the final "again" - you might edit that out.

Thank you very much! About the gasp at the end: I actually left that in intentionally. I realize something done with a purpose doesn't always mean it's pleasing so I'm open to the critisism ... but I though it was more dramatic to have that gasp and made the space feel less empty. It gives some kind of cue that the last note is coming.

The sequal (The Abacus and the Calculator) isn't going to happen unless I can get Bob Dorough to help out.
That'd be fun!

 

[propman]

OK, here's the revised mix with what I consider to be sufficient de-essing and the exclusion of the "gulp for breath" that jm67 mentioned (which I was hesitant about doing as ... I may have actually added it after the fact ... but if it's better, it's better). Thoughts?

[MP3]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/65316259/The%20Death%20of%20Mr.%20Phone%20(Mix%202).mp3[/MP3]

 

[Mr Clean]

I listened to this yesterday and thought I commented but obviously not.

Back to back, the 2nd mix sounds much better to me. Nice and crisp, very nice vocals. Almost like listening the Rufus Wainwright.

I have nothing to add but I think it sounds great, great song

 

[propman]

I listened to this yesterday and thought I commented but obviously not.

Back to back, the 2nd mix sounds much better to me. Nice and crisp, very nice vocals. Almost like listening the Rufus Wainwright.

I have nothing to add but I think it sounds great, great song

Thank you very much! I'm glad you like it! One question, if I may: where do you stand on the "gulp for breath" debate?

 

[rayc]

Mix two is Da Pooh!
You fixed the sss? The three I mentioned seem to be aggressively in place still.
I'm just a bit sensitive to the things I think.
The song is just plain cool fun.
Wire are a superb band - if you get the chance buy the Pink flag or the compilation On Returning album on ebay - just amazing. I scored a three album pack for about $20 which was great to replace my cassettes. Try their song I Am The Fly on utub too.

 

[propman]

Mix two is Da Pooh!
You fixed the sss? The three I mentioned seem to be aggressively in place still.
I'm just a bit sensitive to the things I think.
The song is just plain cool fun.
Wire are a superb band - if you get the chance buy the Pink flag or the compilation On Returning album on ebay - just amazing. I scored a three album pack for about $20 which was great to replace my cassettes. Try their song I Am The Fly on utub too.

I'm quite sensitive so "sss" too but I thought I was pretty harsh with the de-esser the second time around; bordering on abnormal, I thought. Is "Da Pooh" good? I only changed the two thing I mentioned (plus some mouth noise that bothered me in the beginning) and you seem to think I did an insufficient job on the issue you brought up so, unless eliminating mouth noise and gasping really impressed you, I'm not sure why you'd be using "Pooh" in a ccomplimentary way.

 

[Mr Clean]

Thank you very much! I'm glad you like it! One question, if I may: where do you stand on the "gulp for breath" debate?

To be honest, I didn't mind it in the first mix. I like that feel of vocals with breaths included sometimes but I also like polished sounds and all noises removed for the tight, pristine recordings. I guess things like that are personal taste.

 

[DM60]

Listening to the 4-10 version. I heard the essing, I didn't think it was bad. Everything sounded in place.

My only comments, which has nothing to do with the mix, I would remove Mad before dash, seems like you had to jam it in and killed the flow. A dash would work. Then on beep, with this style, you could have hold it longer and do a barbershop quartet kind of sound (some kind of fun with the harmonies). I think that would really sound cool here.

Fun song, I listened mainly because the lyrics were so interesting. Cool tune.

 

[VomitHatSteve]

I like it! Very TMBG.

I heard some weird lip smacks and overly-loud t's in the low harmony on the left at the beginning. I think they're not worse than anywhere else in the song, but the arrangement there really brings them out.

The sibilance didn't sound too bad to me in the second mix.

 

[heatmiser]

Nice work here!

I'm at work now and haven't heard the new mix, but honestly the first one sounded fine to me. I didn't notice excessive sibilance or lip smacking or whatever, but I normally don't focus in on that kind of stuff anyway.

I really liked the one line, "it took her too long to say too little"...very nice.

 

[Greg_L]

I know the vocals are the focus of this song, but they're kind of killing me in the mix. They seem way hot and out front to me. Lip smacky, a little sibiliant, very in my face and in my ears. It seems like the vocal compression is kind of harsh, or you sang while eating the mic. Lol. It's off-putting to me. The vocal fry technique doesn't work for me either, but that's just personal taste. I'd rather hear the vocals on a song like this a little more "vintage" sounding. Softer, more in the mix, more Elvis in Sun Studios and less Britney Spears in Pro Tools. Haha. On the plus side, the backing tracks sound great. Good bass, keys, guitar. Nice old school street corner feel and melody. I just don't like the vocal treatment.

 

[TripleM]

Really clear vocals. Nice harmonies. Really good singing all around. Liked the piano on the right side. Good low end.

