Only one verse left, FOR YOU!!

T

TheOverallKyle

New member
Well, i'm just a young guy who is into writing and recording songs. I play more of an acoustic style like Jack Johnson, John Mayer, and Gavin DeGraw. I'm am in a little writers block after goin as far as a verse, a chorus, and a bridge. I'm thinking that this song only needs another verse to sum it all up. YOU CAN WRITE YOUR OWN VERSE TO THIS SONG AND POST IT AS A REPLY! I WOULD LIKE TO SEE IF IT FITS FOR THE SONG!

Concept: Music will set you free

Here's what I have so far:
Verse 1
Dont you turn around and hide when it seems there's no other way
Fear will lead you nowhere when you cant stand this place
Remember these words and keep that chin held high
Take the covers of your ears and off of your eyes..

Chorus
And I....I....Forget about all of this insanity
And I....I....Let go of all the things that trouble me
Out of sight, Out of my mind. Into a place with only rhythm and time
And I....I....Fly.....Away

Bridge
But when you're up dont hit your head on the clouds
Reach for the stars, don't fall back down

NEEDS A SECOND VERSE!!!
 
Don't be afraid of changing all your self made plans
and blame the world for setbacks with your head in the sand
every single victory is a monument on a hill
built on layers of failures and the words of "yes I will"
 
Don't settle in an unfulfilling place because you're afraid of change
and if it appears the weakest limb does not mean it will break
remember dreams are ours to live and instead we let them die
take the covers off your ears and off of your eyes
 
As a concept I love it, but the lyrics could be more specific; exactly what place cant the ‘you’ stand and why? Why would I need music? Before you tell how liberating music is you want to let the listener know exactly how bad the life is that it is saving.
Why not give each verse a very distinctive story about someone sad and unfulfilled or held back by fear that can dispelled by music

For the Ch sing in the role of music that will free;

‘I will set you free, I’m the rhythm that you need,
To liberate and celebrate, Oh I’m the melody
I am a Jesus and messiah of the sound
I’m the song to lift you up when life will take you down
I am the harmony’

The bridge is a bit of a mixed metaphor that restates what you have already said. A bridge is usually another point of view.

HTH
Burt
 
Neither a borrower nor a lender be say I
Look before you leap as he who hesitates loses
Remember these words and just pull up those socks
Wives tales and sour grapes we beggars can't be choosers.

Pull your finger out and get a life,
Pull your ear plugs out and hear the world.
Pulls your shades off and witness the strife,
It's the world, it's real, you're a part of it, now participate.

Nah, I can't do it. It's too praise/up/cliche/positive/nice for my writing style.
Reads like a scatterish U2 early era song.
 
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There's a place that I can go when the chaos gets too much
That lets me sort things out so I can stand my ground
May not be much help but maybe I can touch
Somebody, with the power in a sound
 
if you ever post the actual song with a part for another verse message me i'd record my verse, its written but i don't feel like posting it.
 
thankyou guys so much! sorry its been a while for a reply! I love all the critiquing and suggestions and lyrics! I think i've chosen a winner! Thank you so much guys! Will post a youtube video of final production if u want
 
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