song about stuff

R

ROBOTQUALITYREC

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the sky changes crimson red
the moon is waiting
the starlight puts the sun to bed
the night is waiting

the air is thick it smells like rain
as i walk down to the lake
with all the preciousness of pain
theres only so much ill take
this end will sing
and bear remembering

tonight
ill give it all away
trade my last memory for grey
and fuck everything i love
i dont deserve it anyway
tonight
the twilight
it will witness me become
everything and everyone
as i give liquid to my lungs

i ask the dusk to kiss my eyes
as the light softly fades out
quietly usher me backstage
as my sight softly fades out
life evolves it does not die
and like the seasons
so will i

tonight
ill give it all away
trade my last memeory for grey
and fuck everything i love
i dont deserve it anyway
tonight
the twilight
it will witness me become
everything and everyone
as i give liquid to my lungs

thats the last song of a "concept album(ep)" my band wrote ..its 4 songs..its about a kid going to the lake for the weekend by himself and thinking about what life really is...

its more obvious writing wise than my last post
 
cool, The only parts that made my ears raise were....

"and fuck everything i love"

fuck.


and

"life evolves it does not die"

seems placed.

otherwise, kind of haunting, deep.
 
Great effort, I enjoyed these lyrics. You took a bit of a different tack and yes you were more obvious. But you did it without losing your poetic beauty.

Likewise, I am not a big fan of cursing in a song, especially one with such beautiful language as yours. It cheapens it a bit. But that's me.

Nuff said.

Very very good job.
 
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