I need a critique of a song I wrote.
It’s about my girlfriend of four years who just broke up with me. I’ve been feeling a lot of emotions lately so I figured it would be a good time to write.
Please let me know what you think. I have great respect for these forums and the opinions that stem from them.
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She was the one
A soft dove, an angel of the night.
Her beauty bubbled
She stood up for her rights.
Then she told me
She told me, told me
She told me, told me
That I wasn’t for her
Holding her. Go!
<guitar solo>
Rachel Rachel why did you go?
We could’a worked it out, you you - you know?
I am so low, I am so low, I am so low.
Go Go Go!
<drum solo>
Her memory lives on
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH
She’s broken our bond
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH
I can’t live on
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH
Rachel is gone
NO NO NO NO NO
<short pause>
Rachel come backkkkkkkk <to fade>
<bass solo>
====================
Thanks for taking the time to read this
It’s about my girlfriend of four years who just broke up with me. I’ve been feeling a lot of emotions lately so I figured it would be a good time to write.
Please let me know what you think. I have great respect for these forums and the opinions that stem from them.
====================
She was the one
A soft dove, an angel of the night.
Her beauty bubbled
She stood up for her rights.
Then she told me
She told me, told me
She told me, told me
That I wasn’t for her
Holding her. Go!
<guitar solo>
Rachel Rachel why did you go?
We could’a worked it out, you you - you know?
I am so low, I am so low, I am so low.
Go Go Go!
<drum solo>
Her memory lives on
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH
She’s broken our bond
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH
I can’t live on
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH
Rachel is gone
NO NO NO NO NO
<short pause>
Rachel come backkkkkkkk <to fade>
<bass solo>
====================
Thanks for taking the time to read this