Snowstorm in the Sun - Known as, Beppe

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knownasbeppe

New member
Hello there fellow songwriters!!

This is new track that I have been working on. It's the first one to be finished after the change from Cubase 5 to Ableton Live! I am happy to finally be done with this after countless hours of learning this software.

The song is about a situation where you are stuck with someone destructive only because of love and the fear of being left alone. It's called "Snowstorm in the Sun", enjoy!

https://soundcloud.com/knownasbeppe/snowstorm-in-the-sun

Lyrics:

The Blinds have shut their eyes all the way
And the curtains are aligned to block the day
A slight illuminating ray shines through your hardend fray
You hear screams coming from the bathroom floor
But all you're thinking of is how the world's about to end

You brush it of and have a drink instead
We never realised the pain that it fed

"I lay awake every night just wondering how you can drown your sorrows when you... how you can drown your sorrows can't even... when you can't even drown yourself.. I can't.. I just don't understand..."

You have crossed the line from friend to foe
When you talk I feel the breath of drinks that fueled you up
A thought just went inside my brain, it said run away, this is insane
If you were a metaphor, you would stand for a SNOWSTORM IN THE SUN
But I can't stand on my own legs
So I can't go anywhere


With love
Known as, Beppe
 
You've got some kind of midrange buildup going on that gives the track a harsh sound, very evident in the intro and the repeat later in the song, but present throughout. I suspect it's down to compression or whatever mastering you did bringing out those use-with-caution frequencies.

I like the kind of atmospheric songs you do, with lots of harmonies. The vocals sound good. The song is promising. Not hearing much bass.

During the part where the lead vocal shares the stage with the spoken part on the right, you need to create more space in your mix. The two voices are getting tangled up. A more airy arrangement generally would benefit this song. Good work.
 
Robus said:
You've got some kind of midrange buildup going on that gives the track a harsh sound, very evident in the intro and the repeat later in the song, but present throughout. I suspect it's down to compression or whatever mastering you did bringing out those use-with-caution frequencies.
Click to expand...

+1 on that. I can make out all the voices clearly, but it's all mid-to-low range

There's a pop on "shines" at 1:02.

The spoken, lo-fi part is cool. A lot of interesting passages in this song.

"How can you drown your sorrows...when you can't even drown yourself." Seems an excessive reaction, no? :D
 
i'm not hearing the mid-range buildup on the vocals, just the intro instrument (which is very cool in tone btw). i thought the vocals could come up a bit for sure. they seem way out of place in comparison to the loudness of everything else. i thought this was really cool though, just could be a little smoother in eq and volumes. very Muse-like. :thumbs up:
 
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