Songs Inspired - by Brief Encouters

M

mikeh

New member
I rarely post lyrics - but last Saturday we did a gig and this rather attractive, well dressed lady comes in. During a break the bass player and I talked to her, and it was clear she was half way to drunk, had a foul mouth and was not nearly the lady she appeared to be. She left after one set - but she did inspire these lyrics - which almost came as is, during a 40 minute drive home from the club (with a minor re-write the next day).

I don't think this is something I can use with my publisher, it is a little cliche and the title phrase is a little hard to spit out (although I still sent it in for copyright - cause you never know). But I thought I would share it with the writers on this site - as an example how a brief encounter can create a song.

Street Smart Broad

Verse
I've seen every game a man can play
To try to get a woman to let him have his way
And I know every single trick in the book
A woman can use to get a man to look
I ain't afraid to say what I see
I don't really care what people think about me
I may be offensive, but I'm not a fraud
I'm a small town, big mouth, street smart broad

Verse
I work in a diner, tend bar at night
I drink with the big boys, I know how to fight
Now I can look pretty, look good in a skirt
But I ain't afraid to get my hands in the dirt
I've felt all the heartache, heard all the lies
From one night stands with too many guys
You can say what you may, but I'm not a fraud
I'm a small town, big mouth, street smart broad

Chorus
I'm a street smart broad and I'm tough as hell
A street smart broad, you can probably tell
That I'm not a lady, but I'm not a fraud
I'm a small town, big mouth, street smart broad

Bridge
Now I can act classy, if I need to be
But that's not something that's expected of me
You can dress me up in make up and high heeled shoes
Just don't hand me a bottle of booze

Chorus

Copyright 2006 Lyrics & Music: M. Helgesen
 
I love it!

Close my eyes and I can hear it being sung. And you could sing it in the 3rd person if you wanted to (would have a slightly different feel) - but would be more comfortable for a bearded male vocalist :)

Great stuff - isn't it nice when it just trots out for you? It sounds like it almost wrote itself :)
 
Cool lyrics....they definitely read well and put the point across nicely....Good pattern and rhyming.

Yeah the title is a tongue twister. :)

Maybe hold on to it and it will rewrite into something more usable....

As mentioned, it's always nice when you get an inspiration and the song literally writes itself..... :cool:
 
She used to work in a diner,
Never saw a woman look finer,
I used to order just to see her walk across the floor.

That's Neil Young, but I like yours better....because there's something about a woman that could drink you under the table with one hand and steal your cigarettes with the other that's just so damn appealing.

Good work.
 
Thanks for the kind words. It is nice when a song writes itself. While the rhymes are not overly complex and certainly aren't among the most creative I've written, they tell the story. The hardest part was trying to remember the words until I could write them down - once I got home from the gig. As indicated, this lady was too much of a character for me not to write something.

I often write about charactors who are on the low end of the food chain (given that I've been a "gigging" musician for almost 40 years - I've certainly had exposure to plenty of those types of people). Basic lyrical phrases seem to work best with those types of story lines. The last couple of years I've been writing a lot in a country genre (since that's what my publisher is most effective with), simple stories, told with simple words and basic progressions (I rarely need more than 6 chords in a song).

Given that I don't feel this song is strong enough to persue it will end up on a CD of stuff I've written for my own entertainment (vs. something that I try to develop for publishing) I can probably get one of the female vocalists I work with to track it as a favor.
 
I think I used to be married to her....lol

Well written lyric. Post a link when you finish the demo


chazba
 
Nice song. Definately a tongue twister at points, though! Which, if pulled off properly could really make the song special. The only thing that I didn't enjoy is the use of "fraud" - it just seemed as though it was included for the rhyme first and foremost, and the content was an after thought. Does that make sense? Just seemed like a forced rhyme, I guess you could say. Of course I don't have a better suggestion, but I thought I'd throw my .02 in anyway.... Good work!
 
andyhix - fraud is indeed a forced rhyme. The premise of the song (written at 3:00am while driving home from a gig) was the phrase small town big mouth redneck broad (changed to street smart - since Gretchen Wilson already sings about a redneck woman (and redneck is almost too cliche') I went with street smart broad - candidly, I had trouble finding a rhyme for broad.

So......I went with fraud and given that it is not a song I feel has enough commercial potential to justify a lot of re-write effort - I just stayed with that.

Good observation!!
 
rhymezone.com said:
1 syllable:
aud, awed, baud, bawd, braud, braude, claud, claude, clawed, flawed, fraud, glaude, gnawed, jawed, laud, laude, maud, maude, mod, saud, sawed, staude, thawed

2 syllables:
abroad, applaud, defraud, mail fraud, maraud
Click to expand...

Might be able to do something with flawed or applaud?? The rest, I'd doubt it.
 
Flawed could work, "say what you may, I may be flawed' I'm not a lady, I may be flawed", etc. but it doesn't seem to be a significant improvement to the general story line (a horse apiece).

My own fault for choosing a key word like "broad"

I appreciate your input!!!
 
Or rid of broad. Use girl or lady. Opens up options. Not an ingenious comment, I'm sure you thought it...
 
albertm,

I did indeed torment over how badly I wanted to use broad. It's just that....she was a broad. She was not a girl and most certainly she wasn't a lady. In fact when we walked away after talking to her, my bass player said "that's one crazy broad".

I would be concerned that the body of the song would lose it's relevance if the story line references a girl or a lady (in fact one of the key phrases indicates that she isn't a lady).

I do very much appreciate your thoughts!!!
 
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