Ode To An Old Cowboy

R

rguagenti

New member
Please tell me what you guys think. I'm working on the music. Sort of a dreamy acoustic feel:


ODE TO AN OLD COWBOY

When the morning falls upon you
And the evening crashes down
Does your head bow down, do your eyes gaze
at the emptiness around?

Like the silence of the wind blowin'
And the sound of pouring rain
Oh my ears can't stand the shouting
And my head it feels no pain


BREAK

When the ghosts of cowboys call you
To go riding on the range
Saddle up and take the high road
And let the saddle be you friend
And let the saddle be your friend
And let the saddle be your friend
 
What I'm assuming are the verses (the lines before the break) don't seem to have anything to do w/ what I'm assuming is the chorus (the lines after the break).

A
 
No horse is mentioned.....

A cowboy needs a horse, not just a sadle. ;)
 
I agree with Aaron - the verses don't really establish a clear idea that explains the progession to the chorus. However, I think the concept could create an interesting story line - if you can tell the story better.

I remember reading something that the verses should be the who, what, when, where & why and the chorus should answer those questions. While that is overly simplistic - I use it because I could not really find the who, what, where, when or why in your verses.
 
What I'm trying to convey is the loneloness of an old cowboy, last of his breed type of thing. Alone in his thoughts, alone by the campfire type of feel.

He is waiting for that "ride on the range" that I allude to in the final verse(which is really a bridge I guess), since all of the other cowboys are gone.

Appreciate the comments.
 
Watch this:

When the Fighting is Over
by Aaron Cheney and rguagenti

When the morning falls upon you
And the evening crashes down
Does your head bow down, do your eyes gaze
at the emptiness around?

Like the silence of the wind blowin'
And the sound of pouring rain
Oh my ears can't stand the shouting
And my head it feels no pain

(Chorus)
'Cause when the fighting' is over
And the crying is through
You don't love me
And I don't love you

...or....

Robots in the Future
by Aaron Cheney and rguagenti

When the morning falls upon you
And the evening crashes down
Does your head bow down, do your eyes gaze
at the emptiness around?

Like the silence of the wind blowin'
And the sound of pouring rain
Oh my ears can't stand the shouting
And my head it feels no pain

(Chorus)
'Cause I'm a robot in the future
And my bones are like dust
And in the rain the pain, the novacaine
My outsides turn to rust


See what I'm getting at? You have to tell the story in a more specific way. You also must change the title so that it appears in the chorus. Ghost of a Cowboy would work, and is much more interesting anyway. I'll just shoot from the hip here:

Ghost of a Cowboy
by Aaron Cheney and rguagenti

Well it's another lonely morning
To another lonely day
On another lonely trail
Between here and Sante Fe

So I finish up my coffee
And saddle up again
And we get the cattle moving
Just me and the wind

(Chorus)When the ghost of a cowboy calls you
To go riding on the range
You saddle up and take the high road
And let the saddle be you friend
And let the saddle be your friend
And let the saddle be your friend

See how the verses tell the story now? It's specific and interesting and wouldn't work with just any old chorus, like Robots in the Future or When the Fighting is Over. :)

A
 
Hey Aaron:

Thanks for the reply and your time.

I see what you're getting at. I'll rework my verses to be a bit more narrative. I kinda like the plural though "Ghosts of Cowboys" vs "Ghost of a Cowboy". Either way that IS a more powerful title than the irugubal.

Somethin for me to chew on and spit out(a little cowboy phrase there).
 
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