One of my songs: criticism is welcome!

You have a fine voice, the recording is cool, and the song structure is okay, though fairly conventional.

You have to think hard about your lyrics. Songs about not being understood are very common, so you face a lot of competition.

At the moment you are a little fish swimming in a vast sea: the song, though pretty good, is no better and no worse than the hundreds already out there, so you need to work what will clearly differentiate you from everyone else.

I would describe your song as 'safe'. It's a good song to put on an album, but it may not be sufficient on its own to cause people to prick up their ears and take notice of it.
 
gecko zzed said:
You have a fine voice, the recording is cool, and the song structure is okay, though fairly conventional.

You have to think hard about your lyrics. Songs about not being understood are very common, so you face a lot of competition.

At the moment you are a little fish swimming in a vast sea: the song, though pretty good, is no better and no worse than the hundreds already out there, so you need to work what will clearly differentiate you from everyone else.

I would describe your song as 'safe'. It's a good song to put on an album, but it may not be sufficient on its own to cause people to prick up their ears and take notice of it.
Click to expand...

I really appreciate your taking time to listen to it! I think the chorus lacks explosion. It`s just ok. That`s not my voice, by the way! I wrote the song, paid some money and had it recorded in Nashville. I`ve got like 20 songs I wanna record, and I think at least 10 of them are better than this one. Or so I think. I don`t wanna become a singer. Just a songwriter. I hate being on the stage!:eek:
 
Not bad ,not bad at all A.D.
I'll have to go with how gecko describe your song as safe.
I like your vocal hook "I missed you then" but found no musical hook, in fact nothing at all to hang a hat on.
Back in the day this one would be considered a B side of a hit 45 record. But nowadays there is no such beast you have to put out a major song with a video on you tube to make a splash.
I'll be interested in hearing more of your work! But I don't think you have to pay money and send them out.
Have you tried co-writing with someone or playing out with other people doing your material?
And is the *country flair* how you write and perform your material?
Be safe and keep on keeping on.



:cool:
 
A.D.Ryan said:
I think the chorus lacks explosion.
Click to expand...

You've hit the nail on the head. While there is an increase in energy in the chorus, there needs to be a lot more drama here (vocally and instrumentally) to make the listener sit up and notice.
 
Cheers

moresound said:
Not bad ,not bad at all A.D.
I'll have to go with how gecko describe your song as safe.
I like your vocal hook "I missed you then" but found no musical hook, in fact nothing at all to hang a hat on.
Back in the day this one would be considered a B side of a hit 45 record. But nowadays there is no such beast you have to put out a major song with a video on you tube to make a splash.
I'll be interested in hearing more of your work! But I don't think you have to pay money and send them out.
Have you tried co-writing with someone or playing out with other people doing your material?
And is the *country flair* how you write and perform your material?
Be safe and keep on keeping on.

Thanks mate! As soon as I record them I`ll let you know! I think it might take a while:)) I have a few silly songs I wrote 10 years ago, but they`re not in English. I`ll upload those as well, but I think I`m a bit better now.
Why do you think I ahouldn`t pay money and send out the songs? Is there a better way? You think youtube will work?
I cowrote a couple of songs 14 years ago. When the nashville guys recorded my song, they added the country "flair". I like country songs but I`m more into rock. Well.... good music. Anything! So... I write rock songs, folk songs etc.
Click to expand...
 
Thanks!

gecko zzed said:
You've hit the nail on the head. While there is an increase in energy in the chorus, there needs to be a lot more drama here (vocally and instrumentally) to make the listener sit up and notice.
Click to expand...
Thank you!
I think you and I both now what we`re saying and where we are at! I couldn`t do anything about that. I wasn`t there when they recorded it. It wouldn`t have been a hit, not even with that explosion we`re talking about, but the version I got kinda puts me to sleep:) Which is not necessarily a bad thing. It could become a best selling lullaby:D Haha
 
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