Original Song - Dear God

Nice sounding song - good melody and arrangement. Could use some drum variety Mix for me is okay - nothing I would see needs fixing. :D
 
It might just be my laptop speakers, but the vocal tracks sound sort of hollow- what kind of mic did you use?

I like the overall feel- the only place that feels a little awkward is the turn between the chorus and the fifth verse. It just seems to sit there for a while without any real movement. I'd either shorten that segment or add another instrumental to move the music somehow.

Otherwise, a really fun song.
 
Thank you dkerwood (and ido1957's).

dkerwood you were dead on with your comments. The space before verse 5 needed a big bang. As soon as you made the comment I listened again, and the "climax" at that point in the song I was hearing was in my head alone! So when I would listen to the song I would hear it, but no one else. Sounds kinda hocky, but that's what was happening.

And so I put the biggest bang I could think of there before verse 5 - thunder. It just seemed to work with the subject material.

As for the mike, I have a Behringer B-1. But I don't think that was causing the problem. I think I was destroying the audio with the filters and enhancements I had going on in the software I use Sonar X1 Producer. I really don't know what I am doing when it comes to the mixing. At any rate, I think I cleaned it up a little.

THANK YOU BOTH so much for your comments, they were very valuable, and greatly appreciated.

Rick
 
+1 on at least bringing the drums up though i agree a real drummer would really bring some life to this. vocal delivery is a little timid, but the tune is well written and definitely has greater potential.
 
cool little song. simple and quirky.

I'd clean up the vocals some. I know it's the filters you have on there, but they sound phasey.

Also, the choruses could use a little something more. Maybe a guitar or something would fill them in.

Nice song, and do what you want with it, that's what keeps it original.
 
Thank you all for your comments. I wanted to offer my feedback to them.

1. The issue of the break between the chorus and 5th verse needing something. Excellent point. God is now speaking via thunder there.

2. The muddy sound in the vocals. I did do a number on it during my "mixing", but this morning, I discovered there was a hidden vocal track from a backup copy that was interfering! Yikes!

3. My meek voice. Ah well, 'nothing can be done about that. I'm just a hobbyist. I wish I had someone who could add vocal beauty and distinctiveness to my songs. But I'm on a $0 budget.

4. The drums. Multiple comments about the need for strong drums; you are dead on. The drums are the one instrument I cheat on, using a recorded beat. I do add some midi cymbals. Hopefully they are more driving in this version. I would love a real drummer.


Thank you for all your comments.

By the way, this song is very "real" for me, the words were not simply thought up for the song, but reflect my thinking two years ago when someone I love fell ill.

All the best,

Rick
 
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