Omg this song is bugging me!

I

ItzCashew

New member
Ok so my friend is doing this song and i already promised him ill help him out with the song and he gave me this beat:

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=558793&songID=4272617

The problem is i dunno what to write for this beat its too confusing....he told me to take verse 1 so i have to write atleast some good decent lines to help open the song.

The topic he gave me for this was about struggling to live in the world, with crime, poverty, and hard times.
It just doesnt click with me. Someone please help me out. I've written at least 3 pages of lyrics all of which i threw out because they all suck. =(
 
Well basically i just come in like right away which i dont like but these are the best bits and pieces of my lyrics:

I cant stand this shit
Flipping the TV
Another tragedy
I dont believe this
As Life pass by
People just Die
Unsolved homicides
Lord please tell me why

Here is another snippet:

Man this isnt just nothing
It will never be stopping
Rifle rounds just popping
Innocent bodies dropping
We running all outta coffins

everythinf else is basically worst than this.
 
ItzCashew said:
Well basically i just come in like right away which i dont like but these are the best bits and pieces of my lyrics:

I cant stand this shit
Flipping the TV
Another tragedy
I dont believe this
As Life pass by
People just Die
Unsolved homicides
Lord please tell me why

Here is another snippet:

Man this isnt just nothing
It will never be stopping
Rifle rounds just popping
Innocent bodies dropping
We running all outta coffins

everythinf else is basically worst than this.
Click to expand...

let's see, the background says "this is my life, and you are my life, and i thank you."

so the lyrics could describe three things-

1)Shitty life. As in, YOUR shitty life, or the life of the rapper/singer. Your lyrics are a little too far removed from this, not personal enough - turning on the TV and thinking how life sucks only really worked for Mary J. Blige in "No More Drama."

2)How life with the girl helps you get past the shitty life.

3)Thanks to the girl.

I'm guessing #2 and #3 will be addressed in later lyrics, since your friend just asked you to start it off with Topic #1.
 
Thats exactly the point i just dont know how to effectively work on this beat. Im thinking about the voice in the background talking about "a certain person" in your life. Which im going to make God. So im trying to make my lyrics towards how life is hard but God is there to save you.

The problem still remain....i cant draw much out lyric wise.
 
ok so substitute "girl" with "god" in the concept and it will help you shape the first part of "life sucks," knowing where it's going to lead you. again, pick more personal lyrics instead of observational critique.
 
i dont listen to a lot of rap... but can the person whos gonna sing or rap or whatever go really fast?i think it should be fast.

it sounds like it could be something by twista (<-- hes a rapper, right?)
neways it sounds cool but i cant help here... dont know why im posting... just puttin in my 2 cents and walkin away...
 
Here's the chorus I'm hearing. Maybe it'll help give you some ideas. Each line takes about two measures and "this is the" is a pickup in a preceding measure:

This is the street where I learned to drive.
This is the street where my children ride their bikes.
This is the street where punks get high.
This is the street- can anybody tell me why?

This is the home where I keep my love.
This is the home where we fear the God above.
This is the home we don't leave at night.
This is the home- can't no one say we'll be alright?

It doesn't really fit the theme though. . .
 
Hope this helps...
I don't write rap...but I like some of it...
Ignore the first lyrical "Intro"
Immediately after the 2nd "This is my life"...

Didn't wanna wake up
And never though I'd break out
I was crawlin without your help
I (Thank you) I I (Thank You){Say "I" Between Background "Thank Yous" fast}
{Sing like bone thugs}- I can't believe I was handed these cards in this life
But-this is MY life {In unison with back ground--only talking instead}

You lifted me and made me stronger (You won't regret it)
These streets won't take me down no longer (I won't forget it)
I had a destiny of failing {Singing (No More)}
I'm sailing higher, higher, higher, higher
{Talking} Thank you for pushing my head up
Chorus
Hope this spark sunthin :) :)
Winter
 
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