okay, as to the mix, I have to agree that is just doesn't sound right. To me it sounds like a Guitar player that's trying to be a one man band. Either get a full on drum machine or record some live drums. The finger on the keyboard version sounds horrible.
The song needs something to fill it out. There are two guitars apparently both playing lead, kick, snare, bass, (played like a guitar player) and a single lead vocal. Put in some backup vocals, double the lead vocal, maybe a keyboard in the background. Something.
As for the song itself, I took the time to listen to a number of your other tunes. (religious rant here) Being a Christian musician myself for the past 20+ years you've hit one of my major pet peeves about Christian lyrics. Every song doesn't have to be written with this major story. It's almost as if you're afraid that if you don't cover the entire salvation story in one song, you've not done your job. Look at the lyrics to Mercy Me's latest album. So simple, yet when you pay attention, you realize there is something different about them from the worlds songs.
I have a post in this forum of a song. Listen to that song and then listen back to your own. No, I didn't mix or even record the song. But when you listen to it, it's sooooo simple yet so full. The lyrics repeat themselves, but it's a powerful message. My hope in posting it was to get peoples opinions on the quality of the mix. What did they hear in it that makes it a good song?
You're doing what God put in your heart to do. That's more than most will step up to. But I know for myself, I compare playing music for Him (which is what it's all about) to David dancing before the Lord. It says he danced with ALL HIS MIGHT. He put everything he had and some things he didn't even know he had into that dance. I believe he collapsed from sheer exhaustion when he was done. That's why when I'm on stage playing I give everything I can. When I record, I put everything I can into it. It's not for me, It's not for you, it's for Him. Period. With that in mind, think to yourself what can I do differently on this song to make it stand out to Him?
Sorry, rant went a little off course, but I think Mike will understand where I'm coming from..
-mike
