song i wrote

[Sanjanjoseph]

what you think....im kinda new at song writting...so lend me your thoughts
this is up beat and pop-rock, alternitive feel..its called "time for nowhere":

you walk you talk
and you smile back at me
i take a breath
i take a chance

will you take a chance
if you'd please
this weight is far to great for me
in a laugh
in your eyes
i see my reflection
are you scared as i

its one two three and times up
its time to go
but its time for nowhere
i throw a dare and stare at you
and you act quickly and your grinning
as if i had enough strength as you do

its a tired, weak attempt
to create a chance for your counter act

its a dieing moment
its a dieing chance
i cant blink
all i have to do is
create a scene
and take my lines
and hope for you to see that im sencere

its one two three and times up
its time to go
but its time for nowhere
i through a dare and stare at you
and hope for you to see that im sencere

 

[Emusic]

Hi.
People normally feel it's better to comment on lyrics that sits with the tune/music.
I read through your text and didn't get too many pictures in my mind from it, wich is what a great lyric does. I don't have english as prime language so I'm really not good on commenting all the small stuff.
Record it and post it?
And - keep up making music