Hey JazzMaster
As far as the mix is concerned for "taste" I found the drums way too loud. The rythym guitar wasn't heard very well and the lead was hardly heard at all because of the drums. [/OUOTE]
I agree.... Maybe it was a little overkill.... It sounded a lot better on my "monitors" (basically I run my 8 track into a home audio power amp, and mix everything on speakers that you would hook up to a dvd player). In the finaly draft of the songs I won't mix the drums in so loud....
jimmiebananas said:
As far as the song structure, I think this could be turned into a song. You did say you wanted this to turn into a better song and I believe that's certainly possible.
Thanks man!
I was just put this up as a "is this idea worth working on" kind of thing.
jimmiebananas said:
I'm not sure what your plans are for vocals on the song but the song right now is dying for some.
Yep, I'm really wanting to do some vocals, but; I have a very unique problem...... I can't sing worth a crap. I can do the "cookie monster" voice. (Click the mini-mortem link to hear me doing that). Do I really don't think this song lends itself to cooking monster vocals........
I haven't had any ideas on what I could do vocal wise on the track the way it is now. But, I was considering making it a little heavier with some stop and go kinda riffs, and doing the cookie monster vocals. (I was thinking about writting the song about the movie "It" and calling the song "the dead lights" or something).
jimmiebananas said:
I say this because the guitar sounds aren't anything special (not that they weren't played well or anything) but if you plan on keeping this as an instrumental I think it's lacking. As an instrumental piece I think the song is too simple. Simple being that listening to it without a voice isn't very engaging, the guitar is too simple.
Yep I agree, and the guitar really wasn't played that well.... It was pretty much all first takes. And at the very beginning of the song, I totally came in at the wrong place (about 48 seconds into the song you can hear me completely miss it)......
I would of redone it, but I can only record so late...... certain people which real remain annoymous tend to bitch at me and tell me to go inside.....
jimmiebananas said:
Overall, I think you've got a good start. It needs some lyrics and a new mix where the drums don't bury the rest of the song. Maybe someone would collaborate with lyrics or whatever if you defined what kind of mood/feeling/emotion you want from the song, or possibly a topic for the lyrics. Good luck with finishing it up.
Thanks man..... I'm thinking about elaborating on the very beginning drum riff a little more. With a little time I could make that completely bass ass.
And if I did that I could do some stop and gos right after the heavy opening part. And them a big build up to "dut dut na na....... dut dut na na na na" part. (Man that made me look smart didn't it?)
What everybody's take on the intro and outro? Keep them, loose them, shorten em up?
What would very body think about this....
*Shorten up the intro and keep it
*Elaborate the the opening drum stuff (starts around 30 seconds in song)
*Do a couple stop and go (like the what I do right at 40 seconds in)
*Go into the "dut dut na na....... dut dut na na na na" part. (50 seconds in)
*Keep the quiter "verse" kinda part (1:18 in)
*Go back to the "dut dut na na...... dut dut na na na na part" (1:45 in)
*Then go back to the verse again?
*"Dut dut na na.... dut dut na na na na"
*Really quite bridge that leads up to
*The last ongodly loud part. (2:13)
*Skip the outro all together
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Please tell me if it sucks.... It really won't hurt my feelings. I'm turing to turn this idea into a real song. Any help would be greatly appericated. Thanks
That's kinda man pla, tell me what you think about it.