I thought the mix was a little heavy on the right side. There isn't enough energy on the left side to counter balance the piano on the right. There is a guitar over there, and this might be a case where the meters look balanced. But I think the piano has more high-mid energy, making it *seem* louder. Not sure. But on phones, it leans toward the right.

Maybe take just a bit out of the vocal in the "harsh range" - like maybe 2500hz? Just a bit. There is just a hint of harshness there.

I didn't notice a ton of difference in the three mixes. But mix #1 had the least vocal harshness. Sorry if that send you back to the drawing board.

 

[propman]

OK, so, here are two new mixes. Both have everything said taken into account (I believe) including Greg's suggesting of trying to make the vocals fit into the music a bit better. The only difference between mixes is number four has a slightly louder lead vocal with a smidgen (a very tiny smidgen) more mid-range than number three. Tell me what you think, people!

Mix #3 - 4/11/14: [MP3]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/65316259/The%20Death%20of%20Mr.%20Phone%20(Mix%203).mp3[/MP3]
Mix #4 -4/11/14: [MP3]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/65316259/The%20Death%20of%20Mr.%20Phone%20(Mix%204).mp3[/MP3]

 

[propman]

I like it! Very TMBG.

I heard some weird lip smacks and overly-loud t's in the low harmony on the left at the beginning. I think they're not worse than anywhere else in the song, but the arrangement there really brings them out.

Thank you! I've tried to take care of that with the new mixe(s).

Nice work here!

I'm at work now and haven't heard the new mix, but honestly the first one sounded fine to me. I didn't notice excessive sibilance or lip smacking or whatever, but I normally don't focus in on that kind of stuff anyway.

I really liked the one line, "it took her too long to say too little"...very nice.

Thank you for listening, Pete. You're never too fussy about things. You just hear music and know whether or not you think it sucks. Sometimes I wish I were a little more like that because I find myself listening to really good songs that I like a lot and sometime thinking something like, "man, why didn't the engineer catch that horrible sibilance in the reverb? How could they have released it like this?!" People around me always think I'm being a snobby jerk ... and I probably am.

I'm glad you like that line. It's my favorite too. I probably got a smug, cleaver little grin when I came up with it.

I know the vocals are the focus of this song, but they're kind of killing me in the mix. They seem way hot and out front to me. Lip smacky, a little sibiliant, very in my face and in my ears. It seems like the vocal compression is kind of harsh, or you sang while eating the mic. Lol. It's off-putting to me. The vocal fry technique doesn't work for me either, but that's just personal taste. I'd rather hear the vocals on a song like this a little more "vintage" sounding. Softer, more in the mix, more Elvis in Sun Studios and less Britney Spears in Pro Tools. Haha. On the plus side, the backing tracks sound great. Good bass, keys, guitar. Nice old school street corner feel and melody. I just don't like the vocal treatment.

(It's Britney, bitch!) I've tried taming them a little, backing off on the compression and de-smacking everything. Up until you used the term, I'd never heard of the vocal fry technique. From the sound of it, I thought it meant recording too hot or something but I think -- from my massive research -- that you're talking about the kind of gritty sound I go into sometimes. You know, the whiny Don Henley thing. Right? ... I like that.

Really clear vocals. Nice harmonies. Really good singing all around. Liked the piano on the right side. Good low end.

I thought the mix was a little heavy on the right side. There isn't enough energy on the left side to counter balance the piano on the right. There is a guitar over there, and this might be a case where the meters look balanced. But I think the piano has more high-mid energy, making it *seem* louder. Not sure. But on phones, it leans toward the right.

Maybe take just a bit out of the vocal in the "harsh range" - like maybe 2500hz? Just a bit. There is just a hint of harshness there.

I didn't notice a ton of difference in the three mixes. But mix #1 had the least vocal harshness. Sorry if that send you back to the drawing board.

I tried implementing some of your suggestions and I think I fixed everything. What do you think?

Oh, by the way, you said "the three mixes" while there were only two. you may have listened to the same mix twice. For future reference, I post new mixes both in a reply to the thread and on the original post.
Thanks again!

Listening to the 4-10 version. I heard the essing, I didn't think it was bad. Everything sounded in place.

My only comments, which has nothing to do with the mix, I would remove Mad before dash, seems like you had to jam it in and killed the flow. A dash would work. Then on beep, with this style, you could have hold it longer and do a barbershop quartet kind of sound (some kind of fun with the harmonies). I think that would really sound cool here.

Fun song, I listened mainly because the lyrics were so interesting. Cool tune.

Thanks for listening and calling my lyrics "interesting!" Come to think of it, though ... it may not have been a good idea to invite lyric critiques. The vocals have been done for a year or more and I have no intention of re-recording them. I'm stuck on it... But, I did try to level out the mix and take some of the edge from the vocals.