Songwriter song

M

mikeh

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I had a melody and a chord progression in my head for about a month....and I knew I wanted the hook to be "It's Impossible To Know" - finally 2 nights ago the muse came to me with a story to tell. I haven't tracked it yet - but I thought my fellow songwriter's would appreciate the story line

It's Impossible To Know

Verse
How many miles, of long forgotten travels
While life unravels, with nothing much to show
How many tears were shed along the way,
Sad to say, it's impossible to know

Verse
I lost my soul, for a chance to tell my stories
Can't say I'm sorry, it's the price I choose to pay
A suitcase full of songs, my amp and old guitar,
A rusty car, I just need a place to play

Chorus
A vagabond, with a story and a song
I made my choice, doesn't matter if it's wrong
Is there a future, or just another show,
It's impossible, impossible to know

Bridge
I had a family, a baby and a wife
But my destiny was a different kind of life
I left it all and headed for the highway
It seems impossible, but I have to do it my way

Verse
A humble minstrel, with tales of sad remorse
Who lost his course, no direction left to go
Was it worth this penance that I'm paying
All I'm saying, it's impossible to know

Chorus and out.........

Copyright: Dragons Cove Music
2008
 
Reads extremely well mikeh. The only things that popped up were the words "amp" and "vagabond". They seemed to be out of place...for me at least. Minor really, but I thought I'd give you what came to mind. I really like the rhyme between the last word of line 1 and the middle of line 2 - very cool there....:cool:
 
The 'wandering minstrel' theme is not new, and this set of lyrics readily brings to mind songs and images of the dusty traveller, guitar on back, eking out an existence from lonely town to lonely town, desolate bar to desolate bar. Hmm . . . I guess it's a bit tricky to find any theme that has been tried before!

Lyrically, the song is nicely crafted, though it does readily conjure up (for me, at least) those stereotypical images. It's for easy to imagine this ending up as a track with a strong country flavour. But it would be interesting to see what happens if you resist the push in that direction and take it somewhere else. That might give it the unexpected twist that would make this thematic song a bit different.
 
Thanks for the feedback!

ido1957 - Interestingly, those two specific words kind of rub me also. At first I did not see this guy with an amp (nor did I feel it completely worked as a lyric)....but, I guess this character wants to be ready for any type of gig that comes along.....so I gave him an amp:D Vagabond is an awkward word......but it kind of sums this guy up (I checked the dictionary to make sure), so I went with it.

gecko zzd - I do agree the lonely mintral theme has been done.....but as you indicate, almost every story has been told......it often is a matter of finding a new way to tell it. I'm hoping this story is no more cliche' than tales of hard working hard drinking men, broken hearts or love in it's many forms. Candidly, when characters come to me with their stories, I simply try to tell the stories with what I hope is reasonably well crafted writing and don't worry too much if the subject matter has been told previously. I was thinking the story was not too cliche'......but as you point out, it is an often told tale and may be more cliche' than I anticipated. Musically, it will be going more of a Dave Matthews type feel vs. a "country" feel (and you are correct a country feel would be too obvious).

I respect both of you as lyricists, having read several of your lyrics and your fair, well thought out responses to the lyrics of others. I always welcome honest and meaningful feedback. I wrote this Tuesday night and tweaked a few words last night........I'll now go back and try to improve the lyrics (if not the story line)
 
mikeh said:
At first I did not see this guy with an amp (nor did I feel it completely worked as a lyric)....but, I guess this character wants to be ready for any type of gig that comes along.....so I gave him an amp:D Vagabond is an awkward word......but it kind of sums this guy up (I checked the dictionary to make sure), so I went with it.)
Click to expand...

I wondered about 'amp' at first, because the image that first springs to mind is that of someone trudging down the road. But . . . he's got a car, and there ain't nothing wrong with having an old Fender twin in the boot (trunk). So I'm ok with it. Vagabond is a delicious word, and describes the person perfectly, so I'd keep it. I'd be more worried about "but I have to do it my way".
 
Interestingly, both ido1957 and gecko zzed pointed out the same lyrics that I had doubts about (the words "amp" and the phrase "I have to do it my way"). I guess while my inner muse told me these words did not fit.......I needed outside voices to convince me. (Perhaps I hear the voices inside my head so often I try to shut them out:D)

So I made a couple of changes - which I think work better. Thanks guys for making me try a little harder.


From
A suitcase full of songs, my amp and old guitar,
To
A suitcase full of song, my beat up ol' guitar

From
I left it all and headed for the highway
It seems impossible, but I have to do it my way
To
I left it all, to follow a frail dream
Traded Heaven for Hell, impossible as it seems
 
Those changes work okay for me...
How about about = "Hand me down guitar" or "His daddy's old guitar" ?
Well maybe not....:)
 
mikeh said:
Interestingly, both ido1957 and gecko zzed pointed out the same lyrics that I had doubts about (the words "amp" and the phrase "I have to do it my way"). I guess while my inner muse told me these words did not fit.......I needed outside voices to convince me. (Perhaps I hear the voices inside my head so often I try to shut them out:D)

So I made a couple of changes - which I think work better. Thanks guys for making me try a little harder.


From
A suitcase full of songs, my amp and old guitar,
To
A suitcase full of song, my beat up ol' guitar

From
I left it all and headed for the highway
It seems impossible, but I have to do it my way
To
I left it all, to follow a frail dream
Traded Heaven for Hell, impossible as it seems
Click to expand...

As I noted before, I had a think about 'amp', and in the end thought it was okay. "A suitcase full of song" is a wonderful phrase, but is let down by the cliche of "my beat up ol' guitar". Maybe something like "my rusty-stringed guitar" as an alternative?

You don't often see "frail" in a song, yet perversely, I'm not keen on it (you can't win, hey). Other adjectives I'd be thinking about include "faint", "fading", "fragile" or "distant".

Although I commented earlier on "do it my way", I like "it seems impossible" and the way that phrase runs through the song. Maybe keep it, and lose the "heaven and hell", and play with the end a bit, e.g "it had to be this way"
 
gecko-zzed & ido1957

It's interesting that you both offer alternate ideas for "beat-up ol' guitar" - it would seem that cliche' phrase bothers you both. I agree it is cliche' but I want something that allows the listener to picture the guitar (if they choose) and "beat up" allows plenty of room for imagination. I do like "rusty stinged guitar" - but when I try to form the words, I think they would be hard to articulate while singing.

I'm attending a meeting of the local NASI (Nashville Association of Songwriters) tomorrow morning......and we can each bring a song to be critiqued by our peers. I'm gonna bring my beat up ol' rusty stringed, hand me down guitar and perform this song - and I'm sure I will run your suggestions through the gauntlet along with what ever my final product may be by 10:00am tomorrow - and then combine that with the 10 or 12 opinions I get tommorow.............and then probably start a complete re-write:D
 
You just told me life's story!!!!
IS it to late for me to start over..I have thrown everything away for this art!!!

Nice song man...keep it comming!!!!:)
 
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