One Last...

[7string]

Ok, this is the first song that I have completed since I switched to Reaper. Just wanna get a feel for how I'm doing.

This song is about suddenly finding out that you have time for only one last thing. Would you go do something that was fun? Maybe do something that you always wanted to do but never got around to? Maybe relive one particular part of your life?

Or would you try to right a wrong that you may have done somewhere along the trails of your life?

Anyway it's called One Last. All comments welcome but I really would like to know ALL thoughts on the mix.

New Mix

Lyrics:

Well I wonder what you'd do
If somebody came to you
And they said you had to make some plans 'cuz you were leaving soon
And I wonder what you'd say
If they said it was today
You were running out of time so little left so much to do

And what if they told you they were closing the door
And what if they told you you had just time for

One more wish, one more ride
One last kiss, one last tide
One more day, one more night
One last shot to try to get it right

Well I wonder what you'd do
If someone you never knew
Came along and tried to take away all of the things you love
And I wonder what you'd say
If somewhere along the way
You found out you had to pay for all the things you're guilty of

And what if they told you they were closing the door
And what if they told you you had just time for

One more touch, one more chance
One last shout, one last dance
One more day, one more night
One last shot to try to get it right

Oh, why do we not refrain
From the things that cause us pain
Oh, we take advantage of
All the meek and downtrodden
And then we think ourselves above

One more wish, one more ride
One last kiss, one last tide
One more day, one more night
One last shot to try to get it right

One more touch, one more chance
One last shout, one last dance
One more day, one more night
One last shot to try to get it right

One more love, one more scheme
One last shove, one last dream
One more day, one more night
One last shot to try to get it right

 

[Greg_L]

The whole mix sounds dark and lifeless. Everything is there level-wise, but there's a lot of mud in the lows and lower mids that kill the shine and clarity across the mix. There's no "air" or space between the instruments. I suspect it's a problem with your monitoring situation. It's gotta be pretty rough for you not to hear the mud buildup. The drums have no stereo presence. They're all crammed right there in the middle. Same with the synth riffs. Go back in and work with the EQ of each track and get some definition and clarity happening between the instruments and vocals. And speaking of vocals, they're kind of rough. Very pitchy, like this is out of your comfort range or you're just not singing hard enough. The metal solos are well played, but don't really fit the song. Like I said, the levels are pretty good, but it's just not a very clean mix.

 

[RAMI]

Hey 7!

It's a nice song. I agree with Greg that it's a little "dark". But the mix is great. I hear everything, vocals are up front. You got a nice bass sound, too. I remember you once telling me that you always had trouble mixing the bass. Seems you've got that figured out. It sounds good.

 

[squibble94]

Hey 7!

It's a nice song. I agree with Greg that it's a little "dark". But the mix is great. I hear everything, vocals are up front. You got a nice bass sound, too. I remember you once telling me that you always had trouble mixing the bass. Seems you've got that figured out. It sounds good.

+1

I hear the same thing.

 

[7string]

The whole mix sounds dark and lifeless. Everything is there level-wise, but there's a lot of mud in the lows and lower mids that kill the shine and clarity across the mix. There's no "air" or space between the instruments. I suspect it's a problem with your monitoring situation. It's gotta be pretty rough for you not to hear the mud buildup. The drums have no stereo presence. They're all crammed right there in the middle. Same with the synth riffs. Go back in and work with the EQ of each track and get some definition and clarity happening between the instruments and vocals. And speaking of vocals, they're kind of rough. Very pitchy, like this is out of your comfort range or you're just not singing hard enough. The metal solos are well played, but don't really fit the song. Like I said, the levels are pretty good, but it's just not a very clean mix.

Thanks, Greg! Yep. I have the most trouble with the bass and then the mid-lows and I'm guessing that the problem is related. The drums are a machine and I didn't want to take the time to mess with them since I'm hoping to get some real drums eventually. As for the voice, it IS pitchy but in all fairness to myself, I had a pretty nasty throat infection in the fall and I'm still trying to get my voice back! It is a bit out of my comfort zone as well. Here I am making excuses...

Hey 7!

It's a nice song. I agree with Greg that it's a little "dark". But the mix is great. I hear everything, vocals are up front. You got a nice bass sound, too. I remember you once telling me that you always had trouble mixing the bass. Seems you've got that figured out. It sounds good.

Thanks, Rami! I figured that instead of recording the bass as clean as possible I'd record it as FULL as possible. Now I just have to work on getting the definition out of it that I want/need.

+1

I hear the same thing.

Thanks! Appreciate the listen and the comment!

 

[trumpino1]

Dude, I think it sounds awesome and the guitar solo is spectacular. The only thing that stuck out to me was that I was reading the lyrics (while the file was downloading) and it sounded really like a horrible thing. Like the plant was closing down and they were laying you off and you were losing all of your retirement and benefits and there was one more day to get over it. But then the song was so happy sounding that it sounded like it was the best day of you life. But, maybe I'm a dumbass and if so just tell me "you're a dumbass" and that will be fine.

Great song other than I don't get the whole theme.

Trump

 

[7string]

Dude, I think it sounds awesome and the guitar solo is spectacular. The only thing that stuck out to me was that I was reading the lyrics (while the file was downloading) and it sounded really like a horrible thing. Like the plant was closing down and they were laying you off and you were losing all of your retirement and benefits and there was one more day to get over it. But then the song was so happy sounding that it sounded like it was the best day of you life. But, maybe I'm a dumbass and if so just tell me "you're a dumbass" and that will be fine.

Great song other than I don't get the whole theme.

Trump

Thanks for the listen and the comment, Trump! As I stated in the first post, the song is basically asking, "If you suddenly found out you were going to die and you had time for ONLY one thing to do, what would you do? Would you do something fun? Something you've never done? Would you go back to some particular time in your life? Or...

Would you go back and right a wrong at some point in your life?"

The whole thing stemmed from something that I saw on TV. Someone found out they were dying and decided to right a wrong, but ONLY because he was trying to get into Heaven.

 

[trumpino1]

I'll be damned I missed that part of the post I must have just skipped on to the lyrics by mistake. I'll have to say that you nailed it then. Great song and one hell of an idea because it did exactly what you wanted it to. Have a good one.

 

[7string]

Thanks, Trump!

I had some time this morning to whip out a quick remix. I think I'm getting closer.

New mix is in the first post and also here.

 

[tmx]

Nice tune. Solid performance, great vocal quality. I get the lyrics (may not have in my 20s or even 30s), having thought about that very subject more than a few times in the not-so-distant past.

My monitoring situation isn't such that I can give an accurate critique of the mix itself, but I do agree with Greg_l on the guitar solo. Way too metal , IMO, and stands out by virtue of its inappropriateness to the song. The tuning also sounds slightly sharp in spots. A cleaner, fatter lead tone and a few less notes, you'll be right there. That said, I do think you're on to something with the EVH-style thing going into the second half of the solo. Definitely takes the listener from here to there.

Just my 'druthers...

-Bob

 

[joeym]

The song is really good, Jeff.
But I agree with guys that it needs some dynamic and life to it. The voice is a bit too out front and it's not all pitchy, so you can go back in and maybe fix those parts and sink it more in the mix. The solo is a bit too contrasting to the style of the song. I would go for a journey style thing, in fact the whole song reminds me of jouney. Some harmonies would really bring more life to it. It's a nice song, so make it shine!

 

[7string]

Thanks, Bob! Thanks, Joey! I think I'm going to let this one sit for awhile and take a different approach and see where it gets me.