Please critique this song

S

scottn5388

New member
Hello All,

This is an older song that my band and I just re-recorded. It was recorded in my small basement "studio" using SONAR. The song is called "Start".

http://www.nowhereradio.com/artists/album.php?aid=3339&alid=-1

I would appreciate any feedback, both on the song and on the mixing. Any suggestions? Things I should change? I am still a newbie at all this and I would appreciate any comments you're willing to throw at me.

Thanks A Lot,
Scott
 
Hi Scott,

I listened to the song and I think there is some good structural things to how the song moves through its parts. It's a decent pop progression.

I noticed you having some trouble in spots with the lyrics where there seemed to be too many words and not enough space and time to sing them fluidly. You might want to think about re-writing some of the lines so that it flows a bit better. You voice is a good one for the style of music and sounded nice when you did the doubles and harmonies.

Mix-wise, I was having having trouble hearing the drums clearly in the mix. They seem to get buried in the heavier parts.

The guitar levels also seemed a little to loud when the chorus kicked in. They should be out front as you intended but maybe cut their level back a smidge.

Also a few little timing mistakes here and there that might get a little objectionable after a few listens. I am not sure about that though.

Cheers! :)
 
First listen: Vocals sound a little unsure. Sing it like you mean it. Your voice isn't bad, overall. Sounds like you're afraid to let go.

Nice bass progression, and I like the guitar riffs, but they sound -- on my setup -- very bright and indistinct in a way I can't describe. Do you have reverb or something on them? They kind of melt all together or something.

Nice harmonies vocally on the solos. If only the lead part was a little more confident. The vocal tone itself is nice.

Second listen: Bass drum's a little thin. Get a little more 'fat' in it. Can't hear the snare. In fact, you just need more drums overall, IMHO. They seem to be played (programed?) well, I just can't really hear them.

Enough of the negative. I like this song. You remind me of a cross between Sloan and Godfodder. I really like the chorus, other than the minor vocal snafus. This could be a really good song with a vocal re-sing and a bit different guitar EQ (and more drums).

Hope that helps. Don't mean to be too critical. I really did like it.
 
Thanks for your replys!

I agree...there should be more drums. (They were played live)

And I'll try to tweak the guitar tracks some more. I'm hesitant to turn them down too much 'cause I'm trying to get a calm verse and loud refrain effect. (Iguess I could just make the verse a little quieter)

Thanks again for your replys...Pitdownman....your post was far from "too critical". I like to hear what other people think and found both posts helpful.

-Scott
 
I heard this before. You posted this a few months ago. The reason I remember is because I really like the song. "Was it something I said as a china plate flew by." I love that line. There are quite few good ones in there. Something about proposing to a girl named Sue. "She said 'Yes,' we have 3 kids, now I don't think of you." Another gem.

Some execution things here and there. 2:02 has these guitars that blast out of nowhere and the harmony vocals aren't real smooth. Some of the harmonies are a bit pitchy. A little stumble at 1:13 - the line through there has a lot of syllables.

That little guitar line on the right side sounds a little thin.

Guitars cover the vocals in spots.

Not sure you have the best vocal performance you're capable of. The vox are pretty dry. Maybe some verb or delay might help.

Still a terrific song.
 
Very good songwriting.. The good news is that your main problem lies in the mixing. Possibly your equipment.

Bring the vocals forward a little. Like the first guy said, throw a little more passion into the singing.

Guitars sounds like there are blankets over the amps. (if you were live) Could be an EQ problem? I agree with everyones comments about the drums.

Cheers
 
Thanks for your comments everyone...

The guitars were done with a J-Station and could easily be redone.

The vocals were done with an SM-57 and I've been having trouble getting them to stick out without making them sound funny. I'll see if I can borrow some sort of condensor and re-track them.

Thanks again for your replys!

-Scott
 
nice song... i liked the overall theme.

the guitar sound needs a little help. it has the typical over-hyped proximity effect that a lot of modelers suffer from. some eq would help, but i think the source should be tweeked first. getting rid of some of the low mids and getting more of the upper mid sound would help the guitars jump out of the mix better, but at a lower overall level so they wouldn't be walking on the vocal and drums.
 
Thanks....

I'm gonna try and retrack the guitars today and I'll post the updated version up later tonight to see what you guys (gals?) think.

-Scott
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top